thanks. yeah, the mental part is hell. but, i will not fail.
i have too many things to live cleanly for...most importantly, myself...
wow! Congrats on your taper!!! I tried it and couldnt do it. I was determined but mentally I was going crazy! Keep it up and hope to hear that you are clean soon.
I'm currently in the process of a taper. I did all my research on this board and on the internet.
I was initially taking 15 10/325 hydrocodone per day.
I was scared more of the emotional than the physical withdrawl symptoms. Hell, I still am.
But, a month later, I'm down to 1 pill/day!
Am I withdrawl free?
No.
I haven't really dealt much with the physical withdrawls, but the mental part has still been hell!
I initially cut from 15/day down to 8/day...
That wasn't the best idea, but I was just sick of it!
And, you know what?
I proved to myself that I could do it the next day!
Physically, I was fine, but I was a wreck mentally.
Well, since that 8/day I started cutting down to 1 pill for every 3 hours. Then, about 4 or 5 days later, I cut down to 1 pill every 4 hours...4 days later, 1 pill every 5 hours....4 days later...1 pill every 6 hours...
Then, I decided to get my body used to 5mg at a time instead of 10mg...
I cut down to 1/2 pill every 4 hours...4 days later, 1/2 pill every 5 hours...4 days, later...1/2 pill every 6 hours...
Now, I'm down to 1/2 pill every 12 hours!
I wanna just stop! But, I know that would be a bad idea! Plus, there's not 1 thing that could make me break my taper. In about a 6 week period, I haven't wavered once. Each dose I realize that I can do it. Today, I'm actually about to take 1/2 pill every 13 hours...Only 10mg per day...Down from 150/day!
Is it easy? NO! It's been tough as ****! But, I can do it! Each dose is a victory! And, you know what? Those victories can't be erased! as addicts, we have to tell ourselves that! If we relapse, it doesn't set us back at square one! We may tell ourselves that! It's an excuse to get back into it, or it's the drug making us believe that. But, there's going to be slip ups for almost all of us. We can't beat ourselves up!
Sorry to veer off topic there, but I was feeling it.
Lastly, I think exercise (running and lifting weights) and vitamins/protein/amino acids have been very helpful. If not physically, it mentally makes me feel healthier. I feel like I'm doing right for my body.
Well, wish me luck on this last week or so. I'm hoping to be officially hydrocodone free this weekend or next. I do have a very supportive girlfriend who I finally told of my problem this week. That is another thing that has helped...Support from loved ones...
Well, she's the only loved one that knows. But, she's also the closest.
Anyway, she's all ready to help me do whatever needs to be done!
Good luck to everyone else!
I hope I was able to help!