Feeling really bad

[Pat1956100]

I don't know why I am feeling so bad and now having anxiety so soon.  I know day 1 was nothing like this when I went through it a few weeks ago.
How am I going to make it to day 3 when I am falling apart on day 1?

[NowOrNever43]

Pat,
I know what your going thru, my anxiety is on the uppity up and it usually start kicking in for atleast 24 hours into detox. This has not been a walk in the park ( which by the way I can't wait to do sober!) I just hope it gets better minute by minute

[Dixiechick72]

Just try and stay strong and stay busy. I'm starting day 2 and so far I'm doing ok. I'm staying hydrated eating and getting support... So hang in there. This will get better!!! ;)

[Pat1956100]

Maybe I will try and eat something and see if that helps.  I haven't really eaten in 2 days and I'm going on no sleep again.  I am just so surprised it hit me so hard and so fast.  

[akitagurl12]

please just keep reminding yourself that it was those pills that have done this to you and taking anymore will not make it go away, it will just keep u in this state forever.  I am not really a big tv watcher & i remember i couldn't really focus on reading books in the beginning, but music & listening to audio books u can download from the internet helped keep me distracted. Try not to worry about day 3.  Maybe it will be easier, who knows.  Just focus on getting through today.  This will be the LAST time you will ever have to go thru this.  Keep posting, it will be over soon!!

[Dixiechick72]

Yes. I got lots of great tips to eat snacks and stuff all day long... And stay hydrated. U can do this... We can do this.... Stay strong

[akitagurl12]

"Secretly Detoxing" :)

[Pat1956100]

I don't want to take any rotten pills.  I just panicked when I felt so bad, so soon.  I thought this would be easier because I knew what to expect and I didn't expect that.  I am just so afraid right now.  I don't want to cave in.  I can't go through this ever again.  
I am really emotional this time too and I wasn't before.  I guess every time is different.  I am just glad this is happening in the daytime instead of the middle of the night.  
lol @ secretly detoxing.  I just need a filing cabinet.

[akitagurl12]

lol, why do u need a filing cabinet?  to throw out the window?

[Pat1956100]

That was my vision.  Someone at work secretly detoxing, hiding behind a filing cabinet.

[rizboy]

Valerian root seems to be working for me im on day 11 sub free no anxiety to report.music works good too.hang tight mate

[dominosarah]

Dont worry about day 3, just stay in today.  You are getting yourself all worked up so take some deep breaths, maybe take a bath, turn on some music, just try to relax a bit.  You can do this Pat, i know you can~~

[Dixiechick72]

Lol ok.. Too funny... And pat hope ur feeling a little better... Just stay focused on today and getting through it. U don't need pills anymore. You'll be better off when this is done!!!@ Akita very cool you're detoxing too... That's awesome!! Keep up the good work. Well all get through this

[Pat1956100]

I want this so bad and I'm not turning back.  I just feel so terrible and so emotional.  I don't think I cried at all since I began this and I am just a mess today.  
Thanks for the great advice. It does give me strength.

[dominosarah]

Let yourself feel the emotions.  It is okay to cry.  We numbed ourselves up for so long we forgot that we could actually feel.  You will get thru this~~

[Pat1956100]

No, Akita isn't detoxing.  She is just trying to make me laugh.  She has tons of clean time.
She was referring to a comment someone made when we were helping another lady through this nightmare.

[Pat1956100]

Hey akita,
What is the website for the audio books?

[akitagurl12]

audible books... One that really took my mind off everything which was entertaining & enlightening was called THE SHACK by William P.Young.  It was awesome. I never read/listened to a book like that before.
@dixie i somehow got through the detox, THANK GOD, and all I can say is I was not as cool as Pat & other people on here when i did it. My dog couldn't even stand me.  lol  Not having to go thru that again is the only thing that keeps me from taking a pill most days.

[selfinduced]

Pat, Hang in there. This will pass. The depression *****. Cry your heart out, in a few days you won't be able to make those tear come to surface no matter how many onions you peel. Just go with what is happening, embrace it (fighting does crap), and know tomorrow will be better. Support and prays are a flying! xo

[jusmejen]

Pat, toooo funny. Iam still laughing about that filing cabinet. Chin up and get this **** beat once and for all. 25 days for.me already. Feeling awesome, you can too!

[jusmejen]

Pat, toooo funny. Iam still laughing about that filing cabinet. Chin up and get this **** beat once and for all. 25 days for.me already. Feeling awesome, you can too!

[minn66]

Ah yes, I too was a secret detoxer at work! ;) I used the bathroom to do my secret detoxing a lot!

I am so sorry you're feeling so crappy, Pat. I also know it is hard to eat when you feel so bad and anxious. Do you have some broth and crackers? When I am anxious and my stomach is a mess I either eat that or grits. If you can't get grits or don't like them, maybe some Cream of Wheat or oatmeal. I'm rooting for you and sending hugs and prayers and support.

[Pat1956100]

It just came on so fast and I guess I wasn't prepared.  I did phone in a script for ativan. It's only .5 mg. and I only have 36 left on it.  The panic attacks do me in so I am going to be prepared this time.  I hope they deliver it before the next one hits.  I just want to be clean so bad and I don't want anything to prevent me from that.
The melatonin and stress ease aren't working.  I am feeling a little better now.  Hopefully can get some crackers today.  
I am so glad that this forum is here.  

[Stacy_Lynn]

Hang in there girl, you got this! Don't worry about tomorrow just today, even if it's minute to minute!! Thinking of u & sending love & prayers! Stacy

[Pat1956100]

Thanks so much.  You are all so sweet and just what I needed.
Major anxiety but I didn't want to take any percs for it.  I just posted.
I knew someone would help and you all did.
It's so easy for me to give advice but hard to take it.
I was really freaking out.
I felt bad because I phoned my mother and broke down in tears.  She doesn't know I relapsed and she was telling me how proud she was of me and how strong I was.
I can't tell her because she just doesn't need to worry about it.  She is 85.
I hate lying and one of the greatest things about quitting pills is not having to lie anymore.  I just told her I was having a bad day.  
All the more reason for me to never take another pill.