Tapering off.....not a choice

[Kuckma]

Hello everyone,

not sure u remember me....

I was convinced I could taper off just like that....
coming to find out, its not that easy!
Not sure if I can get it done, here I am faced with another refill!!!
The taper off is just not for someone like me, to be honest, coming to find out (and I am so shocked about this)
I am too hooked.

Hubby was gonna help me on this, but all it did is challenge our relationship. The last two weeks have been so tough on us. As of right now we are not even talking to each other, cause I tested his patience one time too much. I have been a real b****!
I have to do it cold turkey. Just not quiet ready for it yet. guess as long as I put it off the harder it will get.
I have been thinking different about the pills I take, there not 'my friend' anymore.

Just wanted to let you guys know 'where' I am in my quest. I'm frustrated and it is almost Christmas, don't feel very Christmassy.

[Kuckma]

I like tough love! I like it a whole lot more then trying to wrap everything up in cotton candy and no one understands at the end what you where talking about!

By now the anxiety has set in, my legs are heavy and I'm going from hot to cold every thirty min.

I'm scared off my a**, I want this cycle to stop, do I want it bad enough?

why do I tick like this? I'm so strong with everything else, well most of things.
I'm so frustrated right now.

[Ballgame]

Just do it. Stop the excuses and just do it.  Assuming you want to.

U said u wanted tough love

[ImDONENoMore]

Yes, in early withdrawal, its very normal to start questioning your decision to quit.  You're starting to think "why did I do this?  I can't do this!", right?  So just keep reading and take in as much information as you can.  As long as you know what to expect, you won't be blindsided.

Try a cold cloth for the hot/cold thing.  I would put the cold cloth on my head, or around my neck, and then take it off when the cold would kick back in.  Yes, it meant a lot of nights going back and forth with that stupid cold cloth, but it helped a lot.

And of course you're scared.  It is scary, making the decision to stop.  And believe it or not, that fear is good.  Its a constant reminder of what those horrible drugs did to you - so take that and use it as strength.  And the next emotion that helps with strength?  ANGER.  Anger at what the drugs stole from you, the lost memories that you'll never get back.  Anger was a HUGE motivator for me and kept me going.  I believe it can help you too.

Keep posting here and looking for any support you can get.  One of my biggest mistakes was thinking I didn't need help, that I could stop on my own.  I could not have been more wrong.  It is impossible to get well without support.  I mean, everyone needs help at some point in their lives, right?  So take it now where you can get it.

Have you checked out the Thomas Recipe yet?  There are a whole bunch of good suggestions in there that helped me SO much in early withdrawal.  And I still take a regular regimen of vitamins today that I also believe help so much.  Definitely worth checking it out - I believe there's a link to the recipe toward the end of the page on the right side.

Keep going - and btw, I believe you do want this bad enough or you wouldn't be here.  Listen to your instincts now.  They won't steer you wrong.  You remember those instincts, right?  The ones we used to ignore when we'd take a pill instead.

Hope you have a peaceful night and are able to get some rest.  And even if you can't actually sleep, just try to relax and read, listen to music.  Any "down time" is beneficial to your body in these early days.

I'm rooting for you!  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

[Back2Me]

Keep going you can do this! If I did it YOU can. My withdrawals are brutal and were brutal. I did this 12 days ago same as you! Read some of my old posts you can find them by clicking my name or just looking for the Detroit logo on a few pages with my posts. I went through HELL last week but is worth every drop of sweat and every chill and every panic attack and pain And fear and agony its All worth it. Just get PISSED OFF! its what did. You WILL feel better. You will be better. I still feel crappy but it's WAY better then the hell of those pills. But I'm coming around. Every day is better.  Just think of some things that **** you off about the pills and focus on that and focus on the future. You don't want to do this again trust me it gets worse each time. Just get it over with. Read my posts.

[Kuckma]

@ Ballgame yes I want it!!! I guess Im still thinking, just fill your prescription and its over with.

Since I am already at 35 hours Im gonna pull through!

@Back2Me I do not have patience to figure out how to find your old posts, but I am sure I will have a long night. So I WILL look for it later. Thank you!

My fuse is so short right now, all I want is cry. My intire legs are on fire, I feel sick, I did not tell the kids anything. Im just playing it off somehow, cant wait till they in bed.

Hubby knows, he is so happy that I am READY and is even guna take off tomorrow if I need him. Gawd I love him so much!

You guys might think this is funny, but since I started hurting, my cat follows me around and lays on me wherever I lay down. Like she is guna say "I know your not feeling well but Ima help u to get through this"

[Back2Me]

Yeah I love my dogs but to be honest withdrawals are so brutal for me I cannot even have them around. I can't have them in the bed a all because the get me all hot and if I have to move and touch them it hurts. I would have loved to have them helping me through bu I had to lock everythig out of the room for like 4-5 days at least. Anyrhing that moved hurt. Watching something move even hurt. I'm glad you are staying with this. I took klonopin pretty much round the clock for the first 4 days. It help a little bit but not much. I tried to sleep as much of it away as possible. Good luck tonight you can do it!!