MORNINGS

[joycake]

I wake up in the morning with really awful anxiety. During my addiction, the first thing I did, before even getting out of bed, was a shot of H that I had prepared the night before. Then I would walk my dogs around the block, and promptly call my dealer, to get 2 bags to last until the next morning. This has been a daily ritual for such a large portion of my memory, that the habit is carved into my brain. Any suggestions on an alternate activity to replace the ritual? I need to create a new morning activity to kick my brain out of its comfortable cycle.

This is Day 1 for me. My eyes are watering really bad, tears are just streaming down my face non stop. My sense of smell is back with a vengeance. I know you guys know what I'm talking about... don't you just wish everything - especially your body - would just smell like nothing? Sweating is not so bad, yet... I'm ready for it, and also anticipating cramps/diarrhea, chills, snot, and all the rest...

What are your mornings like? How did you learn to cope with them?

[Amandag78]

Sorry Joy i always forget the name its called " Rescue Remedy " and the brand is " Bach " dont know where i got rapid relief from

[Amandag78]

Hello joy, absolutely the ritual for me was hard to break and so staying clean was near impossible !!
I feel for you right now... Your so determined.
We think we can only be happy if we put that needle in our arm and all our problems will drift away, including our pain etc.
I could not of stopped heroin without turning to help with Subutex.
Now i wish i had of done it years ago.
Im about 100 days clean now and still am not 100 %, but im clean!!
Mornings are not a problem for me but if your very anxious i recommend you try " Rapid Relief " which is a spray for your tongue and it only consists of flowers in the ingredients.
Feel better soon Joy xx

[Spike2654]

oh girl, really feel for you, breaking the H habit and just the habit of a morning ritual is so tough...I agree with the above though, to break a habit you need to change and implement a new habit. I know the first few days of wd cold turkey I was in no physical shape to leave the house and go to a meeting...but I think one of the best options of a new habit is going to a meeting as soon as you can physically make it there. I do like that you are out walking the dogs, great exercise for the both of you, but can you start a different route without this triggering calling your dealer?
sounds like you kinda know the physical stuff that's coming, do you have the supplements and such to ease those? just sending support and good thoughts your way..

[Makani_svr]

I remember many times having to cope with changing my morning ritual to overcome the need to prepare this drug and pick up the phone for more.  One time I somehow (through all of the withdrawals) just stayed in for days reafing Dean Koontz novels... one right after the other. I was afraid to leave my house and meet up with some H. As I look back I don't even know how I was capable of even reading! Isolating was not the best thing... but I really wanted to go to any other place than obsessing over getting more of my drug.  On another occasion of attempting to get clean, I asked friends and family to get me as far away from home and my playgrounds so I had new surroundings as I attempted to brave it out cold turkey. The problem was.. the heroin was always nearby when I returned home.  I would be feeling good again, back to life, back to me.... and it would always want to take that and make me sick again. Ultimately,  the best place I detoxed was at an actual detox.. and I found new morning rituals in the rehabs I went to. When I came home.. I had been making meetings every morning for so long that it was the first place I went to. It was a new life.. a new start.

Just sharing some of my experience, and hoping you can get through this.

Makani :)

[lulu747]

Awe I totally feel for you.  The only way to change habits is to change them.  I've been clean off opiates for two years and I still get morning anxiety.  As courageous said go to a meeting or go do some crazy exercise.  But don't be alone.  Sending Support..
Lu

[VICourageous]

Why not hit a morning meeting. Try to re-direct your thinking. It does take some work to change our behaviors. I wish you the best.