What can this disease cost you?

[GA Guy]

I'm a frequent NA/AA goer...and I constantly hear people talk about the things that they lose to this addiction. Tonight, I was reminded of that ultimate price. A dear friend, the guy that gave me my 30 day chip, and a brother in NA (we shared the same sponsor) lost his life to this disease tonight. After a year or so clean, he decided he hadn't had enough, and paid the ultimate price. Tonight, I'm mad, angry, and ultimately saddened that someone died from something that was treatable. I constantly have to fight back anger and frustration on these forums from people that refuse aftercare and take a flip attitude towards this disease. I am here tonight to tell you that if you do not get aftercare, and keep treating this disease, then you will pay an ultimate price. The readings of NA tells us that all this disease leads to is jails, institutions, and death. It's all true. Please, get into aftercare. I'm tired of seeing people get to 30 days and thinking they have this thing beat...only to relapse. I'm tired of people thinking as soon as detox over they're "through with this addiction". And, above all, I'm tired of losing friends.

[lurker86]

I used to teach in the inner city. I had to attend several funerals, where my students died from drugs. Several others died from bullets. Yea...*****...

Great post. If just one person quits from reading it, then he is giving back on this website.

[Tab57]

I am sorry to hear about your friend.

Great points in your post. Like anyhting you have to work at something to get results. Recovery is an on going process and not a one stop shopping event. Nobody is ever cured of addictions as the temptations are always there. We must constantly battle the demons of addiction and after care programs such as NA and AA are very effective in helping addicst in their recovery efforts.

[cleanmom]

Right on Ga Guy! I am saddened to hear about the loss of your friend and brother in NA. You know what to do though, and just keep on doing all of those right things. Do them for yourself and in honor of your dear friend/brother. It frightens me as well when people say and think this can be done without any aftercare. I see a substance abuse counselor every tuesday morning. I attend the addiction recovery group evey wednesday evening at my church, and i attend and NA recovery group on monday mornings and saturday nights that is held at my local hospital. Without these things i would never make it very far. This is a great post and hope everyone hear will take it to heart because it will save their lives. May God Bless you Ga Guy and may your friend rest in peace. Keep up the great work your do for yourself and everyone here!!!

Luv, Jacky

[Skidmore]

Sorry for your loss .However we know how important aftercare is. I go to AA/Na and have 79 days clean today.From my own experiences I know ,I dont have all the answers ,and I need help.I do get great support from my recovery groups.I use many people from two fellowships and it seems to work for me.I also know how vigilant must be,to maintain my sobriety.

[merrymaria]

i m so sorry to read about your friend...the only thing i can say is that addiction is a disease we have to fight everyday...24/7 for the rest of our days....we are never cured of this disease.....only recovered....may God bless you...maria

[refusingbondage]

So very sorry for your loss.  Its such a hard thing to admit to a newly realized addict but its the only truth.  People find it frustrating (to say the least) to think that this is a life time battle.  But once you accept that as truth, the fight gets easier.  

[merrymaria]

your last sentence says it all.....maria :)

[Htownnofrown]

I've been clean/sober for 330 days. Over that period of time, I've seen 4 people I had met in the program and had come to love, pass away. 2 by overdose, 2 by suicide after using. Addiction is a real MF sometimes. What I find in those times (and in general) is that it is very important to stay close to gratitude. Even though all I may see one day is disappointment or even death, I still have so much to be greatful for.

When those things happened I think a lot of things. First and foremost, no matter how bad it might sound to someone who doesn't fully understand addiction; I'm glad it wasn't me. All it would take would be one relapse for me, and the possibility of death is right there. When you slam heroin or down 30 norcos at a time as I did for quite some time, death is a constant possibility. I can see how cunning, baffling, and powerful addiction is through the relapse and even death of other addicts.

A well known saying: Smart men learn from their mistakes; Wise men learn from others mistakes. I look at what the person was doing wrong in their recovery. Did they stop going to meetings? Did they stop (or never start) working the steps? Did they go back to old places and people? Most of the time it is one or a combination of these things that leads to relapse, so I just make sure not to do any of them.

It's always sad to see a friend go. Sorry for your loss, hope you feel better.

[gizzy32]

Ive had 2 friends die from drugs and the third was shot dead with a shotgun over a coke deal gone bad and it's just not right. The night I almost lost my life during my overdose is the night I woke up and decided I have had enough and got some help, but some dont' make it out of this alive:( I am so sorry to hear about your friend, that is so sad, it didn't have to be that way.

Good post GA guy, I get frustrated too sometimes now reading some posts, but I also remember being where many newcomers here are and trying to accept I was an addict and what I needed to do to beat this, I thought I could do it alone but I was wrong. All we can do here is share our experience and hope they listen to the advice.  I relapsed so many times, but I do know when we are finally ready to surrender and ask for help, the healing will begin:) Your right, aftercare is so important. I know your post will help many here and sorry again about your friend ugggg.

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude so sorry to here about your friend loosing the battle ...life su@#s sometime
I have been around drugs a good part of my life and have had the repercussions of addiction hit first hand more then once....I got to tell 3 kids under the age of 10 that mommy and daddy where never coming home...we where baby sitters to some close friends and they got killed when he hit a phone pole on the way home from a rock concert....I once hosted an acid party ... went pritty well till one of the people that tried it for the first time went home and blew his head off ....my own son revived me once when I layed slumped over a computer not breathing...addiction comes at a high cost
it has come close to taking my life on several occasions and I to have dead friends because of it....if your just getting clean we cannot stress aftercare enough sometimes you dont get a second chance so work the one you have been given
good post Ga Guy hopefully it will open some eyes and ears....my God bless you in your time of morning ........Gnarly    

[kajama]

Sorry to hear about your friend.  Sadly I thought the same thing not too long ago.  After I detoxed I though it was over. I kept thinking why are you still considered an addict if you haven't used for months. I just recently started going to groups thanks to alot of people on here. So reading this has definitly opened my eyes and ears so thanks alot

[beck25752003]

i just wanted to say so sorry for your loss. i so feel alot of the above post and really cant add to it. just shows how ugly this disease is and the work has to continue for the rest of are lives. god bless you and all fighting this disease

[avisg]

Ga I am sorry for your loss and you are right this is an on going disease that needs on going  Care just stopping your DOC is not going to do it you need lots of care

[Addict63]

Very sorry for your loss. Your post is right to the point when you write: " I am here tonight to tell you that if you do not get aftercare, and keep treating this disease, then you will pay an ultimate price."

You and I hear this during the opening of each of our meetings in our parts of the country, but I'll share for other readers. On page 15 of our NA book are the 3 realizations:

Our lives are at stake. We found that by putting recovery first, the program works. We faced three disturbing realizations:
1) We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable.
2) Although we are not responsible for our disease, we are responsible for our recovery.
3) We can no longer blame people, places and things for our addiction. We must face our problems and our feelings.

I have NA/AA meetings all over the metropolitan area I can go to.  In AA I have my home group of friends, and meetings we've all gone to for many years. We lost one of our friends about 2 months ago. Couple years ago he was injured on his job and the pain clinic started him on opiates for pain. Eventually he went out on them. Total relapse. He never came back to us regardless of our efforts. At the time I, too, was on "pain management", and really enjoying the buzz. My friend's death immediately helped me make MY disturbing realizations. So I stopped, and I'm learning to live with my pain, without drugs, and going to NA. At our meetings instead of a slip or a relapse we call it a "process".

  
    

[vicki595]

I'm sorry to hear this...very sad.
It does pound the point home that recovery is an on going process. I,too,get frustrated
with folks who are needing "help" just to get to the next refill but I also know what a bear this disease is...We can never be cavalier in our attitude toward our own addiction. It doesn't stop with the last pill or drink...it's a work in progress forever.

When I first read this post,I thought..."There, for the grace of God,go I..."
It's a chilling reminder that we must always keep our guard up and utilize the resources available to us.
Thanks for sharing...
Vicki

[j34]

Thanks for sharing your pain as you know by going to 12 step programs pain shared is pain lessened,true this disease is deadly that is why at a  moment of silence i remember my last using day ......god bless you and your family ..just for today

[freedom007]

Gay Guy...I am sorry for your loss.  I always respect your opinions and you are a very valued member of this forum.  You tell the truth...and are very serious because you have seen where this disease can take people...to the ultimate end.

Keep doing what your doing..you are saving people every day with your caring, sincere and honest words of advice and encouragement.

I hope you find some peace with all of this soon.


~ Free

[Trying_hard19]

I went to NA tonight and was told that a fella who had been attending for years died yesterday.. He went back out and overdosed the first night..

Apparently he hooked up with some old friends with big habits and he died..

When I read your post Ga Guy, I wondered if we lived in the same town..  I did not know this fella well, I am 54 days clean.. but there where few dry eyes in the room..

I am really sorry for your loss Ga Guy.. Its bizarre to come home from a meeting where this death was announced, and then read this post..  

Its a real reality check .

[GA Guy]

Thanks for all the responses guys and gals. I was hoping this post would drive home the fact that this disease will ultimately lead to death if not treated. And, it has to be treated daily for life. Things get easier, but only if you put the work in. Those of you detoxing or at 30, 60, 90+ days who haven't gotten into aftercare yet....listen to me..the demons in your head, that little guy talking in your ear, that gnawing in the pit of your stomach...will NOT go away or silence until you get to the root of your addiction through aftercare. Listen to those before you who have given you their wisdom..and in some cases, their lives..so that you can get into recovery.

[OIFMc09]

You are so right man. If you are a hardcore addict there's no way you can make it without NA and the like.  But even though I know it, I still can't bring myself to go.  It's like I make these half as*ed attempts all the time just to fail over and over and over again.  What did it for you?  What finally convinced you that you were through?

[GA Guy]

A very tall cherry tree that almost met my head through the front of my car. The last thing you lost, or the very next thing you could lose, has to be more important than the drugs. For me, it was my life. If you go to NA meetings long enough, the miracle will happen. I went to 80-90 meetings in 90 days and it still took me a few months to start getting it. Just go. Get involved. Save your life.

[moonshyne777]

I lost my mom to addiction, I know all too well that the end of this road is death. Insane is that I started taking opiates a year ago and now addicted I have struggled to get and stay clean. I had almost a month in and relapsed. Depression and anxiety were horrible. I went to a few NA meetings but getting to them is a challenge. Most times I couldn't get anyone to watch my two tots so I could go. The lack of support and depression paved the rd to relapse. Now I have to detox yet again and try and figure out how I can do a proper aftercare program with fuckall for support. I might also see a therapist to help me deal with the root causes of my addiction of which there are many. I don't understand what it means to suurender. Could you explain that concept? I stopped going to NA because when I relapsed and was honest and told them I had screwed up all of a sudden it was like I grew an extra head. Nobody would talk to me, well a couple did but I felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I never went back. It's the same reason why I don't post a whole lot on here anymore. I'm still using and trying to get the guts to give detox and recovery another try. But I know I have to do it. If not an early grave waits for me and I refuse to leave my kids motherless because I know how bad it hurts to lose a mom to this evil addiction. For now I lurk for the most part but in the next few weeks I'm setting myself up to try again and I hope your all there to help me through. I'm very sorry for your loss ga guy and I can tell you are really hurting. Hopefully someone else will read this and it will sink in how important aftercare is and I'm praying that God sends me a helper to watch my kids so I can get to those meetings or therapist or some form of aftercare because God knows I need it.