Helping the wife kick hydros

[shmuckels]

My wife has been on a roller coaster with hydros for a few years, going from 10+ a day down to almost nothing and getting back up to 10+ a day. Right now, she averages 10 a day. She has run her supply down and has about 15 pills left. She has begun trying to cut back but the withdrawals are right on her heels. She wants to get it under control but has a hard time with the willpower. I do what I can, but it has always been a huge stress on our marriage. I want to be there, to support her and help her through this!! She's done it before, sometimes with massive withdrawals, sometimes cold-turkey with no withdrawals to speak of. I know she has it in her to do it, but she doesn't want to hear that from me. We just found out that she is 10 weeks pregnant so right now I just need to do what I can to help her get past the withdrawals so that then she can get clean.

What are going to be ways to kick this while lessening the withdrawals? I've heard of drinking lots of water and eating fruit to help, but thats about all we know of. Help me help her, please!

Shmuckels

[Calamity2]

Good feed back ,     Waterfallsaremyfavorite

[Calamity2]

I hope you can get your wife to read a few posts here and get a account of her own.  I was addicted to opiates many years.
I was fortunate to have my son who has ds-asd and great speech challenges.

One day in the middle of biting a pill in half he said something clear as a bell. "Mom stop taking poison".  I found medhelp and got on this forum nearly 24 hours a day.  

I doubt her doctor will allow that amount of narcotics when she is pregnant.  The baby needs a clean mom.

[Rainbowsaremyfavorite]

Hi! Your wife will need to do a slow wean off of the meds. She should not do this without her ob/gyn knowing. She has a life inside of her that at this stage is very fragile. Please encourage her to tell her doctor. I can't imagine a cold turkey with that many pills a day being safe for the baby. I'm not a doctor but I do know weaning off will be easier for them both. You are an amazing and supportive husband. Get her lots of Gatorade, bananas, protein shakes, amino acids have been helping me so much (I got the chewable ones at whole foods. Cvs sells them too). Wishing the three of you much luck!

[leahlee18]

Hi there,
You sound like my husband.  He has been going through this with me as well.  I don't know what I would do without him.  Your wife is very lucky.  I know it must be so hard for the people such as you and my husband to see your wife or loved one go through all this, it's not easy that's for sure.  I know that he suppresses his feelings a lot of the time and that isn't good.  I wish that he would yell at me or talk to me but that isn't him.  However, I can tell when he is upset at me because he will snap at me for no reason or act different and that is his way of telling me he is angry but I would much rather him talk to me about it.  I am quitting next week (for the 3rd time) and again, I am so lucky I have his love and support.  Congratulations on the baby.  I hope your wife does go to the doctor and tell them what is going on so they can help get her off of this safely so that the baby does not get hurt.
Good luck!

[vicki595]

Hi there- It's great that you're so up supportive of your wife. She's fortunate. I have to tell you though, what you're both doing is dangerous for that pregnancy.

It's never a good idea to cold turkey detox when pregnant; especially in the the early months. It can cause a miscarriage in short order. I urge you to get an appt with an OB/GYN ASAP for help and advice.

She should take enough pills to keep her out of withdrawal in the meantime. Those wd's are very stressful to the fetus and can damage the nervous system as it's forming.

She has some work ahead of her. We're all here for support and advice when you need it so keep in touch.

[FeralFeline]

Since your wife is pregnant she really needs to go through this while under the care of a physician. Do you have a sobering center where you live? It's usually a 5-7 day detox, but at least she'd be under a Dr's supervision. Also, when going through withdrawals a person has a tendency to want to just lay there & suffer. However, the symptoms can be reduced greatly by being more active. The vitamin supplements listed above are very crucial. She should get a blood test done to see exactly where all of her levels are at. I completely agree with jifmoc above, she needs to be extremely honest with her ob/gyn!!!

I would definitely make an appt immediately to get her some therapy. It can take up to a month to get a screening appt & then a few weeks to start seeing a therapist. If she doesn't address the underlying issues that lead to addiction, it will make it much harder for her to stay clean. In the meantime, get her to some narcotics anonymous meetings.

Just remember this, SHE has to want to get clean & stay clean. Hopefully, because it's not all about her anymore, this will give her incentive to do what's best for her, the baby, you & your families.

Keep us posted. All of us will be praying for you, your wife & the baby.

Blessings~

[jifmoc]

Schmuckels (is that a nickname? It's funny/cute.) You are the loved one of an addict. That is more trying to you than maybe you even realize. You need to take care of yourself first (even though that seems contrary to your instinct.) Please get to an alanon meeting. You will get a new perspective on this.

Your wife needs to go to her obgyn asap and be 1000% honest. It's not just about HER needs anymore. Addiction is such a selfish disease, I feel for the family members! Listen, you've been supporting your wife in her disease and it hasn't changed, has it? For many of us, having to face the self loathing, the horrid withdrawls, the damage we've done to ourselves and others has been a wake up call. Her getting thru wds isn't the issue. It's STAYING clean that is. Like Motye said, she will need aftercare to deal w/ how to live life on life's terms w/o escaping.

You have EVERY right to be angry, scared and frustrated. Please don't stuff your feelings because you want to be a "good" spouse. Go to alanon and keep checking in here:)

[shmuckels]

I have to admit, it was a struggle in the past. I've seen her at lows that I would never wish anyone to see their loved ones go through. Withdrawals can be mean, nasty, ugly, disgusting beasts that will challenge more than just the individual. And because of how bad I had seen her, I got more frustrated and more furious when she would get back into the medicine, knowing that at some point she would be placing herself back into withdrawals. It took a lot out of me and I became a bitter, angry person filled with hatred. But then we found a new church home. We started going to our church's  "Celebrate Recovery" program and both worked on our problems. She slowed her abuse down gradually getting as low as 3-4 pills a day. But then life kicked us in the throat and she sunk into her meds, while I slowly fell back in to my anger.

We've since decided that we need to change and are actively going to start tackling our problems. I know and recognize my problems and am confident that I can control them with my own willpower. But we are concerned about her withdrawals, as we all know that even with the strongest of willpower's, its ultimately up to the body. For that reason, before they become an issue, I want to take every step I can to help her make sure that they are as small as possible and manage whatever comes.

I've read around in here a little and look forward to lending a hand with others where I can. Hopefully, between everyone else's experiences and our own, we can get her through this. And through that, we stand to provide guidance and assistance to others in need.

:) Shmuckels

[motye51]

You are doing for your wife the exact same thing my husband did for me in Jan, 2014. He totally did what he could for me (of course with working full time as well) but if I wouldn't have had his help, I'm not sure I would have made it!
Vitamins high in potassium, magnesium, and iron. Banana's, dark green vege's and lots of fish, red meat, eggs, etc... high in protein. I didn't want to eat so my husband had bought me some protein bars (like complete meal bars). I took 3/4 hot epsom salt bathes a day...it did help when I just couldn't take it anymore, the creepy crawly feelings I was getting and the sweating and chills.  At night, when the leg cramps came on, my husband bought me some really tight diabetic socks that really seemed to help if I slept in them. They were as ugly as sin, but they worked, :)
I understand your perhaps getting frustrated with doing this...and quite honestly, my w/d sucked so freakin bad I can't imagine doing it multiple times, but perhaps there's more to this than just the pills?  Once she get's the pills out of her system, what's she going to do to keep herself clean? Have ya'll discussed this?  Aftercare of some type, is a necessity to ensure that we learn how to live life without the pills.....BTW...I am a wife (20 yrs married), and mother of 4. My husband and I work together (we own an automotive repair shop).  You are not alone in this situation.....I showed my husband your post and he totally related!  Keep posting if you need any help.