Day 23 no subs, no narcotics.
I feel almost Human today. Reduced Alcohol intake over the last two days. Starting today, no alcohol through the week. Seat belt fastened, seat back and tray table in their full locked and upright position. Here we go. Yippie!
Thanks to allya'll (plural in Texan) for your thoughts and support. It makes a big difference to be able to speak with those that have had similar experiences. I look forward to the point that can begin to possibly help some folks.
I grew up Military wolf so Veterans Day always holds a special place in my heart.......We always honor our Veterans on the forum also.
PS: Thursday is Veterans Day. Please do something to honor those that lived and those that did not to enable us to live our lives without Tyranny. At least keep them in your thoughts, fly a Flag, whatever. Just show your support.....
I'm gonna try to get JayB to get on the Bike and ride to Veterans Memorial Thurs. I'm sure the HUGE place will be covered up by Family, Friends and Bikers (Patriot Guard...Look it up). Humble Thanks. WM.
The before mentioned All Saints Day Service about unglued every thing I have recnently built back up. It was all I could do to not cry my eyes out like a little girl..........
Did you see my last personal post?
Im still reading and taking this all in Jay~~~~
Wolf actually followed me to church today (I'm in the choir and go early). No matter what he says, he's still pretty shaky and I was surprised to see him out there in the pews at 11:00. Today is All Saints Sunday, and I thank God we sang the anthem early or I wouldn't have able to squeak out a sound at all. Between the sermon and communion music, I was in tears up there in the choir loft. I couldn't even manage to take communion and hid out in the Groom's room until I got myself back together. Wolf and I weren't the only ones in tears. It was pretty powerful stuff and having lost my mother in March and another good friend in the past year and a half, memories were overwhelming. The good thing is that we talked about the past few days when we got home. He had no idea how close I was to calling 911 Friday night or how close he was to being fired from this marriage.
Let's say we have a temporary truce. Yes, he's still drinking but not nearly as much. He plans to go back to his "controlled" drinking schedule tomorrow. That means no alchohol Monday through Friday at 5:00 pm. I think it's a crock, but there it is. We'll keep you posted.
My apologies in the response delay, regrettably I havent been able to hang around here as often as I would like or should have, but I received Vicki's message. (Thanks as always Vicki!)
Im in Kuwait right now, on my way out the door to the airport to head back to the US tonight, so Ive got to try and make this short... But I will be sure to check in and post back when I get back home tomorrow.
Sub is a real bear to kick, and unfortunately you are finding out right now just how much this is to be true. The tricky thing about it, which is most often misunderstood is that the degree of withdrawals experience is directly correlated to the severity of your previous active addiction (DOC, Frequency of use, and number of previous attempts to quit)
When we begin sub treatment it pretty much stops withdrawals in their tracks, and while it is true that it has its own set of withdrawals, there are studies in the works to show that the vast majority of what you are feeling now is a rebound withdrawal.
Theres some bad news and some good news here.
The bad news is... you may be in for a few more rough weeks. This is such a personal and individual experience that its hard to guage exactly how long.
I was on sub for 2.5 years at 16mgs. When I jumped off, my final dose was 3mgs, and my withdrawal process peaked at 10 days, layed steady for another week, and then VERY slowly got easier over the course of another 2 weeks. By the 4 week period I was able to sleep in 5-6 hour increments uninterrupted, and only had short bouts of that "Ants under the skin feeling"
About 1.5 months after I was feeling as good as new, so the good news is, it shouldnt get any worse, and most certainly will get better!!! Today I have been off Suboxone for 163 days, and I am loving every minute of it!
The meds that your new doc prescribed will help quite a bit, just be sure to take them as directed.
As far as the alcohol.... indeed it is a bad idea. Your brain is a storm of neuro chemicals all trying to balance themselves out, and adding a Central nervous system depressant into the mix certainly wont make things easier in the long run.
I've gotta jet (Literally) You are doing amazingly well! Hang in there and keep relying on that awesome wife you have there for support. Shes your strongest weapon combined with yourself in your recovery arsenal!!!
I'll be back here later on!
HenryS