Ok I really need help... Day 4 sober.

[Dixiechick72]

Ok. I shouldn't have done this... But I did. I've been Waiting on something I don't want to get too much into yet. But I have something that I applied for a license in another state. My background check has been completed but no news on if I got the license yet. I'm an f ing mess. My anxiety has shot high I'm pacing I'm going stir f ing crazy. Please help me not cave in. Please. I need to stay clean. Why did this come in on this day??? I swear everything seems to be dropping on me today... I'm really a mess. Help ...

[NowOrNever43]

Dixie, just wanted to see how you are feeling today? Hope you are feeling better each day. Just took my last pill and restarting the withdrawal process again. Thinking of you today!

[minn66]

Hey, Dixie, quick note to let you know I'll be thinking about you today. Remember, be kind to yourself. Try not to think of everything at once. Just one thing at a time. You'll work through it bit by bit. Right now, your health and sobriety is top priority. Now that's an order! ;)

Big hugs and hope you have a good day,

Minn

[kme17]

You will face everything better when you have a clear mind frame.

[Dixiechick72]

Hi minn. Yes I know what u mean. I just ate a full meal. Hopefully. I find some strength. I'm walking like I'm 80 yrs old. But I'm hanging in there. I'm taking it easy. But I stayed strong. I got through my bs.... Woo hoo. I did it. !!!!

[minn66]

Hey Dixie, doesn't it seem as though when we're trying to do good the crap hits the fan (or at least the porcelain ;))?! I'm still dealing with things that I played ostrich with and ignored. Take one thing at a time. You can do this, I know it. Be kind to yourself.

Hugs,

Minn

[smiles4eva]

I can't count how many times I have had to stop, catch my breath and breathe slowly and deeply for ten seconds. Great job saying no to a pill! :)

[Dixiechick72]

Thank u guys. Really. All this helps. I just about lost it and didn't know what to do. But yes I want this.  It's been hard because I've been waiting for news on this. But I gotta get me fixed before I do this.  I'm trying to change things and focus on the kids.  I can do this. I need to!!!

[thewaz]

Girl....the ONLY thing that is important right now is YOU.  You know you're already over the worst.  Tomorrow may be a bad one too but it's only another day.  I think all of us are different but agree that when you get through those first 5 days, it's all about inner strength.  I see that you have it. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. You also wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be clean.  Although whatever it is that has you upset/anxious is obviously important to you, at this point in the game, the only priority should be getting sober and staying sober.  Day four was a freaking nightmare for me with anxiety.  And I learned something that day that set me off too.  I came SO CLOSE.  But I'll NEVER go through this again.  Ever.  Neither will you.

[Sonrissa]

I just replied to your private message

[Dixiechick72]

Thank u pat and sonrissa. I would love to private message but I do this all from my phone and I'm not sure how to private message but it would help. I'm trying to calm down and not think of it. I got pissed cause I'm with my mom who said want half of my klonopin. Wth?? No?!!!! Are u kidding. I've worked too damn hard.. Hey got that?? I just said no to a pill.. Wow.. Wake up call!!! ;) lol. Can u see I'm all over with my emotions. But now I gotta focus on my kid ... So hopefully that keeps me busy. Going to spa with my oldest one after dropping my other son off for his test... I can do this right ??!! Afterall I said no to my mom...

[Dixiechick72]

Thank u pat and sonrissa. I would love to private message but I do this all from my phone and I'm not sure how to private message but it would help. I'm trying to calm down and not think of it. I got pissed cause I'm with my mom who said want half of my klonopin. Wth?? No?!!!! Are u kidding. I've worked too damn hard.. Hey got that?? I just said no to a pill.. Wow.. Wake up call!!! ;) lol. Can u see I'm all over with my emotions. But now I gotta focus on my kid ... So hopefully that keeps me busy. Going to spa with my oldest one after dropping my other son off for his test... I can do this right ??!! Afterall I said no to my mom...

[Sonrissa]

Dixie, I don't know what you are talking about, and it's fine if you don't want to give more details, but you can make it through this! I'm depending on you! Take your mind off of it! The issue won't go away, right? I'm gonna make some chocolate candy this afternoon! Find a project! You are on West coast right? Well, this day is 1/2 over! Cmon girl! Pull through! You can private message me if you want! I can keep confidential!! Just offering!!

[Pat1956100]

Being clean has to be your number 1 priority.  Nothing else matters at this point.  I have so many things that I am going to face once I am clean but I can't think about them today.  Today I am concentrating on getting clean.
It was so easy to medicate myself so my problems went away but medicating myself created alot of the problems that I am going to have to face.
Stay strong and congratulate yourself on what you have accomplished.