Today's The Day- Leaving

[troubleinohio]

Morning everyone. first off im sorry i havent been able to post and respond to all the new people that have come here looking for help in the last couple days. I feel guilty that I havent beeen able to offer my hand to help pull them up and welcome them aboard. Hopefully in the next few days I will be back into the groove.

now for my update- i have everything i can think of packed up and hid it in my broken down car which conveniently is parked outside a door we dont normally use in the house, so it was pretty easy to sneak bag fulls of stuff out of here and into the trunk. My sister is coming with her van today to help me get out of here. I got ahold of husbands best friend and told him the entire situation. He has helped many times over the years with us and he has always thought that my husband is way too hard on me and he understands what a difficult person he can be. So he is empathetic to my situation and he is going to help by coming over this afternoon and take my husband over to his house to work on some sort of project there so that I can get out of here then without any risk of getting caught in the act and having an ugly confrontation. His friend will also bring him back home much later and then act shocked when he finds my note that I have left, and will be there to talk to my husband, calm him down hopefully, and have a good long talk with him then about everything. If anyone can defuse a volatile situation, its this guy. He's very down to earth, smart, compassionate and can talk sense into people, and they've been best friends for many years.
So thats where I am right now.  I woke up this morning to find more pictures again taped to the TV, computer and fridge , with more vulgar captions. So he isnt getting any better here. He also threw the book i was reading and mangled the pages up on it!

Im really scared about doing this and pray Im not making a mistake, and praying he doesnt finish going off the deep end and kill himself or anything crazy like that. Im hoping this will open his eyes to everthing and that he will finally get some help. All i know is, I cannot live like this anymore, PERIOD.  And our little boys have seen and heard way too much stuff that they never should have and I can no longer let that continue either. They are my # 1 priority, to make sure they are safe, loved and cared for in every way, and if we keep staying here Im failing that goal at the present time.

Im also going to make an appt Monday mornign with a social worker to see what all my options are, whats available to me for temporary help, and hopefully job placement help as well.

Well that is all for now. Sorry this is so long. My posts always seem to get long-winded no matter what Im talking about though, lol.
Thanks to everyone for your suppport and love!  

[toxictome]

You are doing the right thing...I'm glad you have the  support of people who love and care about you. We do too, but we can only chat and support from our pc's.

Good luck and we'll be waiting for your next post.  hugs

[oneeagle]

I have been following you for awhile. From Indiana. I dont see anything else you could do. Take care of kids and yourself - hubby will hopefully wake up -its up to him. Best of luck to in all future endeavors

[swtbreezie]

Please don't worry for us sweetie worry and take good care of yourself and babies we will be waiting when you get on here.  You have been a rock and my angel too  Please get out of there.  Praying for you
hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[sheri0509]

remember i was out of kerosene, and i was able to get 422 gal free from the state.  my local church took me shopping and bought me $200 worth of food, I got $100 gift card for food from the salvation army, i went up and filed for child and spousal support, i went and filed for medical and food stamps temporary.  my church said they are looking into paying my rent and getting water delivered (i have a sistern so i need to pay for water $70 for 2000 gal) there is help girl, whether you think so or not.

[sheri0509]

there is alot of help out there.  as u know, you were there for me a few days ago I am a perfect example.  if u want my # we can talk privately and i can tell u what to do next...Im going through ir right now as we speak

[Avalancheblanche]

You are doing the right thing.  
I know how hard this must be for you.  Are you going to your mom's like you said before?  I will be praying for you.  Please keep us posted so we know you are ok.

[Lotsatrout]

trouble....  may I ask you if this is a permanent move for you?  Is there any hope of reconciliation between you and your husband?  You don't have to answer personal questions I was just wondering if this was the last straw or not....  What a tough spot for you and your kids.  You are obviously the one who is being strong for them and even if only one parent is strong for their kids it's better than none.  

They need to know that mom is looking out for them and you are showing them that you are.  It will probably make more sense to them as they grow older but you are taking steps to preserve their innocence and vulnerability of being a kid.  We've posted to each other numerous times and I have followed your story for a few months now.  I wish you and your kids the very best and I hope this situation has a happy ending.  Hang in there ok!

Trout  

[BlottedOut]

i think your doing the right thing, i really hope it will bring him to his senses, you know you cant go on living the way he wants you to, i'll keep you and your family in my prayers, i hope everything works out for you, let me know if i can help anyway at all, good luck

[enemy48]

I'm backing your decision 100%.  

I think cleaning up has cleared up your thoughts and this was only a matter of time.  Thankfully you don't have to deal w/pills and do all of this at the same time.

Keep us posted.  I believe that good things are on it way for you.  

[traveladdict]

I have watched you struggles and accomplishments through the last couple months you have done well.  I am very proud of you for staying so strong and focused. As a man myself i find it inexcusable to treat any woman such as you have been treated. Especially the mother of your children.  You are making the best decision of your life to leave as you are doing.  You will find out there peace you need to work on the things you have fought so hard of the last 40 or so days. Should know that you are a special and giving person that deserves the best in life.  You have shown so much compassion for so many people and you deserve the same in your life. Trouble you stay strong and I know you will. I wish you all the best.

Rick

[lostmarbles]

hello again, its good to hear that you have a plan and that you are going ahead with it. You really do owe it to yourself and your boys and I believe you are definately NOT making a mistake and that you ARE definately making the right decision... Whatever your husband does or doesn't do after you have left, will NOT be your fault.. your priority at the moment is first and foremost you and your kids. You are doing really well and I know that there are alot of people on this forum looking out for you. I will continue to follow your story and pray for you... Well done xxx

[IBKleen]

Morning hun!

You know you are doing the right thing for you and the kids. And maybe he will talk this opportunity to get help, but you can't worry about that. YOU are not responsible if he decides to do something stupid.

I wish you the best and will pray for you. Stay in touch when you can and take good care of yourself.

It is so good to see that you are making rational decisions. Aren't you glad you got clean?

Big Hugs.........

[Imtired]

You're doing the right thing. Don't second guess yourself.  I know I haven't posted to you about this before, but I just wanted to tell you, Good Luck, and YES the kids are the the No. 1 priority.  Take care of yourself, and those boys. It sounds like you've thought this out throughly and carefully. I with you all the way with your decision. You don't deserve to live that way.  
Again, Take care.

[LIZZIE LOU]

hey sweetie...

i have been reading your posts and i am soo sorry that things have gotten to this point.  i just want to tell you that i am proud of you...you have become so strong.  you "will" find the right path for you and the boys...it just takes time.

be careful and safe...

sending hugs to you my friend,
kim

[marra315]

hi , i dont know you but stumbled on your post lookin at mine from yesterday . i feel for you so much ! its sound like you have had a real bad time and i wish you all the best , dont look back mate . he sounds unstable and he needs to fght his own demons without you and concequences are his to take, you gotta look after you and your young as they are more important than anything in this world even his life , dont ever feel guilty no matter what happens you are a good person and mum  . love and luck to you x x