Clean and not so sober

[wannawean]

I have been a member for awhile and have always appreciated the support and advise. I abused any and all opiates for almost a decade tried suboxone 3 x's? and took my last dose back in August 2010. I have not changed my addictive behavior. Now it's caffine pills, goody powder, rx'ed benzo's i just dont like or know how to be sober. aside from my addiction im a fairly smart person i understand meetings are an approach that work for many allowing for yrs of sobriety.That said I see a social wker weekly that is my meeting. speaking of the need to attend meetings does not fall on deaf ears but instead plz share some insight gained from a meeting rather than suggesting I go as they are not for me right now and quite frankly can't be the only way. Sorry if i sound bitchy, i am. im sad lost and feel good about the clean time but bad about changing what caused the addiction in the first place:(

[throwindatowl]

Meetings. Well a social worker understands you, or does he or she. In those meetings those people understand you. They are you. So when you look into eyes of people that have REALLY been there. Its different. You learn from them. You see from a real person your not alone. Ive been to a drug couselor and hated did. The judgemental eyes just really got me going. Dont know why. Yes the professional knows what to say and how to word things. They are smart. If your not an addict I dont want you telling me how not to be one. Thats what It comes down to. Thats whats great about mtgs.

dede2121. I stopped talking in mtgs and finally am learning something! Its great.

[dede2121]

the meetings work different for everyone. you take what you want and leave the rest. they keep me clean by just listening to everyone else talk. some say things that help me alot and that i can relate to and some i cant relate to. like they say at na/aa, it works if you work it. and it really does.

[wannawean]

TY, really thx

[freebird227]

I am a little confused about " changing what caused the addiction in the first place"......... So that tells me that you have some reservations about being Totally Clean, and maybe thats why you don't like 12 step programs,,, because of the accountability factor.
   I sponsored a young woman a couple of years ago and even though she had not Doctor Shopped in 18 months,,,, she had been self medicating with over the counter medicine..... She came clean with me about it and It Broke My Heart..... She had a decision to make, to continue with a " DIRTY CHIP"  in her pocket or pick up a white one. Secretly I  had hoped there would be a way to get aroung this.... perhaps she had only mistakenly taken more than she should have BUT OH NO..... She had been doing it through out the whole 18 months.... So I let her make the decision...............and I stood by her side, I went with her to talk to her children............whatever we had to do to get her back on track........... Thats why 12 step meetings work. We could have lost her to full blown addiction.
You can write your story anyway you want............Meetings, no meetings...........sponsor
no sponsor..............total abstinance.............or partial freedom...............The choice is yours and your path will reflect the choices you make.
I pray a new begining for you~~~For you to walk in......... FREEDOM FROM ADDICTION