Day 3

[Sharon0255]

It started late last night there is no escape from detoxing from the devils pills. It hit me like a brick around 3 am. I woke up in a pool of sweat changed and laid back sown horrible muscle aches well you all know. So Im having my worst day I hope today. I really thought I had escaped the beast. I know I want this more than I ever had. I've meant it every time I've tried with all my heart. I thank everyone here and God that I flushed and chose life. I need all the support I can get and I know I'm not alone. I'm sure there are people here feeling worse than me. Sharon
Any thoughts or encouragement are appreciated. Thanks.

[Sharon0255]

It feels awesome to I'm drug free today is the day. This is the only one I have and I'm choosing to live it sober.
Gratitude to all my peeps.

[Dane74]

Girl, you are doing great and i am very proud of you, i told you form the beginning that you have a great outlook on this.  I am happy to here you quit the benzo's too, it was not easy as i know all to well but its a great feeling to say I'm drug free now, it will only get better from here on out, so keep up the good work!!!

[gnarly_1]

Sharon your doing great isent it great to be free from the vise of the pills now plug into some form of aftercare it will help keep you clean .......make it ezer anyway keep up the good work you got this one......good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[minn66]

Glad to see your post, Sharon, and very happy you are doing so well!

[steve1220]

way to go brother you've it through six crapy days as hard as it seemed you made it sooooo proud of you !!!!! glad to hear your son and his...is moving in with you hope you keep each other strong !! day by day it gets better ....
          steve

[Sharon0255]

Having another day with a bit more freedom from the torture of this addiction YEA...
My son who I've mentioned here early in my struggle has 6 months sober and is coming back home to live with us and his fiance for awhile.. long story but a very spiritual one.
God works in strange ways because he is just the insurance I need right now. It won't be easy but what is easy mean anyway.
So its groundhog day for me a bit better every day and tomorrow will be one week.
Thanks to all of you, AA and God.
I'm so grateful I've hung in long enough for this miracle because i have no desire to use at all.
I have also weaned off the valium and Ambien.

[lulu747]

Sharon,

I am so happy to hear that you are doing better.  One battle at a time.  It really is about perspective.  If you change your perspective you change your life.  You need to continue to go easy on yourself girl.  Treating yourself like a precious object will make you strong!  And you are precious.  I'm proud of you.

Much love,
Lu

[minn66]

Hi Sharon, it sounds like you're doing pretty darned good! I'll take a job with less stress ;) Great job, girl!

[Sharon0255]

Thanks I'm taking the advice and I'm back in AA meetings. Today is my first day back at work and I'm stronger than I've been in a long time. I'm just grateful to be alive, opiate free, and have the most loving family. Oh yea and a job with very little stress right now.
Thank you all for being supportive.

[IwillDoThis]

Sharon - I focused on getting off opiates first and that made all the difference then about 30 days in (I had been tapering during the initial 30 days) I stopped the xanax and ambien.  I tried to go off all in the beginning becuase I didn't know you weren't supposed to and it was stupid of me.  I, too, felt so much better when Lu and Sandy both said to me to focus on the one thing at a time.  I felt initially like I wasn't being strong if I couldn't just quit everything which is the wrong way to look at it.

Consider this a process and focusing on one battle at a time IS the right course of action.  Hang in there - glad to see you are feeling a little better.

[Sharon0255]

Day 5 today thank God not feeling great but I will take ok. The cookout yesterday was great I really enjoyed my family and it totally distracted me. Took the L-T lots of energy but I could have just been waking up a bit too. Not sure a lot of responses say the supplements don't work maybe theyre just placebos I really don't care it's all mental anyway so if I believe they help then they do. Anyway I've tapered the Valium to .25 mg twice aday from like 20 or more mg in the beginning. Going to try and not take any during the day. I was so exhausted took some natural supplements could have fallen asleep at 6 but was to afraid I'd be up all night. Pretty much was anyway took the melatonin not sure about that one yet kinda makes me feel crappy but how can I tell yet
Yes Lu I'm heading to a meeting today and I have a sponsor but this issue I have only shared with one person in AA which totally stinks. But my whole family is in AA so I can't tackle that right now. It's the wrong time to tell them.
Well that's my plan it's going to be 90 here in Boston today hoping to take my grandson for a walk later. Thank you all so much and Lu thanks for taking the heat off me with the Valium I will tackett them next week.

[lulu747]

Sharon,
Sending you big hugs girl!  The detox is probably rougher this time because you've had ENOUGH!  Also, it's about 90% mental suffering.  You know you need to watch it with the Valium.  Only take the prescribed dosage and don't go up.  You can tackle that one AFTER you've been opiate free for a while and are starting to heal.  Remember, one step at a time, set yourself up for success.  Have you made it out to a meeting yet?  That would probably really help you at this point.  I can't remember if you've got a sponsor or not.  Enjoy your family time, remember to give yourself permission to just be where you are at.  You can't change the past or control the future, all you have is this moment.  Do what you can to make it the best moment possible.

Love
Lu

[Dane74]

HEy Shannon, not sure where your incisions are but if you can wrap them up with Saran wrap, thats what i did, i completely understand the water beating down on the incision hurts.  It will get better i promise you just have to ride out the storm sort of speaking and before you know it you will get those darn demons out of your system!!!!! Stay strong and keep fighting it is so worth it!!!

[MIkanik]

Been thinking about you and how you're doing!  Keep it up! You rock!

[minn66]

I do pray that you will have a better day. I believe that shower will help you a ton. Enjoy that cookout!

[Sharon0255]

I'm not sure how I am yet but I'm going to take a shower haven't been able to yet kills my incisions. I'm going to get out and we are planning a small family cookout. I'm a little nervous but I'm also going to kick the Valium completely this time. I wasn't taking much at all but this time I know I will feel better if I get off completely. I will tackle that like you after the opiates.
Please pray I have a better day and get a bit of relief.
Thanks so much for caring.

[minn66]

Hi Sharon, I hope you are doing well this morning. Just wanted to check on you :)

[kyle505]

Sharon:
You are just about through the toughest part of detox. On day 4 I started eating again, albeit in small amounts, but that kick started my body. The evening of day 4 I actually felt OK; not good, just OK.
Stay clean and the time will pass faster than you'd imagine. The mental battle with temptation never ends; it just gets easier with time. Keep posting. Let us know how you're doing.

[Dane74]

Hang in there girl, i promise it does get better as you know:)  Im only 30 days or so clean but all i can say is that it worth it and it was the hardest thing i ever had to do.  Take a bath/shower thats what helped me a ton.  I am sorry i do not have any experience with the thomas recipe but from what others say they say it does work.  I take supplements and melitonin for sleep.  Take immudium it helps with bathroom issues  as well as withdrawals.  I like your attitude stay strong and i 100% agree stick with all the "natural supplements"!!!  

[minn66]

Clorazepate is a benzo, kind of like xanax. I think the brand name is Tranxene. I started taking it a long time ago when I was going through my divorce. So, basically I have been on it about 11 years. I didn't abuse it. I didn't even take it every day. Yet, around Christmas, I went about a week and a half without it and came to the realization that I was dependent upon it. Ugh, and after quitting the hydrocodone! So, I was taking it during withdrawal but now am slowly tapering from it. I swear, if it isn't one thing, it's ten!

I do hope you are feeling better. We'll make it through this together.

Hugs,

Minn

[Sharon0255]

Minn what is clorazapate?  Don't be sorry crying is good I should be crying after what I've put myself through. Thanks for not judging. Means so much to me. Xo Sharon

[Sharon0255]

Thanks Lu I'm in really rough shape tonight having trouble keeping anything down. I took some chemo anti nausea med I had they Hellen I'm going to try and drink more   Wha the hell indidnt expect this at all I only used for 10 days. I know I'm not dying but it feels like it. Cany believe I thought I was going to have it easy. Are you against the Thomas recipe with the Valium? It's the only thingbthats working right now I'm taking low doses of Valium. Or I'm going to loose it.

[lulu747]

Sharon,

Tomorrow will be better!  And yes, day 3 is the hardest.  The most important thing is to drink LOTS of fluids.  More than you think you need.  I'm so happy you had some Nana time, love is what will always save you Sharon.  I took the L-tyrosine for the first three days and then stopped because it made me anxious, but I'm super sensitive to stimulants.  Get outside and get some fresh air and exercise, even if you move very slowly.  Be gentle with yourself girl, and commit to this 100%.  Remember that your worst day clean is always going to be better than a day of using.  You are doing this!
Proud of you...
Lu

[minn66]

I am so sorry! I didn't mean to upset you. Hugs to you.

As for the supplements, I mainly took the magnesium one and B12 and a multivitamin. Lots of Gatorade. Herbal teas, like Sleepytime with honey, lemon, and a peppermint stick. I admit every now and then I would add a shot of whiskey and make what we down South call a toddy. I was already taking Clorazepate, which I am now weaning off of. I don't know about the l-tyrosine because I didn't take it.

Feel better soon, hon.

Minn