Worn Out!!!!

[amity_76]

Well im all worn out, lost my hubby today, really may be a blessing don't know. all I know is I need off this pain med merry go round, I am so tired I look drained . I need this job tomorrow for so many reasons not even funny, loosing my furniture tomorrow cause he didnt even pay bill , the one bill he has and didnt do it , and just found out .... well sittin on floor tomorrow,  yippeeeee...least i got a floor right? anyway today was not my best, there are a lot of caring people out there and to each and everyone of you that took the time to read my post and comment with your support and suggestions , I just want you to know you all mean a lot to me, and I know one day I will be counting down my clean days along with so many of you. Very down and depressed as I'm scared of tomorrow and what my future may or may not bring. anyway im babbling but hey that is something im very good at lol....

[Newlife58]

You get to decide when you are at the bottom is it today or do you want to go  a while and see how ugly the bottom can get. Today could seam like a great day in your future if you continue down the pill road. I hope you decide you have had enough. I quit as I started to hurt the people I loved I couldnt stand lying and manipulating them anymore. Was it easy no was it worth it absolutely. You can not believe how much better my life is now. If you want your life back its your for the taking. You just have to want it and never look back. Every move you make is to get you better the rest of the world can go on without you for a while. I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep posting and reading

[amity_76]

The Interview was intense omg.... but now its a waiting game, I really need this ,and I honestly think if I get this job it would help me in so many ways. I am at home now changed into my comfy clotehes , feel like crying very down, didn t get married for this, or get hooked on my meds, scared of the W/D... i have done it before and it was so bad, im scared of my life right now

[ang_811]

let us know how everyting goes for ya today. thinking about ya.

[dominosarah]

How did the interview go?

[mentalmary]

i just gotta share this..i left my abusive ex of ten years ..he was attacking me i ran out the door in my bloody ripped clothes...i went to the police they said they would arrest me too...its called a 24 hour cool off period..so i just left leaving everything even my car (got it back a month later).....i had no clothes nothing i rented a room for 350 a month and slept on the floor ..got clothes from family and charity  ...and i can remember laying on the floor at night relieved ..because noone was gonna come in and abuse me in any way ever again.......my point is  the fact that you have stood up for yourself has got to feel good even ....if you dont have a couch right now .hehe  :}   you will get another

[NoMore81410]

You are in my prayers and I noticed when I was going through my detox everything seemed to be falling apart right in front of me. I was about to lose my job- they turned the our water off- my husband and I were constantly fighting and well the list went on and on. As I look back at it today- Satan was really wanting me to give in to his lies by "Oh take this pill and it will all go away" only to find out you will be in a worst situation down the road. Stay strong through this and I promise you will get your life back and blessings will come your way!
Praying for you!

[ang_811]

sorry to hear of all of this, learn to let go and let God. i know u want ur life back u have to fight and fight hard, it will get so much better for u. especially since u wont be tied to the pills anymore and they wont be controlling u no longer,  i promise it will b so worth it in the end. i know its hard but try and turn the negatives into positives.
maybe look nto some addiction counseling. its the best money i have ever spent n my life.
good luck and keep posting,
check ur message inbox! : )

[amity_76]

Thank you all for all the wonderful things and words of strength and wisdom and courgage, I am getting ready to get off these dam evil pills, and I know u will all be there, it means so much thanks alot and god bless you all xoxo

[Cissy373]

Hon you are what's important if hubby left then thats his problem. Sorry to hear about losing the furniture but your more important than furniture and I pray you know that.

Please know I am praying for you and hang in there ok. Praying for that job interview today as well.

Cissy

[gnarly_1]

HI i been following your story from the start also been posting to you....I sent you a message so when you get a chance check your e/mail....I really feel for your situation but instead of looking at it as a loss look at it as a new beginning....he wasent treating you very well in the first place and it sounds like its been going on a wile....my daughter has been in an abusive relationship for quite some time witch just climaxed the last 2 days where it became physical police where called and people went to jail...so you cut your looses wile your ahead as for your addiction it sounds to me like your fed up enough with it to quit now it just a mater of putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with it...I noticed from one of your post your thinking of asking for professional help......there is no shame in that if you think you need it as a forum we support rehabs 100% and have several members with significant clean time that have taken that rout if not were awfully good at the do it yourself detox with the help of the forum we will support you in what ever you decide to do...the main thing here is to get you off the pill merry go round and get you healthy to take care of your kids its going to be up to you and your going to need to be clean and sober to do it where here for you and will help all we can but in the end it will be up to you to do the work...I just want to encourage you to do this for you
you will have your self respect back take your life back and just know it is so so worth it when all is said and done good luck and God bless......Gnarly      

[bmdad]

The sooner you decide to put the pills down for good, the sooner you can get on with your life and enjoy it. I know that nobody will quit until they are ready but you are! The other day in one of your posts you said that you use to be able to deal with things better. I can almost tell you this as a fact....the reason you use to deal with things better is because you weren't relying on a pill to cover them up. You dealt with the issues as they came instead of letting all of this stuff build up until you can't take it anymore. Once so many build up you can't hide them with a pill any longer and you have to end up dealing with them. It is so much easier dealing with some stressful here and there instead of a whole handful of them at once. You have to stop taking a pill due to your emotions. There are always gonna be stressful situations in life and the best way to get off of the pills is to learn how to handle them. You handled them in the past so you can handle them now.
You said you're scared of tomorrow because of what your future may or may not bring. Most of our future we can control. What we can't control is out of our hands and you have to learn to accept that. Once you accept it you will no longer have to take a pill when something doesn't turn out the way you think it should.
You have it in you to start the process towards sobriety. We all do. You need to get a plan in place, pick a day, and start the process towards freedom. Most of your stressful situations in life will not be so stressful once you start dealing with them head on. I know you suffer from physical pain. So do I and so do many others. But from reading your posts I would say that 95% of the reason you are taking them is for emotional reasons and 5% for you pain. I'm not saying your physical pain is nonexistent because I know it's not. But there are many other ways to deal with the pain. Go to your doctor. Ask to try one of the many prescription strength non narcotic pain meds. Ask about physical therapy or water therapy. There is even accupunture which does help some. Once you are able to start dealing with the emotional pain it will make dealing with the physical pain much easier.
You can do this. Pick a day and lets get going. We will be here with you every step of the way.

Brian

[dominosarah]

Material things can be replaced.  Your life cant be.  We always fear the unknown but it will all work out.  Go into that interview with your head held high and show em what you got girl...PILL FREE