Anxiety aggravating Insomnia or Insomnia aggravating Anxiety

[Mrsrob822]

Well this is night 3 of no sleep during the night and constant panic. I have always had sparatic panic and anxiety issues. But it seems like everything is coming to a head. I'll give you a brief history. I am the daughter of a bipolar mother and clinically depressed grandmother. I have dealt with bouts of depression, but thank God, no signs of bipolar.
I can usually handle my depression issues without the need for medical intervention. I've only had to get help for depression once when I was a teen. My family dr. prescibed me an antidepressant at 17 and sent me along my way with no education or support. Big mistake, I flushed them and vowed never to take them again, after my depression worsened and I was seconds away from commiting suicide. I'm 30 now and have been okay without antidepressants since.
But my anxiety is a whole nother situation. I had a bad bout of anxiety attacks for about a year after my husband and I both lost our jobs and I began to deal gerd and gallblatter issues. After my gallblatter was removed, my anxiety eased greatly. 1 year panic attack free. And pretty good sleep regimen.

Well now to the present. On April 15 of this year I got a call in the middle of the night saying that my mom passed away. I handled things pretty well. Got through the funeral and immediate greiving process pretty well. Went back to work 2 weeks later ( work from home), My husband finally started working again, all was pretty well. I have allowed myself to grieve my mother naturally. I have a lot of moments of sadness, but no real depression issues.Things started to downward spiral when I noticed that started having random family reaching out to call and wanting to come by, The thought of having to talk to family, automatically sent me into panic. My mother's younger brother and nephew (my younger cousin) came to town and the thought of interacting sent me into a constant panic and worry state. I began to hate the thought of my family calling, and i started to dodge calls. Most think that because of my work hours that I just don't have time to talk.
Then my husbands job required he started alternating working the night shift. I was already having trouble sleeping due to the fact that I work from 1:45 - 10:15pm, up until a week or 2 ago I was working in my bedroom And at night is when I tend to miss my mom the most. Now I'm up all night.

Well 2 nights ago the full blown panic attacks have begun. My neighbors and I are very close, my aunt's home which is 2 doors down caught on fire a month ago. they are currently in a rental. Well one of my other older neighbors came screaming at my window at 4am, because she saw an intruder trying to climb in there window. I immediately  went into a panic attack and could barely call the police. Then last night, at 4am I cot another 4am call. The repo man came into my yard and attempted to repossess my car. He was in my gated off yard illegally, and threatened me. Luckily my neighbor came out and we called the police they almost came to blows because the guy was ruthless, and rude the police came and told him he was breaking the law and he left quickly.  My husband had to come home because I couldn't calm down. I had just that day made payment arrangements and they hadn't pulled the order to repo.

Here I am tonight 5 am. Shaking, afraid waiting for something to go wrong. I have a dr.'s appt in the morning. If anyone actually reads my long drawn out story, Any advice?

[laurel453]

Sure :).. my therapist always tell me that my anxiety feeds with my fears not with my reality, we deal with reality, you have dealt quite well with it. Things will be better. MrsRob ... All the best !!

[Mrsrob822]

Thanks...in the midst of my panic last night, I posted to the wrong forum. I went to the dr. today. So hopefully things will be better soon.

[laurel453]

Hi, welcome here !

I understand you are not having problems with abuse substance but with anxiety and panic attacks, right ?

I am sure the people at the anxiety forum would help you better than us but i have my experience with it and you know that waiting for the worst to happen, will  increase our anxiety now... You have dealt quite well with everything that has happened in your life lately, MrsRob.. don't wait for the worse but repeat to yourself the positive that you have done and that whatever happens, you will deal with it one way or the other... try to calm down now. I know it is easier said than done but try it, deep breaths and so..