so liberating!

[Shmoozilla]

Well - I'm on day 11 now!!  I actually went out today for the first real time since stopping the pills.  I was nervous/scared as hell to go out, especially as I was going to the pharmacy to get a couple of migrasticks because of my headache.  Anyway - I made myself do it - especially since I'm back at work in about a week and if I don't get out of the house this coming week at all, then it's going to be even more terrifying next week...

I caught the bus to the local mall, and bought something called mygrafew from the health store, which is a once a day herbal migraine preventative (containing feverfew), and some vegan digestive enzymes (hoping to get my digestive system back into proper working order!).

When I went to the pharmacy I had to ask where the migrasticks were, and she led me right to the pain relief section, and they were right next to the nurofen plus...  It felt so liberating to finally think "I don't want you anymore!!" about these damn pills!!!  It made me SO happy!!

I even went to kmart and bought some wool so I can make puppy jumpers for little puppies in the SPCA for winter, to keep them warm :).

I had been so scared of going to the mall and being around a lot of people that I had shut myself up at home and let my partner get everything I needed for me.

Even this morning when I went to say goodbye to him, he asked me if I was feeling up to going out and when I said "I have to - I have a headache and I need a migrastick" he immediately went to jump out of bed and offered to go for me.  I had to say to him that I needed to do this, although I don't think he quite understood why - and to be honest I think he was worried that I'd buy some pills...

I talked with him when I got home and told him how amazing it felt not to want to buy those damn things anymore (although the thoughts do go through my mind about how nice it would be to not have a headache, by taking some, but I don't want them in my system ever again!).  He admitted he had thought I would be tempted to buy them, but even if I had wanted to - I couldn't since that chain of pharmacies banned me from buying nurofen plus ages ago because of the amount I bought online from them...  I even got one of their loyalty cards in a different name and used that to buy pills in the past...  Thankfully I didn't even want to try that today!!!

I feel so proud of myself!!!!


Have a great day everyone :)

Rachel

[Shmoozilla]

Thanks everyone :).

I don't know how but I did something to my back yesterday, so am hardly able to move without having shooting pains in my lower back.  Damnit!!

I took a couple of paracetamol yesterday for it, just in case it would work, but I spent most of the night in a lot of pain - especially trying to get in/out of bed when I needed the bathroom...

I was supposed to go with my partner into the city today to shop for some new clothes for work, but wasn't able to as can hardly walk properly, let alone catch a bus!  Hopefully it will be a lot better by Friday when he's going in again, and I can go then!!  Fingers crossed ;-)


R

[imrprod]

You are early in recovery so be careful....people, places and things beware the addict.  Find some meetings it sounds like you are really ready to work a sober program and live a sober life.

[gizzy32]

Congrats on 11 days clean. I also wanted to say your so sweet for making puppy jumpers, love it. Stay strong, you have come so far:)

[beatingthis]

You should be proud!!! Good Work!!!!
And your a sweetie for making puppy jumpers Ahhhhh!!!!

Whooo- Hoooo!!

Terry