My hubby went to Rehab...but.....

[Kooks]

I posted before my husband decided to go to rehab we live in Ct and took him to one in Penn. I just have a question and this sounds so stupid, but i've lost all trust in him since all his lies and addiction. I want to know what it's like in rehab. He is in detox for 5 days then stays there for 21 days. The place is called livengrin...any of you heard of it or been there? I just want to know if people can easily have sex in places like that? We're young i'm going to be 26 in a few days and he's 25, we have 2 children. I'm probably just going crazy but i just want to know if people do get togteher and sneak off and have sex and things? Thank you! You all must think i'm crazy. I'm very proud of him for going and i hope it works this time, but i'm worrying about other things now.

[pat0307]

My husband is in rehab. Weve been married a long time. His family did not speak to him until the week before he left. Now they are inviting me to family function. I feel extreming uncomfortable and don't want to go . Any thoughts?

[morganave]

I agree with the others about your husbands mind not being  on sex with another. He is  using all he has to get clean.  Stay focused on what you can  do to keep the home fires burning. Let him know that you can not wait until you get that part of your life back.  
Remember that an affair can be any where.  If he were going to do that, he would have done it already.  If you get the chance to speak with him, tell him your fears, now is the time to be honest in your relationship.

[mtgoat911]

i am not going to let this board know how many times i have been to rehab, i will give you a hint, more times that you can count on your fingers!!
and no...i have never had sex, while i was intreatment
most centers seperated the males from the females
and the ones that were co-eds had residential interns who kept an eye on the patients
there is a book called courage to change, i bet you would get alot of help from this book
you should check it out
xo

[cc70]

Hi there... I have been through rehabs myself and also years after being clean and sober worked in them. (I am currently after 13+ years relapsed on pain meds...but that is another problem and nto yours)
Although "hook ups" can occur in treatment facilities it is in most if not ALL rehabs a huge NO NO. many treatment centers even have stroct rules on social interactions of opposite sex. Many people are drawn to the oppsite sex as a way to not deal with their own problem and can be a great distraction while being in a painful place. It does not mean that these treatment centers are hook up places. It can happen (just as it can outside of the confines of  treatment facility) but shouldn't. usually if couselor see any sparks between peopel they will make it clear thaat they are to stay away from each other...and it will be addressed. I am sorry you don't trust your husbnd....that is a horrible way to be in a relationship. I would be more worried about his recovery and YOURS as well...please seek Alanon or Nranon meetings for support. They often have family groups that you can attend at his facility and that is when with couselors you should address your fears and concerns. So to say it can't or won't happen is not a statemnt anyone can make...as I have seen rehab romance occur...BUT not only is discourged in Rehab but also is grounds for termination from most faculities....so just be there for him...support him and be a part of his recovery!!! If you need anything just send me a message!!!

[vinnysmommy]

I have never heard of the place you mentioned, but I went through detox and an inpatient setting about three months ago in Washington.  Males and females were separated.  Our days were pretty busy, up at six and classes,lectures and aa/na meetings all day with our days ending at around nine at night. I know at the place I was at sex would never be an option.  I know how you feel about the trust issue.  I am still gaining back the trust of my husband.  He has attended support meetings for familes and that has helped him alot.   It is a rough road but you can get through this, hang in there.

[kjbriggsy]

you dont sound crazy at all- you are concrned and to top it off, we as addicts are very good at manipulating and creating a hard situation for everyone in our lives to trust us again. however, i can tell you that when i was in rehab the last thing on my mind was having sex because i felt so terrible and the rehab i was in in PA i didnt see a man for my entire stay(except for the doctor and a few nurses). it would be hard for him to, on top of all that he is going through, to meet a lady friend, get to know her well enough to like her, and then devise a plan to sneak away and have sex. like i said its probably the last thing on his mind. one thing you can do though and i know this was fun for me- build up his thoughts about what you have in mind sexually for him when he gets home. if you create a scenario where he desires his long wait in rehab to come home and ravage you then it can be something to look foward to and a positive for you and him for him getting clean. and if he was abusing opiates i will assume its been awhile since his 'parts' were 100% any way. but i could be wrong about that, but it seems to be a common problem in both males and femals addicted to opiates. but anyway dont drive yoursef nuts its a highly unlikely scenario. congrats on your hubbys recovery and good luck to you!

-Kerstin

[christos24]

I commend you for supporting you husband during probably the hardest thing he'll ever have to endure in his life...i have heard of the rehab facility youre husbands at....it is not easy at all to have sex while at rehab, they keep  genders separated and most likely they arent even able to have group meetings together or have free time together, yes there is a crazy chance that they could sneak away at night and meet up in the woods, but that is very far fetched and i highly doubt it, they are tightly controlled and watched over and even if your husbad has met someone there he couldnt really get to know her or spend a lot of time with her..i wouldnt worry about that, i would ask him straight up, i understand you do not trust him cuz the addiction and lies,l but that was not him that was the addict the junky in him,, i was a whole another person, i was selfish, a constant liar, i exaggerated everything, i stole, i did everything i was taught was immoral and wrong...thats what junkies do....but if he is doing well in rehab you need to trust him and support him during it, its going to be so hard for him...you should also visit alot, and when you do have a therapy session with the both of you and talk about your concerns he will not be able to hide that if hes with his therapist you can tell there is telltale signs with body movements and action..i hope you both the best, stay strong..-christos

[TrayCee]

yes, it happens..

[avisg]

Is it possible I am sure it is but you are going to drive yourself crazy wondering about something you wont be able to change that most likely wont happen. Your trust in your husband has been broken . You do have reasons not to trust him its going to take a long time to repair it .I would look into some type of support group from you to .Addiction does not only effect the addicted it effects everyone in the family. I hope he gets clean and this will be the beginning of healing for the both of you,hang in there.