Whats your definition of being clean??

[avisg]

I think alot of people have there own definition .What is yours ?

****  feel free to debate it  if you choose just do not use this post to bash others feelings. Posts of that nature will be removed ***

[leeisgettingclean]

I feel that being clean means...."being free of UNNESSARY UNPRESCRIBED mind//mood changing  substance" Also, I feel that reult of being clean and a nessary part of staying clean is "living a honest, accountable life and being a helpful part of socaity"

[stilltrying1965]

Thank you also pharma. I feel happy again as i need to take them my doctor wont let me stop them and i have to take another drug aswell for my eszures buut cant spell it Thanks pharma. ,,,,,James

[stilltrying1965]

Avis Sara That means coz i dont abuse them im clean thats right eh.As i get them for sezures thats ok im still clean. If so im feeling happy again Thanks girls.,,,,,,,James

[avisg]

James you take it for sezuires .
Plus that was the point be view clean diffrently and thats ok .

[pharma9]

You ARE clean James.Your valium is prescribed and needed in your case and I call that clean
My definition of clean is living a life without any unprescribed prescription drugs or taking illegal substances and the prescribed drugs should be used as prescribed and not abused.
For most of us that means complete abstinence from opiates and stimulants and tranquilizers because we can not control ourselves,but some people really need them and do not abuse them.
I do not think all drugs should be avoided because I still take tylenol and ibuprofen and they are drugs and I drink 3 glasses of wine a week.
I consider that OK and think I am living a clean life

[dominosarah]

James, you have a medical reason to be on Valium.  Look what happens when you dont take it.  Dont get down on yourself......keep counting those days!!!!!!!         sara

[stilltrying1965]

I thought i was clean but only from heroin as i get 60mg of valium per day to control my seziures this is all a bit dissapointing for me Oh well you learn somthing new everyday ,,,,James

[dominosarah]

Until you get yourself into some sort of recovery program these panic attacks will continue at the severity you report.  Im not saying you wont still have them but i bet they would be significantly reduced.  You cant keep just going thru the motions here........sara

[troubleinohio]

wow 70 xanax...it is a miracle youre alive for sure! Im so glad you are still with us! As for my xanax intake- I have weaned down from what i was taking. For awhile i was RX'd to take 1-2 MG a day. THe most I ever took in one day was 1 mg (and that was when that harrassment/threats were going on where my children and self were being threatened daily to be shot dead or house burnt down and I was a basketcase). Now the past 2 months or so, Ive been taking only .25 per dose, usually just twice a day so thats .5 or 1/2 mg a day. Some days its as much as .75 per day but thats it. A few times I made it on just one quarter of a pill a day (.25 mg / per 24 hrs) so I think Im doing pretty good. Im just not ready to jump off entirely at this time for many reasons (#1 reason is my panic attacks are still quite severe and frequent).   btw, the nutcase who's been threatening us still has not been caught by the police but his calls have at least dwindled down significantly, thank god!)

[Skidmore]

To me being clean means all mood alterating drugs of any sort shape or form.I have not drank since july93 Shot dope used cocaine,smoked pot used benzos,termazapan,diazipan qualudes tuinal,seconal,angel dust,zanex,methadone.However I started taking vicoden in 2005 as needed for pain.I have gotten pretty busted up hitting a street sander in a head on collision.While shooting shooting dope.I can justify use of as needed meds as well as anyone on this site.Today I believe for me all controlled substance and alcohol,Is not being clean,Weather its pain anxiety,panic attac or sleeping disorder or soboxin methedone or any other substance,It is peeing dirty.I am trying to be true to myself to pee clean and live clean.To thy own self be true.I love all you guys and gals and dont want to offend anyone

[narla]

yes avisg I am finally able to enjoy being clean,I have gone through counselling for the other stuff I was dealing with and can now lead a happy life without the alcohol and opiates.My counsellor will always be just a phone call away if I need him,including aftercare for my addiction.

Denise

[gnarly_1]

for me being clean is being free from chasing the "high" and being dependent on opiates in my case ...but thew out life there has been different vises for me in my teens and 20 it was pot and alcohol but there was also a time that LSD became a problem..in my early 20 I got off chemicals and then only used pot and alcohol till 26 then I abstained till 30 then I started on pain pills that ran till I was 38 then I added back the pot and alcohol to the mix then the methadone....I have spent a good part of my life chasing the buzz but have also quit things along the way...this last march marked 5yrs for me with pot and alcohol and now I got 185days off the methadone 3yrs off the cigs my last vise will be my bipolar meds..I very well may need to stay on these or risk going into a manic episode (insane) or sever depression or my favorite (not) both at the same time...it su##s to live with this disorder ....its probably why I self medicated most of my life...most of these meds I don't think you could get high on if you wanted to they dont work that way....when there working you don't even know your on them..its only when im approaching a manic episode or going into a bad depression that the my phyc dr has to adjust them at all and she has proven to know what she is doing over the 7yrs she has treated me...I have been hospitalized twice in 7yrs both times for manic episodes so the deseise is real and very frighting no one like to think there insane I don't like the fact that I have to be on medication but it beats the alternative ...some day I hope to be medication free but for right now thats just not possible what is possible is I no longer chase the "high" or the "buzz" I am sober I could pass a drug test the drugs I take now are just like b/p meds you dont even know your on them but the do have a profound use they keep me sane this is the best I can do under the current circumstances ...good luck to all on there road to sobriety ...what ever that looks like to you....Gnarly                

[merrymaria]

being clean for me means waking up every morning and not heading to the medicine cabinet for a bottle of pills....it means not taking any mind altering substances ever...NONE...i do smoke cigs though if that counts....maria

[Ali1226172]

I love this post, it just keeps going on, and on lol.  It's true what avisg has said.  We are all entitled to our own opions, and although we may have different opions we can all learn from each other.

To Kris123:  You are doing great, getting off our choice of drug is very very hard so if you need subtex while your still recovering than that's awesome that you are self-aware, and know what works for you.  I also need subtex to help me in my recovery, mainly because it will stop me from using with it's opiate blocking chemicals.  Also I too feel "normal" on the low dose of subtex right now, and I hope soon I will feel "normal" still when I feel strong enough to get off the subtex :)  I don't think anyone is here to judge anyone.  It's all about being self-aware, and making choices that lead to sobriety/health/happiness.  We just all have to be aware of our addictions, and make sure we are careful not to get wrapped up in a new one.  
Also To Narla: Congrats on all that time clean, stay on your zoloft that's a wonderful antidepressant :) Don't stop abrubtly those suicidal feelings can occur or ya could even have a seizure so stay on the meds as PERSCRIBED :)
Now to you Jebs: First off thank god for the angels who were looking over you :)  and, pain pills are the devil they literally take over our minds causing us to do things we would never do otherwise.  I know xanex can be a dangerous drug if abused and I heard the withdrawals can be nasty.  However, some people who take xanex excatly as perscribed may benifit wonderfully from it.  I think it's all about making sure we do our research, after all it's OUR bodies we are feeding with these drugs.  Also I think it's a bit unfair to blame the xanex for that terrible situation.  I mean if you took 70 advil it would be just as bad..It was probably more of the pain pills that ignited that addict in you and than i'm sure taking the xanex only made it worse.  I'm just happy you are ok, and are getting clean :)  I'll be here fighting with ya!

*GoodNight All* Keep posting your opinions I love learning more about everyones story, and It's good for us all to share different opinions with respect, and an open mind.. who knows what we might learn :)

[Bad_Obsession]

I think Jebs said it best...for me anyways:  "To me....being clean is feeling like I used before taking that first pill.  It means smiling because I'm happy.....not because I have a full bottle of pills.  It means doing the laundry and errands because it needs to be done.....not because I'm popping pills and have endless energy.  
Clean to me means that I haven't done anything today that I have to feel guilty about. "

[Jebs317]

Thank you....it was scary.  Scarier now that I think about it with a clear head.  I didn't even know I was taking the xanax let alone taking 70.  
Thanks!  It feels good to write this stuff and "get it out"...

[avisg]

Jebs that is so scary. I am so gald you made it threw .You learned from it but that was a scary lesson .

[Jebs317]

I don't think you understand how dangerous xanax is.  I was prescribed it for panic.  It did help with that, but I didn't really understand the danger of this drug.  I was taking it while abusing pain pills....which now that I think back, I was probably giving myself panic because I was taking so many pain pills.  I took xanax for a month or so and then just figured I didn't need it, so I stopped.  It was worse than withdrawals from vicodina and percocet.  I talked to my PCP at the time.....and her advice....keep taking it.  So I did.  I don't know why or how, but the xanax gave me a 4 day black out.  My ex boyfr found me passed out on the bedroom floor and I spent 4 days in the hospital from a xanax overdose.  Don't remember ANY of it.....but with the date on the bottle,he and the doctor figured out that I took 70 within 36 hours.  I'm pretty sure, I should have been dead.  I got out of the hospital Sunday night and by Monday morning was on my way to a hospital detox for the opiates.
I abused opiates.....I made a conscious decision day after day to make sure I had at least 8 -10 vic or perc to take.   I knew what they were, I knew why I took them.  But, I had no idea what xanax was all about.  This is just one of the things on my long list of stupid and unthinkable things that I did while high on pills.  I can pretty much guess that if I wasn't taking pills.....I wouldn't have even needed to ask for "something for panic."

[avisg]

narla you have done a great job are u enjoying it more now i know you were struggling in the beginning

[narla]

I'm pleased to find out zoloft is not considered mind altering,now I can truly consider myself clean,I have worked so hard to be clean,238 days

[kris123]

For me being clean is being off my drug of choice, which is percocet.  I am taking subutex, but I consider my clean even though I am taking that.  Lots of people take drugs to be "normal."  Look at depressed people they take antidepressants to help them to be happy and normal - are they drug addicts because they need that drug - I dont' think so.  Am I not clean because I am taking subutex, I don't think so.  I am bipolar and need my bipolar meds, I have to take them, I consider subutex on the same level as my bipolar meds, without them, I wouldn't be normal.  Being clean to me is not abusing drugs. Since I don't abuse my subutex or my bipolar meds, I am consider myself clean.  Some may disagree, but I don't care :)

[dominosarah]

Stay on your meds you are on and keep doing what you have been.  You are doing great girl~~~~~~sara

[avisg]

no dont stop taking your zoloft u are fine on it

[GA Guy]

Zoloft is considered safe for addicts and is not considered a mood altering drug by addiction specialists. I think the words "mood altering" can be very misleading, because antidepressants are mood altering by their very definition. However, the difference between antidepressants and benzos is the abuse potential and tolerance issues.