Thanks to all who helped(in love with a heroin addict)

[random288]

I wanted to post, it's been a while since I have posted but I was on here back in March. I found this website on the internet while I was researching heroin.  I wrote in because I was engaged to a heroin addict who relapsed yet again and we were supposed to get married this past Saturday.....I found some great friends on here who encouraged me what a battle heroin was and how I couldn't stop him and it was in my best interest to call off the wedding.  I did exactly that and it was my hope that by doing so he would realize all he was loosing and go to rehab and shape up, things just seemed to get worse when he moved home with his parents after I kicked him out.  I fought with his parents about the fact that he needed to go to rehab and they didn't want him to go because they said he would loose his job(which he wouldn't have if he asked for leave because it's such a big company) it frustrated me so because I knew he would loose his job and possibly his life if he didn't get a handle on this.  I didn't completely cut ties with my ex because it was too hard, I was too worried about him...he kept telling me he was getting help and getting better so he could be with me...I knew in my heart he sounded awful over the phone and I knew if he didn't go to rehab and get professional help he would never even have a chance, but part of me wanted to believe the addict.  Well to all of you who are with an addict or the parent of an addict...believe what everyone tells you YOU CAN'T BELIEVE A WORD OUT OF AN ADDICTS MOUTH...not sure why it has taken me so much to get to this point, but it's all lies and the only thing they care about are their drugs and how to get them.  I just found out on the day that was supposed to be our wedding that he was fired from his jobs and there are multiple counts of theft against him from where he worked....of course my friend helped him get this job in the first place and it's his first real job, he held it for about a year which is a record for him, but his 28 so I can't imagine where he will start now...I know none of that matters unless he takes steps to get better.  He still doesn't even seem to be doing that, he is still making excuses not to go to rehab.  It's a complete complete mess.  I guess my main reason for writing is to thank everyone for telling me their stories and encouraging me not to walk down the aisle.  I still love and care for him and am sure a part of me always will, but I can't help him anymore and don't intend to go down with him.  I also want anyone who is with an addict, friend, lover, parent, child...to know that if you think they are high they are, if you think they are lieing they are...and if you think they need to go to rehab they surely do....GO WITH YOUR GUT, DON'T EVER NOT TRUST YOUR GUT...THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE XOXO

[SOCAL742]

I am so sorry you did the right thing. I was with a man before my husband we were engaged also and he lost his life for $40. .It killed me inside he had been clean and went back after  years of being clean. I still miss him every day and I dont want to scare you but imagine if you had kids with this man. After having kids now I look back and say OMG if I had kids with that man and had to tell them their father was dead for $40 what a life they would lead. Im sorry for you but you absolutly did the right thing!

[cattalina]

Thats an extremely hard situation to be in, and the decision you made is hard as well.  I was the heroin addict in my relationship, and was blessed enough to get clean before I lost my boyfriend.  I only know what it's like to be the one doing the damage, not the one dealing with it... I can't imagine how hard that side of addiction is to deal with.  But you are 100% right - I said whatever I had to say and did what I had to do to protect my addiction.  Maybe if more people were educated and aware of the disease of addiction, it would help the addicts out there who haven't been able to get clean yet.

[dominosarah]

I agree with Sad....tough situation but you made a good decision to protect yourself.  Hang in there and best of luck.........................sara

[sadinmichigan]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this but it sounds like you did the right thing..The misery that you would have living with him and heroin everyday would have been a nightmare. But I am sure this is all painful for you right now..I am sorry..thankyou for posting though..many people are in this same postion..congratulations for making a very tough but necessary decision..take care..