Aa
god please help me
I have been an addict for well over 5 years and I cant seem to shake this. The longest I have been clean is 2 1/2 months and I try so hard to shake this but I cant. Every month I try to stay clean and its like 3 weeks later I am hurting all over again. I dont know what to do. Is there anyone out there that has been clean more than a year? I cry unto the lord for guidance and and try so hard to be a better person but is always at that one month mark I go back and start the whole thing all over again. I need guidance so and I need to know there is hope. It's s weird even material items makeeme think of my past and how im never going to get through this. Please help me I need to know I am going to get through this
I am going to go to meetings at my church(victory) but im also going to look up some Christian addiction meetings
I Ditto all the Above.
When I read what you have written I can feel such Sadness.
There is SO much to this Disease and it WILL take TIME for all those Brain/Body Chemistries to bounce back.
I have reached out to my Church so much. The Preacher and others know about my struggles and they know them all.
If you can get to any type of Aftercare like AA/NA or Christian Recovery Groups this will help so much.
Just to be able to Vent out how we feel is a start. I had to reach out and reach far & further out more & more, as life will not always be what we want it to be. It takes so much WORK to keep on the right path. SO much Support. Maybe look up what they have to offer in your town. I know we have many Churches that help us Addicts out by there Works too!
Meanwhile..Just Do Not give in to Temptation. Learn how to put up your Boundaries. Be Strong and You will get Stronger. The Strength & Courage is not Handed to us, but it is right in front of us to Grab if we want. It is hard and forever lasting Work that is so worth it in the end!
I will send a Pray out to YOU! Do Not go on any Guilt trip either. This a Disease and a Progressive one. It does come down to making that Choice once you get clean.
Put on the Armour of God.
Shield of Faith..(big one)
Helmet of Salvation.
Sword of the Spirit.
YOU CAN DO IT!! I KNOW YOU CAN!
Bless
When I read what you have written I can feel such Sadness.
There is SO much to this Disease and it WILL take TIME for all those Brain/Body Chemistries to bounce back.
I have reached out to my Church so much. The Preacher and others know about my struggles and they know them all.
If you can get to any type of Aftercare like AA/NA or Christian Recovery Groups this will help so much.
Just to be able to Vent out how we feel is a start. I had to reach out and reach far & further out more & more, as life will not always be what we want it to be. It takes so much WORK to keep on the right path. SO much Support. Maybe look up what they have to offer in your town. I know we have many Churches that help us Addicts out by there Works too!
Meanwhile..Just Do Not give in to Temptation. Learn how to put up your Boundaries. Be Strong and You will get Stronger. The Strength & Courage is not Handed to us, but it is right in front of us to Grab if we want. It is hard and forever lasting Work that is so worth it in the end!
I will send a Pray out to YOU! Do Not go on any Guilt trip either. This a Disease and a Progressive one. It does come down to making that Choice once you get clean.
Put on the Armour of God.
Shield of Faith..(big one)
Helmet of Salvation.
Sword of the Spirit.
YOU CAN DO IT!! I KNOW YOU CAN!
Bless
Hi Christinarp! You have gotten so much great advice!!!!
I came into this as a believer too and I can relate to most all of what you have said.... But just know that God hasn't given up on you!!! He loves you and wants to help you but what I found was, like Krissy said, that "I" had to be willing to do the legwork and the hard stuff and the uncomfortable stuff!!! I kept praying through all of it even when I felt that God didn't hear me....
In your last post you said that you keep praying for God to take away your desire to use again. This is possible and all of us who have gotten through can attest to that!!! In my first few weeks I never imagined that would happen but as time went on and I did the right thing the right thing happened and today I have no desire for the pills anymore. Yes, occasionally I will get a craving and that is where aftercare comes in! It truly is One Day at a Time!!!!
For a lot of us aftercare is AA/NA and for others it is other kinds of 12 step (SMART recovery, celebrate recovery) a counselor, church, this site.... the list goes on and on.... For me I found that AA is what works even though my drug of choice is opiates.... and by getting involved in AA I also found that my relationship with God is stronger than it ever was in the past! I look back now and see that God was there all along even when I really thought He wasn't!!! You will meet people that will help get you through the aloneness (not a real word) and sadness in the beginning and some of them will become awesome friends and mentors!!! And you may find that it was God who put them there for you!!! YOU just have to reach out and walk through the initial feelings of insecurity and uncomforableness!!!! (Again, not a real word :) )
So hold tight to your faith and keep praying but do ALL that you need to do to not pick up again!!!! Get rid of your contacts including the Drs!!! And get involved in aftercare!!!
We are all here routing you on!!!!
Karen
I came into this as a believer too and I can relate to most all of what you have said.... But just know that God hasn't given up on you!!! He loves you and wants to help you but what I found was, like Krissy said, that "I" had to be willing to do the legwork and the hard stuff and the uncomfortable stuff!!! I kept praying through all of it even when I felt that God didn't hear me....
In your last post you said that you keep praying for God to take away your desire to use again. This is possible and all of us who have gotten through can attest to that!!! In my first few weeks I never imagined that would happen but as time went on and I did the right thing the right thing happened and today I have no desire for the pills anymore. Yes, occasionally I will get a craving and that is where aftercare comes in! It truly is One Day at a Time!!!!
For a lot of us aftercare is AA/NA and for others it is other kinds of 12 step (SMART recovery, celebrate recovery) a counselor, church, this site.... the list goes on and on.... For me I found that AA is what works even though my drug of choice is opiates.... and by getting involved in AA I also found that my relationship with God is stronger than it ever was in the past! I look back now and see that God was there all along even when I really thought He wasn't!!! You will meet people that will help get you through the aloneness (not a real word) and sadness in the beginning and some of them will become awesome friends and mentors!!! And you may find that it was God who put them there for you!!! YOU just have to reach out and walk through the initial feelings of insecurity and uncomforableness!!!! (Again, not a real word :) )
So hold tight to your faith and keep praying but do ALL that you need to do to not pick up again!!!! Get rid of your contacts including the Drs!!! And get involved in aftercare!!!
We are all here routing you on!!!!
Karen
Honey,
First of all, you are loved. The guilt and shame? Screw 'em. That's your addiction talking to you; it thrives on negative emotions like guilt and shame.
It does NOT matter how many times you have tried to quit. Read that again...it's important. Success is getting up just ONE more time than you fall down. You're here, you're clean today, and that is what matters.
I think you would benefit sooooo much from a 12-step group. Have you gone to N/A or A/A? If so, what happened? There are a zillion groups out there...sometimes you have to go a couple times to find the the right one to get you started, but if you can, try to go to an N/A meeting tonight after work. 99% of the people in the room have been through exactly what you have experienced...it is a wonderful, welcoming place of hope and acceptance. Plus it is free, and most have cookies!
Also, stay here with us...post every day, every hour, we really care, and we'll support you through this. You CAN do this...but you will have to do something differently than you have done before. Wishing away your addiction doesn't work for most folks...that is why I think a meeting a day for 90 days with N/A would be a good choice for you, hon.
Let me know how you feel about this...there's an old saying "nothing changes if nothing changes." It's simple, but profound.
BIG Hugs,
-Robin
First of all, you are loved. The guilt and shame? Screw 'em. That's your addiction talking to you; it thrives on negative emotions like guilt and shame.
It does NOT matter how many times you have tried to quit. Read that again...it's important. Success is getting up just ONE more time than you fall down. You're here, you're clean today, and that is what matters.
I think you would benefit sooooo much from a 12-step group. Have you gone to N/A or A/A? If so, what happened? There are a zillion groups out there...sometimes you have to go a couple times to find the the right one to get you started, but if you can, try to go to an N/A meeting tonight after work. 99% of the people in the room have been through exactly what you have experienced...it is a wonderful, welcoming place of hope and acceptance. Plus it is free, and most have cookies!
Also, stay here with us...post every day, every hour, we really care, and we'll support you through this. You CAN do this...but you will have to do something differently than you have done before. Wishing away your addiction doesn't work for most folks...that is why I think a meeting a day for 90 days with N/A would be a good choice for you, hon.
Let me know how you feel about this...there's an old saying "nothing changes if nothing changes." It's simple, but profound.
BIG Hugs,
-Robin
I know its my choice =/ I feel so guilty and ashamed for all that I have done but I do pray that god takes that desire away once and for all and if I am to get asked randomly if I wabt pills I say no and I mean it. I can take off work at all. My boss wont allow it and I have to just push through. I see the beauty of life each day but then I get down and thats when I fall for the drugs again.
Of course God is with you! But again,God can't make you clean. We are humans with free will,WE have to make that choice. He's going to always be there routing for you to make the right decisions. If you relapse it's not because God let you,it's because you succumbed to the drugs by you're own free will. "You" have to cut all your contacts of how you get your drugs. If you can't get them you can't take them! Then you need to get yourself to a NA meeting and start working on you. Good luck to you and keep posting!
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