You know your an addict when........

[beentrying2quit]

It is amazing how us addicts will lie to everyone espceiall ourselves.  I havent posted here in a while as I've been dealing with some digestive problems that are causing me pain and have been on other boards.

I've recently been diagnosied with either IBS or Celiacs disease...both are painful.  I've been able to keep my norco usage to 3-4 a day.  Yes.....there are some days that I dont hurt and still take 2-3 pills.  Last night I took my wife and daughter out to dinner and a movie.  Having IBS or Celiac you have to be VERY careful what you eat.   Items such as dairy and wheat products can cause you lots of pain.

Anyway.....before we left the house I made sure to put one 5/325 Norco in my jean pocket.....ya know....just in case.  I put the pill in the same pocket I keep my cell phone in and on the way to the restarurant my phone rang.  I pulled the phone from my pocket and took the call.  

When we were finally seated at the table I decided that I would take the Norco just in case the food I ordered would upset my stomach.  WHen I reached in my pocket the pill was GONE!  I got scared and searched every pocket I had and never found it.  THis is when the detective in my realized what had happened.  When I took my phone out it must have also pulled out the pill and the pill was probably lying in the front seat.  I made up some story and dismissed myself and headed back outside.

This night was rainy and temps in the high 20's.  As I approaced the car I noticed a little white speck on the wet asphalt next to the driver side door.  You guessed it....it was my norco and it was absolutely soaked.  You can imagine what a white powdered pill looks like after it has gotten wet.  This pill was lying on the ground in the rain for approx. 10 minutes.

I picked the pill up and dried it off the best I could.  It was an absolute mess.  I was only able to save about half the pill.   I got back inside and took the pill.  After I did this I felt miserable and realized my problem.  I do take the pills for pain but mostly because I'm addicted.

Today was better.  I've only taken 2 tabs and tomorrow I will only take 1.5, the next day I will only take 1 until I'm done....hopefully by Friday.  Here is the scarry part for me...my boss is coming in on Wednesday and I'm scared to death.  I've done this before and now I know I have to do it again.  The saddest thing is that "I'm going to do it again."  Once I was free from this chit and got right back into it.  

what was your defining moment?  I'd be interested to hear your stories.

Later

[oxygirl487]

hey u need to change ur name to "gonnaquit4good"  lol.....to think of all the lies and stupis **** i did to get pills omg......makes me sick....the money the time spent looking...i guess the thing that bothers me the most is that i WOULD NOT attend any of my kids games or any other type of "function" unless i had pills......now i dont miss a one...i have alot of lost time with my kids espically to make up for and im loving every minute of it..........u can do this taper...i beleive in u...hang in there....love u and god bless u

[whathefu_k]

I started going to all these relatives I had hardly ever seen and taking a little bit of whatever pain pill they had around. The funny thing is I started realizing how many people have been on so many narcs for so long- it's an absolute scourge on America

[lucyred68]

i knew i was anaddict when i stole the pills from other peoples medicine cabinets.  sometimes i would plan it out by getting generic tylenol that was the same shape and size as the vics and exchange the whole bottle.  the poor people who needed the pain pills I took.

[worried878]

chasing pills all the time is really annoying....if you have a full time job it is just too time consuming trying to figue out how ur gonna get em all the time....u get really creative!

[truebluesue]

I probably would have been licking the ground to be sure I got all the residue, and I wouldn't have dried it off, I would have put it in my mouth immediately and chewed it to be sure I got as much into my system as fast as possible!  I probably also would have taken 3 or 4 with me, not one, and taken it 20 minutes before food arrived so it was on an empty stomach and more would be absorbed quicker!!  I do like that feeling!  I totally don't understand people who take 1/2 a pain pill and say how much they hate the out-of-control feeling it gives them.  I am a control freak, but I love the feeling!  

I haven't taken any in 3 weeks now, but have had months and years clean between relapses since 1989.  Using never lasts more than a month or two anymore because I am so tired of trying to keep an adequate supply around - and I feel so much better physically when I'm clean - even with pain.  (It never gets any better from narcs anymore anyway, I just THINK I feel better because it makes me feel better emotionally for awhile.)

[worried878]

I would find myself leaving my handy pill bottle at home   I would get to work and actually have to drive home and go get it...just had to be sure it was in my pocket at all times......there have many others but would rather not make myself look that bad as to bring those up!..also when I started taking so many that my scrip would not cover them all....I took money out of my 401k and also a 1200 dollar equity line....I knew I did one of these...but like to died when i saw I had done both...I did not remember doing it