Welp...got 4-41/2 hrs of sleep.....Day 11

[hiding288]

It is eaaaaarly morning right now.  I will lay back down.  But Just wanted to say,.....I believe Im starting to feel better.  SSSSSShhh, Im still scared to say it to loud.   (smiles)  But it suuure is an AMAZING feeling!  Those 11 days felt like 11 YEARS!  Im serious!  But its TRUE,....to everyone struggling, seems like you cant see it getting better.......THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!  I want, and NEED you to know, I thought I was in the lowest, and worst shape mentally that anyone on here, I didnt think anyone truly understood how dark it was for me.....Honest to God!  I seriously thought I was going to have to check myself into the psych ward, or something close to it.  I couldnt take it, but didnt know what to do at the same time.  

I must tell you,  All I could do was keep praying, and fighting into the blind, and believing that the Lord would bring me outta this thang, somehow, someway.  It was so bad for me that, I swear......Im still scared to keep speaking on it too much, Im scared the good feeling might leave or something. (smiles)  So SSSSSShhhh, I dont wanna say it too loud, but I am feeling better!, So you just got to keep believing, praying, and fighting, you will DEFINITELY rise up, and out of the **** that these pills have put you in.  I understand that it seems Totally hopeless right now, I was just right there in them shoes...I promise.  I just wanted to die.  But today.....11 days later, I do feel better, and I thought I would never feel this way again.  God is good.   Well, thats enough for now, Im hopeing that this feeling will stay with me, and I keep doing what Im suppose to do, and not using, that it will only get better.....and better.....and better.......and on, and on, and on.   SSSSSShhhh dont say it so loud.  God Bless you all.  Today is a new day, hang in there, keep fighting, you are digging your wayoutta that dark hole, into the light!!!  Ill post later today.

[ready4mylifeback]

thanks hiding for the reminder... i have been reading the book of Job in the Bible it reminds me of that the devil is testing my faith and perserverence in God and i KNOW where i stand God is saying ok u can test her but u can't harm her just like w Job.. not that i am anywhere close to being like Job lol.. my husband and i have just started a ministry going out into parks and hosting events w free food handing out Bibles, giving testimony's praying for people and on and on we had shirts made and everything and our church is backing us up and supporting and joining in soo much so as we know whenever we r about to do something big in our lives make a breakthrough and lead people to Christ the devil starts shaking.. so i KNOW he is tryin got keep me down but i also know he has NO power only suggestion GOD has all the power i will get through this with the help of God i know it is hard yes but we have sooo many trials we go through we just need to fix our eyes on the unseen and not the seen and eternity in heaven someday this will all be a blink of a eye to us:) thanks again i am gonna keep reading your post because u like me and some others on here look to God for strength and i  really need that!!!!

[InNeed88]

Reading these posts right now just helped me more than you guys can ever know. I'm sitting here like a baby just crying cause of how awful i feel.I feel so stupid but i cant stop, It's like letting everything out that i've held in for years. It's been so hard for me not to break down and take a pill ..For many reasons 1 being i want this feeling to go away and also yesterday was the 2 year anniversay of my grandmas death and that was really hard on me.
But seeing this positive knowing that there is that light at the end of this dark tunnel we get our self into. I know both God and my Grandma are really watching over me right now, But times like this is seems helpless. Thank you so much for posting these positive things.

[hiding288]

It is real nice to hear that I am helping others with my story.  Just know, the words I speak are real & from my heart.  Ready4mylifeback, this 3rd time around for me, I kept slippin to, I do didnt know what day I was on, I kept saying I was 5 days ahead, mainly because I wanted to be there, but you best believe my body told me..........NOPE.........that is not what day you are on!  (smiles) Im sure Satan got a laugh outta that......yup...watching me suffer.  Listen to me,.....whatever day you are on.......you keep praying....and believing, long as you do that, and do the things you should to take care of yourself thru this withdrawal, just wait on the Lord.  because in the midst of your storms, he will show up, and show out!!! He will deliver you again. It was soooooooo hard for me to see that in the fire of withdrawal, but even tho I was soo sooo sooo suffering physically, & mentally, I told God that I QUIT!, He didnt let me! (smiles)

Im not going to bragg about it, but because I am feeling better today, and I can see the light today.........God just showed Satan that he CANNOT have me, and I am his child, and he loves me, and does not want me to suffer.  So he is bringing me out.  Honey.....just keep telling yourself that no matter whatever it is we are going thru.....IM COMIN OUT!!  It will sneak up on you, just like the pills did....keep fighting........You will break free!!

[ready4mylifeback]

WTG!!! thanks for that post it REALLY helped me as i am struggling my butt off.. i am a total and complete believer in Christ and i KNOW that HE will help us through this it is NOT his willf or his children to be in bondage of ANYTHING.. that is the devil keeping us down... i was clean for over 3 trs so i KNOW it gets better it was the best 3 yrs of our life during that time we had 2 babies (after struggling for over 5 yrs and the dr's saying we can't GOD said different!!!) i had to go on them shrot term a few months ago for some surgical procedures and of coarse got hooked right back on them:( this is REALL hard but doable i know... congrats on getting your life back and sticking it out.. please pray for me as i am having a heck of a time relapsed on day 2 and am back at square one AGAIN... i don't even know what day i am on lol i keep slipping:( i AM doing this i don't care what it takes!!! thanks again for your post it really was inspiring!!!

[krissy326]

WHOO HOO I like what im reading!! God is so good and can get us through this LIE the devil is tryin make us believe. We are more than this life he tries to make us believe we are stuck in!! Start striving to live the life God meant for us to live...

[buncogirl003]

Way to have a great attitude hiding!!

Keep it up....it gets some much better!

Hope you are back in bed!!