I just can't do it

[shilohpeace]

I don't mean to be negative because there are lots of people that have  commented that they have  been successful in getting off of oxys and percocet.  I just can't do it. I have tried at least 5 times and I just cannot bear the sickness. My brain is wrecked.  I wish everyone on here the best of success. I think it is best if you try to go to a detox center and have people around you a lot when you are really sick, but the thing is.. I can't afford a detox center as all the cost estimates I have received are $20K and I have yet to find one place in the U.S. that will help someone who cannot afford it.. to come to their place and get help.  Please.. no need to respond. I am going through all the stuff in my house and getting rid of junk and crap.. Oxys have made me a hoarder as well.I bought stuff on ebay years ago when I first started taking the drugs that I don't even remember buying.

[IwillDoThis]

Great post - Bkitty.  Shilo - you are still posting so that is good - just because you aren't ready yet doesn't mean you won't be ready at some point and you can still get support here.  Don't give up!!!!  Seriously please don't give up.  Not everyone has insurance and you are right no one will touch you without insurance so lots of us have no choice but to do it on our own.  Bkitty hit the nail on the head - yes it's great to get off the pills and feel better and I have to say I think I felt better in the beginning than I do now.  It is an emotional struggle every day and I didn't think that would be the case with me - but here I am and it is an issue that I fight daily.  There are lots of success stories but I think most of us keep posting and trying to help others because it reminds us of where we were, are, will be and we can all help each other.

I know you said no responses but I hope you see there are bunch of people who care and will be here no matter what.  When you are ready, we are here - don't go anywhere - we are all struggling with something.

Hugs to you.

[corbear]

Hi shiloh. Have you talked to your doc about wanting to quit the meds. He could put you on a taper schedule. It takes a little longer than cold turkey but its really working for me. I cant do cold turkey, God knows I've tried. I decided to taper myself. I'm down to 10mg a day of norco, thats been 4 days now. My body has adjusted to that amount and I'm taking my last pills tomorrow. I'm not saying it has been easy tapering cuz Lord know it hasnt been. You have to dig deep and do some soul searching. You can do it!!!!!!!! I finally just really looked at myself in the mirror and cried and cried. I decided enough was enough. I have 3 kids that deserve a sober mom and a husband that deserves a sober wife.
Please try to hang in there!!! It will be soooooooo worth it!!!!!! Take care!!!

[Bkitty]

Hey,,Im sorry. I know what you are feeling. Do you work? I called the EAP thru work and had a therapy session that was free and then referred from there. It was covered by my insurance. It was not a fancy place it was more like a state run facility. I am going to say something and I want you to know I mean this sincerly and caring,,,but maybe you are not ready to stop them yet. In your mind,,yes. But in your heart of hearts,,not quite yet. Having detoxed numerous times over the last 8 years,,I was missing one puzzle piece,,and that was the mental/emotional aspect of this addiction. It took many times of detoxing and relapse and detoxing and relapse for me to figure out  how I was doing it was wrong. I was treating the real issues underlying. Im not sure if you have that,,by all means. You will get a handle and stop when its the right time and you are ready. You know that. I know how hard it is to read all these success stories on here about how great life is and blah blah,,,but you are only getting half of the story. The feelings that you dont read and how hard it is and how difficult life is after the pills. Sometimes you dont see that vulnerable intimate part of that member's life or the hell they went thru to get clean. Some members have lost everything and are starting over,,yes that feels great but it also is a painful reminder of how we screwed everything up because of a pill. You dont see the shame on our face when we realize what we have done.
I know what you mean about the hoarding,,I got very lazy on the pills and just didnt care about me or my home. Yes Im putting it all back together now,,its still a work in progress. Keep coming here to the forum and keep posting,,we always will support you and there will be no judgement. Just because you cant stop the **** yet does not at all mean that you cant begin the recovery process. It will all fall in to place. I promise this. (((hugs)))~Bkitty

[minn66]

Oh please don't give up. I also understand about hoarding. My mother is a hoarder and I have hoarding tendencies. I am sending you lots of hugs and good vibes. It is a slow process on both counts (hoarding and the meds). Just take it one step at a time. I know it sounds so cliché but it is true. I get so impatient because I want it now. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone and we are here for you.

Take care and God bless,

Minn

[zoea]

My doc of choice does not have so to speak withdrawals but is mentally torturing.
U can do this. Nearly everyone on here, whom i have met has been in the same situation as u and have or nearly off your named drug.
There is so much advice on here. Stick with it. Everyone will help.
Stay strong
Zoe

[shortyma336]

oh no dont give up there is always hope and another min,hour,day to try again. i dont know where you live exactly but im pretty sure everywhere has the same thing. here where i am my x while we were together i took him to detox and rehab at least 6 times over the years he has no insurance and had no job or income there are 2 main detox but several others. i took him in he told his story they took him in kept him at least a week most times 2 or three if hed stay and medicly detoxed him in some and he went cold in others. he was not charged or billed. i know these places are out there. there are 2 just 10 min from my home. you got to ask the rite people the emergency room always knows if you go in in wd and ask for help they will even transport you to a free detox. or you can call and get the number. where there is a will there is a way i promise. help is out there and you can do it good luck god bless

[littlebit667]

Shiloh, I am 60 and am back here for my second try to get clean.  Please do not give up.  It is possible.  I was taking hydrocodone for over 8 years and slowly built up to 10-12 a day of 10's.  My brain is almost back and I am so happy that I am reading again and not being a slug.  I hope you can rethink this and find the strength to try again.  If you need more help...message me I will be glad to support you any way I can.