What to Look for in a Sponsor?

[loveandlight05]

What should I look for in a sponsor? I was given several names of people who are eligible to sponsor me. I really liked one of the women names Haley. I text her a few times asking about last nights meeting. I think I was really just kind of feeling her out. I want to make the right choice because I want to be successful. She had said that she was going to be at the meeting last night, so I was going to ask her to be my sponsor then. But she text me right before the meeting and said she was't going to be there.

This is silly, but I went to the wrong location at first. I realized it was at an alternate location, but the website for the group did not have the alternate location on it. So I text Haley and asked if she knew where the meeting was. Long story short, I found it with the help of my husband because he had the paper schedule I had left at home. But she never text back. It made me feel like maybe I should ask someone else. What do you all think? Are my expectations too high? Should I just call someone and ask them?

[dominosarah]

I didnt get a sponsor right away.  I wanted to make sure she could walk the walk also.

[loveandlight05]

I feel the exact same way. I hate letting people know what is going on with me especially when it is bad. But I know that what I am doing right now isn't working. I am talking to my mom mainly, but she doesn't understand, and it stresses her out. It is especially hard when you are going through legal stuff. You aren't supposed to talk to anyone about that, so I vent to the people who already know, but they don't want to talk about it all of the time. And they don't understand.

I believe that is what your sponsor is for: to listen. The more I read the big book, the more excited I get about having a sponsor lead me through it. It all makes so much sense. With every chapter, I am like yes, I get it.

[Ejm7263]

I just kept going to meetings. The 2nd meeting I was in I heard a women who sounded like me. She kept showing up in the same meetings I was in. I took it as a sign. We're starting step 4 now.
It's ok to change if you get the wrong one. You will both know it. Also practice calling a few of those numbers you have. I don't like letting people in. I don't like telling anyone what's really going on with me. The good or bad. So if your like me practice now. Then when you really need someone the call the phone doesn't weigh more than you can lift.
So proud of you, really:-)

[loveandlight05]

Thanks. That's what I was thinking, but I felt pressure to get a sponsor sooner than later. I can't do 90 in 90 because of my babies, but I wish I could. I need a sponsor who will understand my limitation with having two little ones that are only one year old.

[motye51]

Just my personal opinion....wait a few days, weeks, go to different mtgs. I found different women go to different mtgs. I waited about 4/5 weeks, listened to many different women before i found one i thought would work for me. I would say wait and meet some of the ladies first....i mean get to know them a bit first. Just b/c were addicts doesnt always mean its a good fit. When you meet her, you'll know.  I just see so many women change sponsers within the first 3 months b/c they took the first available women. Do the 90/90 and stay afterwards for coffee and talk with them. I would also look for someone with serious clean time...90 days, to me, is not serious clean time. 5 years or more. My sponser has 24 yrs clean, so obviously something worked for her! Take your time...."choose wisely my son"..... :)