Day 8... Feeling great!!!!!

[jibi07]

Day 8 OMG I didn't think I would make it this far.... Yesterday was a horrible day no sleep and sever rls all day... Broke down went to walk in clinic told the dr my whole story, he said he feels for me and even tho he does not know me he is proud of my decision to get clean said to me... Welcome back to the world of the living!!! OMG that's so true!!! So he gave me light dosage of Xanax only a week worth to help w sleep and rls... Took one it knocked me out cold... No rls disturbed me I slept from 10 pm till 730 this morn didn't wake up once... It was amazing!! Having a fantastic day feeling great and going to my first NA meeting tonight!!! Excited! I'm never putting myself through this again!!!

[conhall]

your hubby knowing is a huge deal when i was detoxing it was for me also Thats why i pushed you so much on that before, I wasnt trying  to push too hard but I remember always saying it because for me it was the key to my sobriety and not relapsing.
I always thought he would look at me different or maybe stop loving me because i wasnt this perfect person he thought I was. Man was i wrong it made us closer he is truly my BF and strongest supporter. I am happy for you so happy!
Keep on doing great Girl! You sound great! Hold your sobriety sacred!

[jibi07]

Thanks guys, yup I have been forwarned about the Xanax by the dr. they will not renew the script, just enough to get through.......... I will NOT let myself become dependant on it!!  Writing day 9 post now!!! :-)

[OpenMind24hours]

Glad you're having a great day! You've earned it.

Just want to 2nd what clean said about the Xanax. I learned from taking Ambien that when you take something for sleep you're borrowing sleep from your future. You will need to pay it back with insomnia. Try to go as natural as you can. My experience with Xanax was the same. I had a script of .25s. Very small dose. Took care of my anxiety very well (too well in fact). Next came the rebound anxiety when I stopped taking it. After all this we don't want to see you get slammed with something like that!!

I go to NA just about every day. Congrats on your 1st meeting!! Don't fret about finding a sponsor right away. Go with the flow for now. Bring your body and your mind will follow. When the time does hit you for getting a sponsor, ask for a temporary sponsor during announcements. You never know, she could become THE sponsor of a lifetime. Wednesday I'm going to lunch with my sponsor of over 30 years. He's 82 years old. We met in AA. I heard him speak at tables, he helped me after the meetings, and I wanted the sobriety he displayed. When he became my sponsor he helped me thru the steps. He allowed me to become, never solving problems for me in a codependent way, but helping ME find the answers. We appreciate those sort of things that we have done for ourselves in participation of our own recovery.

It's so good to hear you getting better and better!! You're showing everyone once again that there are miracles for everyone on here who wants to do their part in getting and staying clean! Congratulations!!!

[BelleFemme]

Congrats on your clean 8 days! The time will fly by...:) you have so much to be proud of...your life! Keep it going!

Belle

[jibi07]

hey clean.. thanks so much ... yes the dr explained that the benzos can be very addictive, hence only two weeks worth, but honestly, i dont think i will use them for more then a few days then toss them, as i DO NOT want to be dependant on these.... i'm very mindset! :-) I just feel so different this time around, it's amazing... i'm a little scared, but yet excited about going to the meeting tonight, I just don't know what to expect.... Dr said I should get a sponcor... I guess I ask for one? LOL I have no clue what to do or who to talk to there... I don't mind sharing, so talking for me is not a problem, can't shut me up anyway haha. I find the more honest and open I am, the better I will heal!!  RE: sis .. dad... I put my foot down on them, I said I know you guys have them, but please don't take them in front of me, don't offer them to me if you do I will have no choice but to cut myself out of your lives... I'm living a new life, and I don't want them, and if you can't respect that, and support me, then i'm gone" they were actually pretty understanding........ actually said they were proud of me, that was a nice feeling too!!! :-) I will post tomorrow about my day 9 and first meeting!

[clean_in_ks]

Look how much you are doing DIFFERENT and NEW this time!!!!!!!

I've followed you since I found MedHelp in Aug. 2012.  I just finished reading your post/thread dated May 21, 2013.......WOW girl....just WOW!

You have told your husband, you have told your dr. and now went to a walk in clinic and told "that" dr., too!!  You are walking to work!  You have support in ways you never dreamed possible, huh?  And now you are willing to go to a meeting and get support from other recovering addicts!  I am totally jazzed for you and all you have been willing to do DIFFERENTLY this time!

Going to your first meeting tonight will bless you......you don't have to share or speak up unless you want to.  If you go with the "mindset" to look for what you CAN relate to, rather what you can NOT relate to.....we usually find what we are looking for with that kind of attitude.  All women's meetings are a blessing, too.  If you have never been to a meeting, you will be amazed there are so many other people in the world that you can relate to.

Just a last word of caution, it's great that you finally got a good night's rest.  I believe you said the walk-in dr. only gave you enough Xanax for a week at a low dose.  Benzos are VERY easy to become addicted too as well.
I am almost a yr clean of opiates and found myself "walkin down a path I knew was bad news" by halfing a benzo of my hubby's.  After about 90 days on it....I knew I was headin down a path my feet don't need to go.  So just be careful with the benzo, K?

You are doing fantastic.......hopefully you can deter your sis and dad somehow.....and keep your guard up.  You're doing GREAT....keep it up~    

[jibi07]

I think the biggest thing that has kept me strong and on track is that hubby knows and is being so supportive! It had made a world of difference in my world bc honestly if he didn't know I think I would have failed again by now!!! I'm so grateful for his love and support and so grateful to all of you!!!

[VICourageous]

Very Good! Each day when I read what you say, you do seem to be happier. It is just amazing how we can feel again and do the things with out the drugs. Keep up the positive attitude..This will get you far!

[conhall]

I am so glad you slept Stay positive and remember you can do this! Very good day for you! Doping happy dance for u!
Each day is a better day than any day you were using pills no more being a prisoner to them! You are breaking free and stay on track dont let your guard up do whatever it takes to stay clean