10 Years of hell

[drewci]

My daughter started off with hydros then briefly crack and then opanas then graduated to heroin after having 2 kids.  Found spoon on top of bathroom shelf and says a spoon doesn't mean drugs. Found little papers but they were old?? Found 1 needle but that was old??? Goes for cigarette runs once a day and then leaves at night to get Christmas present but yet comes home with none, gone to get me a present but I never received one, went to get a Christmas card as she knew there was money in it. I asked to see the card but she only got money. Turns into rage very quickly. Isn't doing drugs, no matter what anyone thinks (she says) Steals but she didn't do it NEVER even when caught.  Need her gone to get sanity back into my life.  I'm scared but I'm  told, I could be doing her the favor of her life.  She has been to numerous short term rehabs and yes jail (no big deal) Loves her kids 50% and drugs50%. Should I erase all communication with her until she comes to grip with reality and possibly chooses long term rehab which is her only choice or death.  Should she be able to talk to her children on the phone if she is told no more visits.  Don't see her high when here but def something is going on and isn't living the good, productive life.  I appreciate your comments.

[jifmoc]

Hi, welcome. You wrote: Need her gone to get sanity back into my life.  I'm scared but I'm  told, I could be doing her the favor of her life.  She has been to numerous short term rehabs and yes jail (no big deal) Loves her kids 50% and drugs50%. Should I erase all communication with her until she comes to grip with reality and possibly chooses long term rehab which is her only choice or death.  

Answer: Yes.

Tell her this and then do it. Don't know if she lives w/ you? How she pays for things? Either way, Yes and don't say you are cutting her out of your life until she gets clean. Do it.

Look up Alanon. Go to a meeting. 10 years is too long to suffer. The reason alanon exists in the first place is because of questions like yours. Can't stress this enough.

[Merri123]

I would hesitate cutting off phone calls with the children. You may want to take them to a child therapist to get advice their. It could cause problems for them in the future.

Otherwise she either takes a drug test or go. And if she doesn't pass, she has an ultimatum or she goes till she decides to do it.

Be strong. At least you have the children. Do you have custody? Does she have court ordered visitation? If so denying visitation could get you in trouble. You may want to consult an attorney too.

You can't chsnge her but you can change how you desl with her and how she affects your life. Good luck.