help for my son

[jsmom718]

Hi All, I have been reading many of the posts here. I stumbled across this forum while searching for something else but so happy that I did. My son (21) has recently admitted to me (although I knew for a couple years) that he is addicted to Oxycontin. I just don't know how many ml a day he is taking. His life recently spiraled out of control and he is left to almost nothing now. I thank God for that because now he wants to change. Basically the only way to go from here is up.
Anyhow, he wants to get off the drugs. He has planned that he is going to stay at my house during his WD because he cannot hang out with his friends during that time. His plan is to use Methadone for a few days. He states he needs someone to regulate the dosage so that he is not tempted to take more than the recommended dosage. I am nervous about it because I don't know what to expect. Is he going to get violent with me? Are the chances of him getting addicted to Methadone too great? Many posts have helped ease some of my anxiety about this but anything you can offer would be great. I have also noted some alternatives in this forum to Methadone. What do you think? Thanks for your help

[IBKleen]

My heart is breaking for you and I commend you for holding strong.

He will say anything right now and he is pushing every button he installed. This is the "Guilt Trip" stage. If he does not use, he will start "The Begging" stage. He may say things like "If you really loved me"...."I am going to die". He may go on to bargaining and hopefully he will go far enough to accept it.

Unless he has underlying health problems, he will get through this. Seizures is not a part of withdrawal from opiates.

And so you know, I suspect he is taking way more than the 30 mls that he told you. That amount would not cause the withdrawal he is describing.

Please do not misunderstand, I DO feel for him but in order to get and stay clean he has to realize that his way does not work that includes "His Plan". As long as he thinks he is in charge he will be hard pressed to get clean.

Certainly you are still both in my prayers.

[vicki595]

Sending prayers your way..

IBK is so right about those stages...he will probably call back and at some point may give up...hard to say.

Do you have any support there?  Your other children? Family?

[jsmom718]

he is pleading, fully sobbing begging for me to just help him get through this day and he will detox on Monday (his way). Already told me he is going crazy and feels like killing himself. So, I got tough on that and said, "Are you threatening suicide? because if you are, I am picking you up right now but if you are using that thinking you are going to make me feel sorry for you, save it. So are you threatening suicide or are you just saying it?" He changed the subject and went back to begging so I pretty much knew the answer from that.
So that has already begun. He told me he spends $30 a day not that he takes 30mls. He actually stated that he has no set mls a day but he takes what he needs to feel normal which averages $30. I have no idea how much these things go for or what that means in terms of how much he takes.

[jsmom718]

Vicki,
I have family but am alone at home trying to make all the right moves here. I tried to call to talk to someone but it seems like all those doors have been closed. For some reason that is not meant to be. I found a local crisis center that would take him but only for 23 hours and he is free to go as he pleases but they had no doctor on staff today. it would have to wait til tomorrow.
ugh, what a day. I feel he is going to get it somehow but do know that there is no possible way for him to get through this where he is at in the house with the rest of the addicts. He does need me to help him at least get out of there but doesn't want me to help him that way. I want to ignore his calls but what if that's the call where he says come get me? so I can't. I am drained already

[vicki595]

All you can do is answer the phone and listen to him. Keep offering to come and get him. Pretty soon he'll feel so sick he may just cave in.  

I asked you about family because it's not only an emotional help but a help you could use to just physically go get him..That was my thought.

Just know,he's going to thank you someday for giving so much of yourself to help him.

V.

[jsmom718]

update for today. His girlfriend found someone to loan her money so she got it for him to make him feel better :(
I figured as much though. A shame. he went almost 24 hours-he was one day closer to being sober
Thanks for sticking by me today and all your support. Tomorrow is a new day and I know he can kick it when he is ready. He just has to be ready and I will be waiting