day two....

[lilolme29]

day two for no vicodan.  It *****, no two ways about it. I feel sick, couldn't sleep lastnight couldnt sit still, didn't eat anything but my kids halloween candy.  My poor kids have to watch their mommy fall apart so I can pick myself back up again.  My husband is being super supportive today, which is a nice feeling knowing that my team mate is on my team.  I am scared to tell anyone else what I am going through since a lot of people will think I was not addicted to it, I was not the crack head my brother is / was and have not lost anything because of it.  But I feel like I have lost so much.  Somehow along the way I lost myself.  I lost the strong go get um girl I used to be.  I knew I would never be a drinker, I grew up with my dad being a drinker.... pretty much same as me will my pills.  He never was late for work, always showed up, came and did family things, he is and was a good dad. Much like me being mom.  Only he is and was a drunk, a happy drunk, a fun loving drunk but a drunk none the less.  His mom was the same, she died because she couldn't put the bottle down..... my brother has struggled his entire life with addaction, only he has lost everything and then some, his family the one he made is gone.  My neice whom I will never see again Im sure is someplace in the system, my nephew now 18 I have not seen since he was 5 my brother took him to a crack house to get his fix.....

so you see, this was not supposed to be me.  Only I guess I didn't have much going for me to not become an addict.  I quit smokin 2 years ago and a year after is when I started taking the vicodan.... I just guess it was my way to not 'feel' the things I have to.  I have so much to live for and nothing to die for.  I can't let my family ever see me like this again, I will not fall apart over drug use again ever. I pray to God that he eases the w/d I am going through and know if I can quit smoking, have 2 babies that I can and will beat this.  Hopefully I will learn to love me along the way.....

My mom, one of my best friends is addicted to pain pills (darvocet) but also has fibro, so it makes it okay-- for her anyhow.  My sister has gone through wd of pain killers....

today I feel dizzy, upset, uptight, nausa, tummy cramps, headache..... ugh this *****...

one day at a time. thanks for the support yesterday was hard

[lilolme29]

thank you everyone. I just wish I could go to sleep for a couple days after its all out of my body, but then I guess I wouldn't have to work for it and feel the total pain this is.

ugh...

[percikindoguy]

I'm right there with ya, lilolme29.  I'm on day 4.  I'm still a bit yucky and slow, but better than yesterday.  Yea, it does suck.  Maybe we'll remember how bad we're feeling now so later when we're feeling good we won't think that its ok to go back.  I had mentioned in my post recently that I would be going back to my pills when I can re-up my prescription.  But after feeling this crappy, I think I might rather quit all together and be in pain than to feel so lifeless and miserable.

If you don't need it, stay with the clean program.  What helps for me is to think always that I can't stay on these pills forever.  If you think about it, if you keep going for years taking these pills, and as your tolerance goes up, boy that could end up being a lot of pills in a day after several years.  Who would want to take such a responsibility?  You can also think about it this way, it's a chase.  As long as you keep taking the pills you won't have withdrawals or cravings.  That just ***** bones.  I think it's time for us to bite the bullet of these wds and cravings, get passed it, and realize that it just doesn't make any sense anymore.

I wish you well, because I really do know your pain.

[hmf099]

I'm so glad that you can see that emotionsl loss is just as bad as material....so many people don't realize that until they've had to go through both. I hope you realize how strong you are for making the decision to quit, that means you have all the strength you need to do it. I remember w/d's so vivedly and it's been a while since i've gone through it...maybe that's cuz i went through it 6 times :) After tomarrow it should be all up hill, maybe saturday, by sunday you'll feel 1000 times better. A supportive husband is what helps me everyday so we are very lucky to have spouses like that. You can and will get through this. I'm rooting for you.
-hillary

[desperatetostop]

I'm here with you....at work, toughing it out. Playing it like I have a cold...
no one knows except the ppl who I was getting and doing pills with. they are supportive.
I'm afraid to tell my mate, and I know I have to ...I will, but not yet.

I feel like garbage...I've got 5 more hours at work to get thru...

with the help of this site, i know i'll make it!

[Danny111]

Things will be a lot better in a few days.  Days three and sometimes four are usually the worst but after that it gets a lot better very quickly.  By day seven or eight you probably won't feel any symptoms and if you still do they will be gone within a couple more days.

You just have to keep reminding yourself that you've already gotten the first part over with.  Very shortly you'll have the worst behind you.  

You can do it.

[tooklastdose]

Hang in there several others are on the same day you are.  You can all get through this first week together.