crack

[imsosotired]

This was one of my worst weekend every. because i used crack i just lost my job,wife home and almost my suv after being clean for a year im so so tired of me i lie to myself every day saying i a real man and that im going to make it i even left my second wife cause i wanted a new start now what a new wife new city.  im sosotired

[dominosarah]

You can run but you cant hide~

[Andie015]

Sorry....no matter where you are or what you're doing....hope that didn't diminish the impact if the message.....

[Andie015]

I love that clean n Kansas...wherever you go, there you are...it's so true, you can move as much as you want to escape your reality, but it follows you no matter where are what you are doing....if you don't deal with your reality...your reality will deal with you....strong words

[clean_in_ks]

Geographic cures don't really exist.  My dad, who is dead but died a recovering alcoholic of 25 yrs.....tried that with my family when I was pretty young....he moved us all the way from Kansas to Hawaii.....ya know what...he still had alcoholism...and he moved us right back to the same house, the same town and the same schools.  Crazy right?  So is addiction.

"No matter where I go......there I am."

You can't run away from yourself forever.....sooner or later...you will get sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I posted a letter in one of my journals that I want to share with you.  Here it is:

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/564106/POWERFULLetter-to-me-from-my-AddictionNever-Forget

Crack is not one of the drugs I abused....but the substance isn't the point....what our drug of choice (doc) DOES to our lives.....that's the point.

We have the "power of choice"....always and forever.....you get to choose if you want to be one of the statistics that state addiction only ends up one of 3 places:  jails, institutions, or death.

You can choose behind Door #4...though
RECOVERY

Hope you'll do some serious reading on this forum and decide you truly are soso...tired.  You are worth it....a new life of recovery is yours for the "deciding"....we'll all be here to encourage and support you~

[jjswartz_1]

Millions of people suffer from addiction worldwide, so know that you are not alone.  So you fell off the wagon and smoke crack......thats in the past today is a new day.  STAY SOBER!!!  You will need a clear head to solve your problems.

By the way....you are a real man.  And men/women are not perfect and struggle internally and externally just like you.  Over coming addiction shows great inner strenght and will power.  Making a mistake like smoking crack on the week-end and getting back into sober mood show real character....it is not a short coming.  I don't care if you mess up and 8 more times in the future....just get back up and start again.

Have you asked yourself the hard questions:

Why did I lose my job,wife,home?

Am I a victim or did I help create this mess?

Don't reply online to these questions but with perfect attention and focus turn within yourself and answer truthfully to yourself.  

Happiness should not be dependant on things outside yourself.  You are not your job, or relationship, or home.  Thses are things that life can take away in a heart beat so appreciate them but do not attach a sense of self to them.

We tend to try and escape uncomfortable/painful situations.  Kinda like our fight or flight mode.  However what if the sadness,emptiness is within you.  Then changing planets would not help because the pain is within you.

I know that often times people suffer from depression on varying levels and can,t pinpoint why they are unhappy.  So they run around changing jobs, relationships trying to find that happy place.  the whole time they are suffering from clinical depression.

I am not saying this is the case with you.  I am merely saying that you should look within and find the answer for yourself.

Good luck and know again that I understand your pain and you are not alone

[hydro_fool]

Hi imsotired.
I sent you a message, but others will also assist you on here.  As long as you are ready to quit you have come to the right place.   You can do this.

H.F.