UG!!! Day 27

[Amaryllis1974]

Last night my resolve was tested - then re tested.
I was face to face with ULTRAM. Bottle was staring at me. I flipped out. I called for my bestie to come get em out of my face. I was paralyzed. I was sick~ my stomach churned.
But I didn't take em. I saw myself swallowing one, then two, then heading out to my meeting pretending to be clean.

UG! The moment they were flushed, the cravings came- strong. This *****. Today it feels like I have lost a best friend and I am f*cking sad. Mournful. Uncomfortable.

Yeah, I will be okay because everyone tells me so.... and all of YOU and my friends in recovery can NOT be wrong.

So I am pushing through, staying busy, calling my girls, working my step....

UG UG UG UG UG!!!!!!!\

Victory, yes. Wiggling to feel better. Cold air would be nice right now. Really cold air.

amy

[Amaryllis1974]

Feeling MUCH better. Got out of myself, went to lunch with a friend, and prayed for help...
Comes in waves, but NOTHING like the pain I was in 28 days ago.

Thanks all!

[gnarly_1]

hey girleee   cheer up you past the test your doing great 27days and going strong
I think the "pink cloud" effect has worn off and now its time to get back in the trenches
and fight....sobrity takes work...we are constantly challenged buy temptation and lifes little pitfalls our minds go to what there familiar with run to the pills ...we need to reeducate ourselves into sober thinking take those thoughts captive be mindful and think to our selfs is this rational or is it the old addict thinking ?? your doing great but all days wont be rose colored there will be days that our perseverance and faith is tryied to the edge...again its not the feelings that make or break you its what you do with them keep up on your aftercare work the steps and some days you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile ...they will pass and tomorrow is a another day
remember just for today your still sober and all is well keep up the good fight
good luck and god bless....Gnarly
  

[sweatinit]

Amy, Somthing simialr happened to me last week. Talk about a test! I never thoguht that I would make it through that day pill free. But I did and so did you! Nice job!
Dont be sad today. They were not your firends; just the opposite...they lie, kill and destroy!
hang in there. I am right on your tail :) day 25. xxoo

[LivingPresent]

Yes, your resolve was tested, but somebody's got your back. Don't forget this experience. Gonna be in the 30s next few nights so cold air is coming.