Support for codeine detox

[FreeNstrong]

I have been abusing codeine, 150mg at least up to 400mg at most, over the last few days, with a few breaks of up to 10 days over the last 6 months. When I have detoxed in this time my partner has been away so it has been manageable. This time I have to do it while he is around, and he has made it very very clear that if I was to use again it would be over. He cannot know. Without going into my whole long story I used to be a heroin addict for a couple of years before I got together with this partner. My last major relapse ruined our wedding plans. After that I was clean for over a year and became pregnant but then lost the baby. In hospital miscarrying they gave me morphine, even knowing my history, and sent me home with a script for panadeine forte 30mg codeine 500mg paracetamol. Not long after I injured my neck and shoulder badly and got another script for same. Then a month later my Dad passed away. All this slowly led to me becoming addicted to codeine again.

I tried to go c/t 2 weeks ago pretending I had the flu but lapsed on day 3 when I had a lot to do and was feeling the worst. Now I am preparing to try again tomorrow. It is impossible for him to not notice I am ill so I will do my best to be productive and upbeat but will have to claim I have the "flu" AGAIN. He is getting very suspicious already, asking if I am taking anything. I am terrified of losing him he means the world to me and is my last chance of having a child before I'm too old.

I have some tyrosine, valium and loperamide as all as vitamins, magnesium etc. I will start taking naltrexone after day 5. I am just looking for some support accountability and encouragement as I feel so alone scared and terrible about my relapse and lying to my love.

Please send me some words of encouragement, I really have to do this now.

[AshleyDiamondz]

I would flush all the pills you have down the toilet and get you some energy pills from your local herb shop or gas station. Stay hydrated, and put a big smile on your face knowing that what you are doing is gonna make things so much better when you stop. You can do this .

[Pat1956100]

This is a tough one  I don't know how you can hide it and if he is onto you about the flu, you may end up telling him anyway when you are vulnerable during your detox.
We understand your relapse and you don't have to explain to us "why".  It's because we are addicts and if we have pills we will almost always abuse them.  I am about to go through it again myself.  I was taking prescribed pills for a legitimate reason and when I didn't have anyone to hold them for me, i ended up abusing them and I will have to go through "another detox" which I am really afraid of this time.  
Make sure you drink lots and lots of fluids.  Glad you have some of the things that you need.  
Keep posting for support.  It's quiet on the weekends but hopefully others will chime in.  Just know that we understand here.