When will I feel normal again?

[hopeless1976]

Me and my husband are both addicted to Roxycodone. We have both decided to quit cold turkey. He has a legitimate script but since we both abuse them..(he takes about 10 a day and I take about 4-5 a day) his script always runs out early and then we are left calling people to find them or any kind of opiate for that matter..vicodin, norco, lortab, percs, oxy's..anything. We have 3 children at home also. We both feel like we can not function without them. The first thing we do when we wake up is pop pills so that we can function. I feel worthless without them. Well... we decided to quit together and be each others support system, this is not easy for 2 pill junkies. We took our last pills on Friday morning when we woke up..which was Jan. 2nd. The withdrawal symptoms had already started to set in by Friday evening. The worst part is the leg pain, which is unbearable. One thing that did help the leg pain is icy hot and ben gay. The next unbearable symptom is insomnia. We both have jobs and can not function without sleep. Today is day 3 for us. Day 2 was the worst so far. I cried all day with the feeling of hopelessness. Again, the leg pain and insomnia are horrible. I have a friend that brought over a xanax and that helped me sleep. Today is day 3, its almost 10am and my hubby finally fell asleep for the first time in 3 days at 7am. I sat and rubbed his feet which put him to sleep. Im sorry this is so long, but I just want to know.. when will I feel like myself again, when will I have energy again( I feel like it takes everything out of me just to walk to the bathroom). I WANT to do this. I can get pills anytime and I DONT want them, I just want this horrible pain and depression and fatigue to go away. Like I said, this is day 3 1/2 for us.. are we starting to get over the worst of it yet? When will we have our own energy back, when will we be able to sleep? I'm starting to lose hope.

[lovemypillhead]

Great job deciding to get clean.  The withdrawls are the easy part!  Staying clean is the hard part.

I think though it will be awesome for u to get clean if he is getting clean, too. I cannot imagine if u were trying to get clean and he was still doing pills....

U want to do it cold turkey, right?  There is the Thomas Recipe....ever heard of that?  It is all home, natural remedies....vitamins...things like that to ease the wd process.  It is here on medhelp.  

There are TONS of people on here with massive withdrawl horror stories.  I am sure you will get  alot of awesome advice!

[disFUNctional]

Stick with it sweetie.  By day 4 I had more energy.  I was taking way more than you.  Dont get me wrong.  It will come slow but the energy will come.  I am only at day 7 and by day 5 I was up doin normal things.  It was hard but just push yourself.  You guys have to do it for the kids.  I am gonna do a post on something yesterday that opened my eyes wide you have to read it.
Love,
Kim

[hopeless1976]

Thank you for that response, that really gives me hope that I may be able to start functioning again. I called into work today, said that I had the flu and I think I might tomorrow too. I just want to get up and clean the house and quit lying to my kids(they think we have the flu..what a joke). we are definitely pushing ourselves to this. 5 years on this opiate devil has cost us so much money. I am just scared that I dont even remember what it feels like to be "normal" and clean. And congrats to you for day 7.. that seems so far away right now but I hope and pray that everyday gets easier.

[disFUNctional]

I have chills as I read that, we could be the same person.  I know EXACTLY how you feel.  It will get better IF you stick with it.
Talk to me anytime
Love,
Kim

[hopeless1976]

I plan on sticking with it..i should say..WE plan on sticking with it. I just can't wait to have my own energy again. Not to have to take a pill for everything I do..My thinking was.."clean the house..take a pill, go to work...take a pill, take the kids to do something..take a pill" etc...
I have very strong will power. I used to smoke crack and do cocaine in my 20's before I had kids and there was one day when I said "screw this ****, Im never touching it again" and that was a breeze compared to this devil..opiates are pure evil. My mind tells me..Im done but the physical pain is another thing. I just wish it was all mental but its not. I dont know if you smoke pot but Ive read on the forums that a lot of people said that helped them, considering that I havent ate ANYTHING in 3 days because of the nausea. i still have the leg pain, which drives me insane, but it is better today. The anxiety kicked in today, my heart is racing. I was considering getting an energy drink to help me get up and do something, but the way my heart is racing, I think it would give me a heart attack..lol.
Thanks for your encouragement and good luck to you too. I have seen people on here that were taking 50 80mg oxy's a day and quit so if they can do it, me and my hubby surely can :)

[disFUNctional]

I have heard that the pot can make the anxiety worse so be careful.  I did coke wayyyyy back when too.  It was easy to quit compared to this.  I finally ate something on day 4 and it helped.  Eat oatmeal or cream of wheat.  It is easy on the tummy and will give you the energy.  I would stay away from energy drinks but that is just me.  Good luck sweetie and keep posting.
Love,
Kim

[GabbersMommy22]

Congrats on your progress! Day 3 really is a huge accomplishment! I also was taking 6-10 roxicodone per day. The first 2-4 days were the hardest then by day 5 I did have my energy back. I also have two small children at home (ages 4 and 7 months) that was by far the hardest part was not feeling well and not hardly having the energy to do anything! I know from expirience although my hubby didnt use with me, HE was by far my biggest support system. Just keep in mind YOU WILL feel much better soon! Life is SOOOO much better after the WDs are over. It is so nice to have steady moods and energy without having to depend on pills. I would be weary about taking too many of the xanax they also can be addicting. I know a few things that really helped me was hot baths, eat a bunch of banannas, it will help not only with the leg cramps but the diarea as well. At night I took Advil PM or Tylenol PM I think advil pm works a little better with the leg cramps and it will help you sleep. Just remember hun the WDs ARE TEMPORARY. Life is so much better once they are over! Keep up the good work and keep comming on here and posting. Everyone on here is so helpful. I dont know what I would have done without everyone here.

[yelsea]

Don't take xanex to help yourself get off pills! Dope sick *****, and depending on how much you did for how long, it varies, but I have never heard it lasting over a week, usually around 4 to 5 days, so you're almost there. For your body and your mind to fully recover though, it will take two years. You won't be dope sick for two years, but the damage we do to our heads and bodies takes a good minute. It's awesome that you are sticking to it though, even though you are so sick. That is very admirable. Especially since you have kids. My brother is doing some **** in his house that I don't think is very healthy for his children to witness. I'm glad you aren't going to let that happen. Roxys were the hardest opiate for me to put down, and the sickness *****, but focus on how much you will gain by going through this pain. You will be better parents, better people in general. Keep it up! You never have to use again.

[hopeless1976]

Thank you for your response. Yes, this forum gives me so much hope. I don't feel so alone in this evil battle. I can't wait for day 5, then 10, then 20, then forever!! I just want the normal clean me to be back. I think back to 5 years ago when I was clean..well, I smoked a joint here and there with friends..but clean from pills, I had never touched them in my life at that point, and I remember I really liked myself, I was happy, I was able to enjoy things. I am excited for the future for me and my hubby( i worry a little more about him, his habit is higher than mine and will power weaker than mine, but I'm helping him and he's helping me) And if I can ask you..How long have you been clean?

[GabbersMommy22]

Dont focus on the fact it can take two years for your mind to heal. As every addict deals with you will have moments that you will have cravings, but im at day 39 and life is good. You sound very head strong and determined. You can get through this. Just take it one day at a time! Dont focus on the whole 2 year thing!

[hopeless1976]

Yeah, the whole 2 years thing made me gasp for air for a minute..lol. I know if i can beat these withdrawals, then I can beat anything. This has truely been one of the toughest things I've ever done. And just to think, I gave birth to 2 kids with no drugs..talk about pain..lol. Me and my hubby have our minds set not to let this demon run our lives anymore. I'm proud of both of us for even making it this far. I won't lie, on day one of withdrawals, I called my connection to get "just a few to get by" but luckily she was not home and never called me back. Hubby called and cancelled his doc appt for the 12th. and I called my 2 street connections early this morning and left voice mails telling them to please not call us because we getting clean. WE CAN DO THIS!!!  I want to thank you guys and this forum, it gives me so much hope for the future.

[GabbersMommy22]

Well I know when I was going through WD's the whole 2 year comment would have drove me over the edge. I can assure you really it is going to get better! At day 39 of course I still think about it, and there have been a few times where I thought about getting some. But I didnt and I wont. Really it hasnt been that hard to stay clean for me. I work and have two kids at home so I am busy. That helps im sure. Just focus on one day at a time and remember you are so close to the WDs being over. Just keep moving forward and take your life back........ life is so much better once the WDs are over. Good luck and God bless!

[juxt]

A couple of years ago I would have laughed at anyone getting hooked on "amateur" opiates like oxyc, dhc, etc but having a bit more experience of hell in a strip I realise addiction is all relative and hell is hell whichever way you look at it.
I should explain Ive been a heroin addict for about 10 years ish on and off and at my worst ive gone 20 days without sleep and probably gone coldt. 20 - 30 times.
All I really wanted to say was be carefull around day 4 - 5 when you will start to feel better ( honestly you will ), its easy to slip back into it, I know your thinking theres no way thats going to happen after all youve been through but its all to easy to be determined 23.75 hours of the day and slip for a few min when your feeling a bit better.

[hopeless1976]

Well, it's day 4 for me and I have to say, I feel MUCH better today. I did have to take some over the counter sleeping pills to sleep but I went to bed at about 10 and did not wake up til 7. My leg pain seems to be gone. I did wake up with a killer headache but thats probably normal considering what I am putting my body through. I was ready to give up yesterday because of the leg pain but I stuck it out. I feel like I might be able to do a few things around the house today. Thank god the kids go back to school today..lol  I called into work again though but I think I might go back to work tomorrow. THANK YOU to EVERYONE on here, you all have given me support and hope that I can do this.

[worried878]

congrats on ur clean time..3 days is great!  the fatigue was my worst enemy but i was at twice ur dose..it was close to 3 months by the time my energy had returned to normal on a daily basis..2 months for sure..exercise and the amino acids helped me/tyrosine especially..at this point i was willing to try anything and it worked for me...it take 3 months for the brain to heal enuf to help battle the depression and fatigue for many..not all and we are all different...hence the AAs motto of 90 meetings in 90 days...and after that it is still work to do to stay clean...hang tight as the intense part is almost over for u

[hopeless1976]

I am kinda outta sorts because of the sleeping pills, they have me in this weird daze right now..but I can handle that compared to no sleep, ya know. I've also quit drinking soda while going through the w/d's and only been drinking 100% juice. It has lots of vitamins and potassium, which I think is helping with my leg pain. And a friend came over yesterday and did my dishes and made me some chamomile tea, which really helped with the anxiety feeling. There are lots of little things that I think are helping. I'm also taking lots of vitamins, drinking lots of liquids, and trying just to walk around the house here and there. I'll tell you, just laying around in bed made me feel much worse. Even if you just get up and sit in a chair it will make you feel better. I'm ALMOST over the w/d's..thank god...and I have the will power to stay clean. Because I'll tell you what, there is no way in hell that I will use again and have to go through these w/d's ever again in my life, the high just simply is not worth the pain.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Wal Mart and many drug stores carry a product called Hylands Restful Legs that has gotten good reviews for RLS symptoms.........those symptoms can hang around a while...

[hopeless1976]

Yeah, I picked some of that up, those are the ones that you disolve under your tongue right? I tried that last night..I dont know if I have RLS or just actual leg pain or a combination. I know that my legs ache terribly and it seems that I can't stretch them enough. But I took 3 of those last night and rubbed extra strength ben gay all over my legs( its mainly the front of my thighs and back of my calves) and took a few sleeping pills and I actually got 9 hours of sleep. I think sleep is a huge healer in the w/d's, it's just so hard to sleep without taking some kind of sleeping pill. I'm over the worst physical pain now..at least I hope I am, it seems that I feel much better today. I just want this anxiety to go away. Think it's time to go make some chamomile tea, thats the only thing that has helped with the anxiety.

[Dave2824]

Hey Hopeless1976,
Jesus, I get chills reading what you are saying....I too have a habit that is so big I am embarrassed to say- I really am! I salute you for your clean days- I dont know how you are doing it but you are. Have you considered reaching out to a program or anything?
I really do feel for you and believe me when I say this - I can honestly say that even though I dont know who you are- you or your husband- but I can honestly say that I care about you both. I care about you because I KNOW what you are feeling- atleast in the capacity of withdrawing.
Have you considered what you would do if your husband fell back and did it? Would you? I dont know if getting clean with your spouse makes it easier or harder- but eventually the day that he can  get another refill will come-= What if he does refill it? Please dont think that I am trying to be negative or cruel. I am just asking this because it could happen and getting clean is an individual thing - But the cool thing of marriage is being able to share your problems and help each other with them and thru them. But that still doesnt take away from the fact that getting clean is individual- I wish you luck and strength- I also dont think that there is anything wrong (in my opinion) with taking something for anxiety- atleast for a short time. But it would be advisable to do it legitamately from a Dr even though its easier to self medicate. I am just throwing these things out there to keep in mind and not to judge or to bring you down at all!
Good luck and God bless!

[liscamdave]

Did I read that right, did you say above that Oxy Contin are an "Amateur" opiate???

[hopeless1976]

Well, day 4 1/2 and I'm going insane. I want that feeling back. I want to pick up that phone and just get some pills. I have no energy, this is just making me miserable. I know if I get pills, I will have to start all over. I've made it this far, I know I can do this... but there is that little demon inside me telling me I need my roxy's to function. I am getting really scared.

[worried878]

know the feeling..melting into the couch is an awful feeling as i am an on the go type person...i would have to do rocket shots to get to work everyday..i even thought about if i got fired i wouldnt care cos i was soooooo tired..but i made it and kept my job..sometimes i dont know how i did it!  now i totally have no desire for caffeine anymore which is strange..not that i was ever a huge coffee drinker but now i dont even drink it at all...just lost my taste for it but still have a diet coke every now and then

moving helps..getting up and moving i mean...walking, working out, yoga, whatever activity i could do..even cleaning out a closet would help me...it was hard to get up but once i did i felt so much better....

i had the opposite problem as many have insomnia during wds and after..i had some sorta sleeping sickness..slept like 12 hours a day..it was ridiculous and i started feeling like i didnt have a life..my friends missed me and other than work and things i had to do..i did nothing it seemed...one day..at about 2 months clean i studied the thomas recipe and took everything as directed in the recommended amounts and started going to the gym daily..i have always worked out but i had let it slide due to lack of energy....i had all the aminos and stuff but did not take near as much as the recipe calls for...and that is when i discovered i must be dopamine deficient cos the tyrosine helped me so much..i know some people say that the recipe is a pile of poop but i swear it helped me...do everything u can to make it thru this phase as it will pass..but it took a while for me..good luck to u and keep posting

[feelingblue222]

You have come too far.  You are where I wish I was right now.  You are days away from turning the corner.  Please stay strong and do not get more pills.  You will not even feel that good about the high from pills as you will be guilty.  Think about how great you will feel on day 7, 10 etc.  You can do this.  Do not let the mind tricks play with you.

[Dave2824]

Hang in there! Are you feeling anxiety? I seriously would consider going to your Dr and telling him about this.  Even if he prescribes something for you , he will keep it temporary - and whatever it is that he prescribes ( Xanax, Klonopin, Lorazapam etc) it is better to take that for a short while than putting yourself at risk of going back to the opiates!
Try it.  What could it possibly hurt?