Aa
It's time and past time
I am a senior citizen who has had a mild addiction to hydrocodone for more years than I can remember. Always got them from my doctor. He was very generous and that's when I got hooked. I used to do bad things to get them but now I have a regular supply of 55 a month. Doesn't last though. I got up to 5 10mgs a day and I hate what I've become. I'm fat, dirty, no interest in anything anymore. Used to work hard in the yard, loved to decorate adnd redecorate my house, was good at writing, good brain. Now I just sit at this stupid computer zoned out all day long. I HATE THIS. I HATE ME.
I have deliberately let myself run out. Tried cold turkey couple weeks back. Couldn't stand it so got more. Now that I know what to expect from g oing ct, I think I'm better prepared. No support other than myself.
Just wanted to check in and tell "somebody" what's going on and to have a place to come to when things get bad. I'd rather die than live this way any longer. That is not some dramatic statement. It's simply true. I am 60 years old and can't get hired due to my age and health. I am completely alone in my life. I sincerely would rather live no longer than to keep living this way.
I have deliberately let myself run out. Tried cold turkey couple weeks back. Couldn't stand it so got more. Now that I know what to expect from g oing ct, I think I'm better prepared. No support other than myself.
Just wanted to check in and tell "somebody" what's going on and to have a place to come to when things get bad. I'd rather die than live this way any longer. That is not some dramatic statement. It's simply true. I am 60 years old and can't get hired due to my age and health. I am completely alone in my life. I sincerely would rather live no longer than to keep living this way.
Just keep going.. You are doing very well.. You will feel better when you are off them.. I wish you the best..
Only you people here. just passed 24 hours and so far, so good. Stomach trouble not too bad yet. That's what I've been thinking too...it's just the flu, just the flu.
Hello addict in recovery. I am so glad you posted. This site can be your lifeline and resource especially since your going solo. It;s been awhile, but if I remember correctly day 2 was not real fun. My emotions were all over the place, crying, self pity,pissed I got myself in this mess. Tummy was hollow and I spent lots of time in the restroom. Headache and muscle jitters were quite strong. Having said that it was nothing I couldn't push thru. The tub will be your best friend along with watered down juice and soft toilet paper (hah). Another member on her (lil bit) told herself "I have the flu". She said it made it so much more bearable knowing if you have the flu, you buck up and deal with it. Treat the symptoms as they arise and post all day long everyday if you need to. Stay as active and distracted as possible. No more caffeine pills. They will enhance your anxiety as you pull out of this. I did a half of cup of coffee to keep a caffine headache from making things worse, but you'll know what you can tolerate. Keep your eye on the prize knowing your reclaiming the life you USED to have, but better. The prozac probably will help with the lows. Do you have a friend you can confide in?
Thank you for your response. I'm surprised at how adult and well spoken the people are on this site. This is something I must do alone. There is no option for getting a doctor's help.
I would like to ask the community what to expect after the second day. As I said in my original post, I only made it 2 days before I caved the first time. The first day wasn't bad at all but the second was pure horror. I thought the wd's would come on steadily, not hit me all at once and that's when I caved. It's only been about 18 hours since my last dose and I already have diahrrea. I'm a bit shaky but I think most of that is mental, dreading another day 2, not knowing what to expect on day 3. The reason these awful things hooked me so quickly in the first place was that they immediately did away with a lifetime of depression and low energy. There are things to be done today and I keep telling myself to get the hell up and do them because tomorrow I may not be able to do them. I'm on prozac for depression, not much of a dose, probably not enough to tell you the truth, but I'm glad it's there for this time period. I may have made a mistake about an hour ago. I took a caffeine pill in the hope it would rev me up enough to get things done around here today when the days after today are going to get rough.
What happens on day 3?
I would like to ask the community what to expect after the second day. As I said in my original post, I only made it 2 days before I caved the first time. The first day wasn't bad at all but the second was pure horror. I thought the wd's would come on steadily, not hit me all at once and that's when I caved. It's only been about 18 hours since my last dose and I already have diahrrea. I'm a bit shaky but I think most of that is mental, dreading another day 2, not knowing what to expect on day 3. The reason these awful things hooked me so quickly in the first place was that they immediately did away with a lifetime of depression and low energy. There are things to be done today and I keep telling myself to get the hell up and do them because tomorrow I may not be able to do them. I'm on prozac for depression, not much of a dose, probably not enough to tell you the truth, but I'm glad it's there for this time period. I may have made a mistake about an hour ago. I took a caffeine pill in the hope it would rev me up enough to get things done around here today when the days after today are going to get rough.
What happens on day 3?
WOW, So I not an anomaly? I too detoxed at "an older age" and it was the single best decision I've ever made. You've come to the right place as many have walked before you and can give you many tips as well as endless support. When are you thinking of quitting? or have you begun the process? Start upping your vitamins and get some supplies handy to make you more comfortable. Be sure you have immodium, gatoraide or other juices, saltines, dry toast ginger ale, tonic water, epson salt etc. Post often and let us know your symptoms. A few days of not being well are so worth a lifetime of freedom from Dr. appt's and misery. I'll be following you and rooting you on.
That's so right....you ARE the next miracle on here! Since your life circumstances rang such a loud bell within me....you can tell I REALLY relate and many, many more of us have been exactly in the shoes you find yourself wearing. Getting off the pain meds is SO doable. I agree with OpenMind that it'd be great to tell you dr that you're done and want to get off them...see if he/she can assist.
We'll be here....you can ask anything you need to...vent, scream, laugh...we do it ALL around here. Welcome aboard!!!!!
We'll be here....you can ask anything you need to...vent, scream, laugh...we do it ALL around here. Welcome aboard!!!!!
Well I have you both beat! I'm 71. I sure can't go through it again. The first two weeks are the worst. After day 5 you should start to fee better. I'm a week short of 90 days and it's finely doing real good. (well I've got a real bad cold) I can't tell you how much better I feel. My pain level has gone down to where I just take advil. There will be days when you think it's not worth it but just hang in there, you'll be through it before you know it. God Bless
Hello friend. You're not that old, I have 7 years on you. I know what you mean about how your life has been going since the addiction happened. I felt the same way. In order of importance in my life, everything else fell below my Vicodin. Picking up a new supply was the happiest day of the month. I lost interest in everything and everyone.
The feeling of depression you describe will turn to elation. When you stop using you're not losing a friend you're aging a new way of living. Your old self is buried down in there somewhere and just waiting to come back out in the open.
You CAN turn this around u know. All it takes is willingness. Sure, you're going to have flu-like symptoms for a week or so, but you will get through this. I'd like to see you get your doctor on board in this process. Your doctor can help you in a few ways, like as an example, giving you a script for Clonidine to help with BP and sleep plus adjusting your other meds (if any) as needed. I highly suggest that you don't keep your supply route open for re-upping. In the early weeks the temptation is too great. Tell your doctor you're all done and want off of the pain pills. That's what I had to do. I went thru three detoxes and believe me, at the age of 64 thru 66, it isn't fun to keep going through this. I don't think I have any more recoveries left in me.
Congratulations on your decision to finally get your life back. We're all part of your detox team all the way. You'll find it much better to not be trying this all alone and to surround yourself in an atmosphere of recovery. All of us have been through this. You're the next miracle on here!
The feeling of depression you describe will turn to elation. When you stop using you're not losing a friend you're aging a new way of living. Your old self is buried down in there somewhere and just waiting to come back out in the open.
You CAN turn this around u know. All it takes is willingness. Sure, you're going to have flu-like symptoms for a week or so, but you will get through this. I'd like to see you get your doctor on board in this process. Your doctor can help you in a few ways, like as an example, giving you a script for Clonidine to help with BP and sleep plus adjusting your other meds (if any) as needed. I highly suggest that you don't keep your supply route open for re-upping. In the early weeks the temptation is too great. Tell your doctor you're all done and want off of the pain pills. That's what I had to do. I went thru three detoxes and believe me, at the age of 64 thru 66, it isn't fun to keep going through this. I don't think I have any more recoveries left in me.
Congratulations on your decision to finally get your life back. We're all part of your detox team all the way. You'll find it much better to not be trying this all alone and to surround yourself in an atmosphere of recovery. All of us have been through this. You're the next miracle on here!
welcome and we are here for you! I went CT 138 days ago after 10 years of abusing my pain meds! 120 Norcos and 180 tramadols a month! If I can do it so can you! I followed the Thomas Recipe and it helped me so much! You can do this and we are here for you! This site and the wonderful people on here saved my life!!!!!
Tell me if I'm wrong...but didn't you post this exact same thing a little while ago under a different forum name? Maybe I'm incorrect and going crazy but it sure does sound like a duplicate post...not that it matters...we'll help anyway we can.
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