Why Does the Sandman Hate Me So?

[Chels44]

I just can't sleep! I just want to sleep! Make it stop! For the love of God make it stoppppp (then goes huddles in the corner and ***** thumb, begins to rock back and forth ) - that's my brain right now.... I can handle some things but this stuff needs to stop NOW. We're goin on 26 hrs here people. O.o    -__-
While the Sandman sprinkles dust in everyone else eyes, I feel he just blows a giant f@rt in my direction and walks on without looking back. Yeah I know, beautiful freaking metaphor right? But that's how I feel!!!
Now before you start in on me; I -know- that insomnia last some time. I -get- that this is just how it goes, I've done my research and seen enough of you talk about it.
My questions is this; is there anyone amoung you out of the sea of us unlucky people that can give positive feedback on -when- sleep returns??? Is there hope or am I just destined to be this way forever? Also, when do the freakishly weird dreams stop when I do sleep? 2 nights ago I couldn't figure out for the life of me why Robert Downey Jr. was talking me into a battle with Aliens. Even in my dream I was pretty certain I didn't want to do that. Couldn't we just talk this out?........Turns out my deaf husband had the Tv cranked up in the living room and was watching Iron Man. I now have an unexplainable hatred for Iron Man...
Night before last, weird, but not that bad. Last night having dreams about a male employee becoming pregnant. I was present for some of the labor in the business bathroom and kept trying to talk the girl with me out of delivering it; "This isn't delivering puppies. This is a human. Plus there is no hole for it to come out of. This is going to take some thing I can't do.  I'm pretty sure this is out of our league." Her argument was we could untwist the belly button. I told her that was dumb - repeatedly.
HELP
Your insomniac, slightly mad friend,
Chels

[Cricketk92]

Just listened to the song and it was great!  "This is not the end of me, just the beginning"  Hurray for new beginnings!!!!  We are all in the right place at the right time!  Thanks for sharing that!!!  :)

[Chels44]

Well I lied. I still not coherent enough to directly respond to other people. I'm just exhausted. Today has been beautiful tragedy for me. Luckily, I did hold my cr@p together( were talkin outside here),  cleaned (definitely more than I thought I would), did laundry and played with my kid. I also laid sprawled on the floor belting out songs for 2 hrs. I was kind surprised not to hear someone screaming shut up every time a song ended. I waited, but it never happened. Lol. I guess that good. I found a pretty great one called 'I Believe by Christina Perri'. I think anyone going through this, no matter what stage, can relate wholeheartedly to all the lyrics. I don't even care if she's talking about addiction, I can morph it in to fit my needs. Wte works, right? Anyway, if anyone is interested or bored here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/53CNJnmFr5I?autoplay=1

It gives hope. Let me know if you like it.

[refills]

Laughing in the face of adversity is a great way to keep your mind sane, yet when the night comes it's not so funny. Tomorrow is day 100 for me and sleep is still not a given. BUT!.... Sleep has returned to a degree. Don't know your medical history or if you have a doctor to turn to but I would say to find one if you don't. Right now your brain is mad at you and is having it's way with you. Simply I suggest getting more help for sleep. Like never explained, there are safe sleep aids out there. Build yourself a team you trust and be prepared to change directions when or if you feel the need. Recovery is hard enough with help. I would think, for me at least, nearly impossible without it. Sleep will get better for you Chels when your mind is at ease. Feeling bad for you and hoping tonight brings you rest. Good Luck to you.

[Krissy_123]

Lmfao oh chels I wish you had been posting since day 1. I really could have used your humour through this! I'm so glad you are able to have some of them emotions back. After being on the pills for 11 years I don't know if my natural endorphins will ever come back? I'm sure of course they will,but right now it doesn't feel like it.

[Chels44]

Half way through the day. My mind and body are at war it seems. My body is going "You've got this. It's all good. Listen to music and move a bit. Stop if you hurt." Then my mind says "You are out of your d@mn mind woman! This sh!t is happening and it is -very- real. Oh, you want to take me off something after 5 yrs?! How's that and that...and take that creepy hobo twitch for good measure. That should make serious conversations pretty freakin interesting! Just start talking to yourself, then it'll be legit." And undoubtedly he says all this to me while pouting in the corner. That little b@stard has been giving me the evil eye all day and getting on my last nerve. We're in a death stare and I'm about to beat his @SS!
And there's a life in day 17 with Chels! Lol. ;)
We've got to laugh. If we don't then what else do we have? For the longest time I really thought I  couldn't be happy anymore. This was just how it was going to be - I didn't realized how they so completely rob you of your emotions. Now I love to laugh. It's about the only time I feel normal throughout this process.
I'm really happy so many people like my craziness. Bc us poor souls are a special brand of crazy aren't we? ;)
Ugh. I know ill get through this. Just having a rough day - as you can tell. Lol.  
Yes! Right on the money there! Why do they tell people this?! I just don't get it. It's wrong. You should get some sort of rebate "If it doesn't work in 7 days, one free $50 dinner for you and party on behalf of us all for misleading you!" until, of course, you realize that it's for a meal you can't eat, and that thing expires in two days. Yup...seems abt right. I'm really disappointed in western medicine. I was cheering for those jerks and they scr€wed me over. I feel like they used a giant hand in the sky to wave a shinny pill at us and we followed it in droves with big eyes and mouths wide open like turkeys.
Oh that silly government. They got us again! (Hits knee) Shucks, don't do that again, okay guys? Yeah...I'm sure you'll follow through on that....

At it again guys, better get off for a min. Ill be sure to respond to everyone's questions next time I post. You know, when I can focus for more than 5 seconds. Thanks for the support. Very, very much appreciated.
See you soon,
Chels

[luvdolphins58]

I absolutely love your humor. Definitely made me Lol.
Back in April when i detox i didn't sleep for i think 70 hrs than if i closed eyes for a minute my body took on rls but full body. It gets better. Unfortunately there is no time table. But i can say don't listen to effen Dr when comes to detox. At least the one i had. I was told if you take as prescribed for legit pain won't be addicted or dependent. After 5 yrs i quit ct. Wow that joke was on me. You get the idea. Good luck all

[Krissy_123]

Hahahaha yes jifmoc and chels,I remember months ago when I asked my doctor if I could just quit my pills all together and how long I'd be sick. He said "around 3-5 days. But why would you want too"?? I think unless your doctor is or ever has been an addict he doesn't know ****!! They should say that's "unknown" and "it depends,it's different for all ppl". But nope they just read you their lies out of their txt books!!

[jifmoc]

Good Lord, my spelling...I meant at the end, ACCEPT it.

[jifmoc]

OMG...total freakin hilarity!!! You make feel like doggie poo but you made me lol... so thank you for that!

One of my pet addiction peeves is the first IDIOT whoever stated detox takes about 5 to 7 days. I read that one a long time ago, and counted on that at the time. Hmmm, maybe I'll write a blog that says "detox takes 15 minimum to feel remotely human." I digress. But I agree that assessment is so wrong. Yup at 17 days the sandman is gonna pretty much ignore you. Are you getting SOME sleep? Like 3 or 4 hours? If so, that's about normal. Even on the 30 day mark we are still technically detoxing. So, please please change your expectations: you won't get "normal" sleep right now. It will come in increments. Can't give you a date but it will. Insomnia blows chunks but it won't kill you as they say. So maybe (don't hurl) except it? For now. Just for now. It will change.

Keep posting that great angry sarcasm...lol!

[Chels44]

Meeeehhhhhh......(extra slow motion). Do any of you know that picture of the slightly deranged broken down owl with coffee in its hand? That's me right now sans the coffee bc Heaven forbid I drink any caffeine. We're staying up for DAYS then! God help me...lol. I got abt 3 hrs of sleep. We're now on day 17 of detox from Norco (6 a day 10mg, 5 years). Right now Im pretty p!ssed off that people told me this would only take 7 days. I was a champ the first 7 days. But then came day 8 and it didn't stop. LIES!!!! -Lies- I tell you!!! Don't get me wrong; I'm not dealing with the kill-me-now diarrhea, sweats, chills or any of that fun stuff. There's still some of those but not as bad. Now Im dealing with those whispering a-hole effects like no sleep, no appetite, wanting to do things but is rather die than get up, fluctuating emotions, and those extra special kind of nightmare dreams. In edition I get these weird body twitches. So glad I could add that creepy hobo vibe to my list. I almost missed that one! Yay me!
I just want it to END.
In good news, this only deepens my will to get off these stupid things. I mean it's a d@mn inch pill I'm freaking out about? Wait.... An inch pill did this to me?!?! Yeah, that's where Im at today. Fun times up in here....

I'm glad you guys found my rant funny. It's the only way I know how to deal with this now. Make fun of it. If I don't laugh I know ill just start crying.   Lol. So just enjoy the insanity. I apologize in advance. ;)
Extra Hugs,
Chels

[NeverAgain127]

Oh honey, you made me laugh!!   Have you talked to your physician about non-narcotic sleep aids?  

[ScarrieAnne]

Krissy is my fellow insomniac friend, we are always up at the same time talking about sleep! So now we can have a mad trio of insomniacs! Youre post was pretty funny, humor is helpful at this time! Krissy hope you are well. XOXO C.

[ScarrieAnne]

The sandman hates me too, I mustve of REALLY pi**ed him off, Im 44 days off suboxone and haven't slept more than 4 to 6 hours.and that's a good night! The first two weeks I was lucky if I slept 15 minutes a night. It would help if you told me what you are detoxing from, how long you were taking it, and how long you've been clean. Ive detoxed off many things, so I may be able to give you some positive feedback. As my therapist told me and I tell myself this everyday, you will not die from lack of sleep, your body sleeps when it needs to, and the worst thing that could happen is you will be tired and uncomfortable the next day, but try to power nap. I take Super Snooze, you can get it at CVS plus 2 melatonin 5mg gummies at bedtime and I fall asleep fast, it really works, even on this hellacious long and drawn out withdrawal.Youre going to be okay, everyone is supportive here and nice, this has been my lifeline, listen to the people that have made it through, they really know what they are talking about! Keep me posted! XOXO Carrie Anne

[Krissy_123]

Haha I'm sorry to laugh. But some of the things you said were pretty funny. I actually "lol'd". But in reality I know it's not funny,and I feel for you. I am in the same boat. It's 2:30am and I'm still awake. Don't get me wrong I'm tired as heck,but I can't and haven't slept either. :-/ and when I do get the bit of sleep my dreams are so messed up it's scary....at least you're not dreaming about the drugs. I've dreamed of my little blue pills to many times to count in the last 19 days. I wake sweating and shaking. I'm ok after a few minutes. But ya I sure miss sleeping 8-9 hrs a night. So I'm up if you ever need to chat through the night. You're not alone! xox