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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

methadone recovery

Hi, just signed up so first time here. Hoping I can get some advice. I've just, yesterday, taken my last dose of methadone linctus. Been on heroin and methadone for 20 years, but have been totally stable on meth for 3 now. It's taken the 3 years to get down from 80ml, more through fear than anything else, but I've also been gently pushed by my counsellor. I got right right down to 1ml, which i took for a week. I know 1ml is a ridiculously small amount, but it made a dfference, psychologically. I've now completely stopped and am totally lethargic, no motivation and severely depressed. This was happening even when I was on 5ml and lower. I've got some anti depressants from the doctor, but won't start feeling that for a week or so more.
Basically, from what I have read, it can take 6 or so months to get your motivation and energy back. So my question is, how do you stop your life falling apart in the mean time? I work and am in a band that I love, playing drums is everything to me, but even this is being neglected. What I really don't want to happen is to lose my band and my job and be even more depressed than I am now, if possible.
Are you able to keep up with things whilst doing this or shall I cut my losses and get back to it in 6 or so months?
Any help or input would be extremely appreciated.
26 Responses
Avatar universal
I deff try keeping pushing yourself,giving up is the worst the you can do. I KNOW how bad I wanted to give up for the first month or so. Nothing felt like it use,I had no gratification in anything I did. That also made me feel guilt I top of everything else because I have two beautiful kids. It's normal to feel this way,we had a mind altering drug in our system daily for years. It did get better,slowly I started to enjoy things again. It is a process that takes time,we didn't become addicts over night so we can't expect to be cured asap. If you're not already id recommended AA/NA program. I find talking with others helps/helped my depression. Knowing you're not alone can make a world of difference.
Avatar universal
Hello my friend,

I have never taken methadone, but I WAS on oxycodone for 8 years, and I'm 10 months clean now.  Depression is something I have battled all my life.  I've been through so much therapy for it, and the take-away is something I can put in one sentence:  Fake it 'till you make it.     I truly believe that psychology follows physiology.    

For me, I can't wait until my brain feels happy...I have to push myself and ACT like I'm already okay (even though I feel like 100% dog crap.)    It is not easy, in fact, it downright sux at times, but there really isn't any other choice.  

Go through the motions of living, and you will find, at some point, that you say to yourself "hey, this isn't so bad...I feel pretty good."  

I have a friend whose daughter was on methadone for years, and it took her many months to feel normal...but therein lies the rub:  what IS normal?  You're discovering a whole new you:  how are you supposed to live?  That is where Krissi's suggestion of NA is excellent.  I strongly recommend you look into this.  Lots and lots of musicians in recovery there (at least at my meetings there are.)  
5685035 tn?1423932969
I was on methadone for ten years and quit over 2 years ago, though I am in a relapse I still wont touch those ever!
I was just like you no energy, depressed, weak
I kept moving I had a friend push me
I would lay on the becah at night, I went to church and went to after care for me it was NA
I worked steps and worked on me...I stayed busy and eventually I got better
life didnt get better but I learned  to get better
I only relapsed because I stopped working on me and its my fault
give it time
4522800 tn?1470325834
How are you doing today?
Are you still with us?
I too am a X-Doner (prescribed for pain) and X-Recreational users for many, many yrs.
It does take TIME and I mean Time for all the Brain Chems to balance back and for the Body to follow. You will have to hang on to that Patience. I know, it did seem like it would Never get better, but after awhile and a LONG while it did. I am going on 3y and it took a lot of Paitince and Work to finally get here and to finally except Life as it may be.

Right now just make sure you drinks tons of fluids and mostly water to help flush the toxins out. You will go through many stages as you heal. YOU did Taper and that is a BIG plus on your side!! Most of us x-doners stopped at a pretty high does or got down some.
Make your Diet very Healthy. We have to replenish back all them vit, min, and electrolytes that got knocked out during our using. Start taking some good plant based Vitamins and natural Minerals. You can also find some good Antioxidants in some Packets these days to add to water. Pick up some Protien Powder and add some Berries to this. Amino-Acids are so important right now too.
I wish you all the best and hope you keep checking in.
Bless
Vickie
Avatar universal
Hi thanks so much for your replies.Im doing ok. Very achy and sleepless.Nothing major, but kind of bugging me.Very anxious,seeing my gp today about something for that,as well as being very depressed with absolutely no motivation. Which in turn is making me more anxious as I'm off work this week and have bills to pay.
Avatar universal
Hi   well I detoxed like you from 150 to 1mg and still went threw the withdrawal it takes about 10 days to 2 weeks to get over the phyical part  then it was the sleeplessness and ''energy crash'' that stuck around for quit some time....it was a good 90 days until I see the light of recovery it is different for everybody so just take it one day at a time keep posting for support we have a lot of members who have made it to the other side.....................Gnarly................................
Avatar universal
Thanks Gnarly. Ive had a bit of a rough day. Wandering around the house looking for stuff to do and immediately deciding not to.
I think I could deal with everything so much easier if it wasn't for the sweating and constantly peeing. Ive read the peeing is a common thing, I was worried it was something more serious at first.
4522800 tn?1470325834
I am so glad you checked in.
Yes, You sound as if you are still in the physical detox. The sweats are there, as all those toxins are trying to come out from the Skin, Nose, Eyes and by Bowel & Urine movements. Anyway they can come out of our system!

However, since I had used for so so so long I did get complete blood work done. Just to make sure all is ok!

You are just flowing along day by day and each day brings on new hope for tomorrow. This all will pass! Just be safe and keep your Guard Up at all times. The Mental part can be a slightly difficult part to understand, but it will not hurt you. It is just the Brain Balancing back out and all these Emotions come a flowing in.
YOU WILL BE FINE IN TIME!
Bless
Vickie
Avatar universal
Thank you Vicki. Im still hanging in. I slept fine last night. 11 hours straight through and although ive just woken up, think I feel better, but its the 5th day now, so I'm guessing it isn't over yet. Waiting for my brain to wake up and tell me Im still bad.
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi yeti!

How are YOU today?
Just do not let that stinken-thinken get You!
Heck, You slept that Long..Wow! That is progress right there.

Plz keep us updated!!

Bless
Avatar universal
I feel really quite good to be honest. I had a session with my band last night which I was dreading and it went ok. Got a gig tonight as well.
Still a little sweaty, but think I'm over the worst of it. The gig will be a big test, as I used to take a little more meth to perk me up for a show, so this'll be the first time straight.
Avatar universal
Yay!! So glad to hear you're starting to feel better. I know at the start of all this you were questioning whether you should just put things on hold for awhile. I bet when you get out there tonight and play your music you're going to be thankful you stuck with it!! Music is what got me through my detox. It almost feels like a certain song you listen to at an emotional time was written for you!! Haha I know it wasn't but detoxing is an emotional time and I felt like I poured my heart and soul out listening to music. You're lucky,you get to actually pour your emotions right into your own music!! Good luck tonight man,proud of Ya!! Xox ~krissy
Avatar universal
Hey dude  well your coming around fast  witch is a good thing   just know this drug is very cyclic and just when you think you got it beet it comes back with a vengeance  as you progress you start to get more good days then bad....how is your energy???  that was the worst part or me  I was pined down to the couch for months  just know it does and will get better  there is life after methadone  keep pushing forward and keep posting for support   let us know how your gig goes tonight
..........................................Gnarly..................
Avatar universal
Ive just got back from the gig and nailed it. I sweated like a mofo and my legs ache bad now, but to be honest I feel worse sitting around. If I could've got out of playing tonight I would have, but I didn't want to let the guys down.
All in all, first ever gig straight and I'm made up with myself.
I think it just shows so much of it is in your head
Avatar universal
One other thing is I am constantly hungry. I absolutely have not stopped eating all day. I'm pleased about this too, as I got to about 57kilos/126lbs and at 5'10" is way too low. So hopefully I'll start putting on weight.
4522800 tn?1470325834
I am So Proud of YOU!
Yippee Yahoo!

And you went and played with the Boys without being High!
You Banged those Drums Sticks hard I bet..Ha!

Are you playing at a Bar? That to me would be so hard right now, but again I think I could do it. lol or LOL

Stick around and be Supportive for others on here. YOU have come a long ways!
Bless
Avatar universal
Thanks Vickie, that means a lot.
It was at a bar, yes,but Ive never had a problem with alcohol, virtually teetota, other than a couple of beers at Xmas, plus I was driving.
Feeling pretty lethargic today, mind. Legs are aching, which is really bugging me.
Its been a week since my last dose and am so looking forward to being shot of the tie. Thr panicking if I run out, not being able to stay over anywhere unexpectedly, as Ive left my meth at home. I really can't wait. Im going to Thailand for a month in December and it would've been hard taking some out of the country.
Ive got to say, though, you guys are awesome. Its really helped posting on here.
Avatar universal
Im back at work. Second day and absolutely exhausted. I think the anti depressants have kicked as im not so down and my anxiety has all but gone. Im just left with tiredness and lethargy.
I am so hoping this isnt it for 6 or so months
Avatar universal
Hey Dude  well it is tuff to say how long the ''energy crash'' will last  for me it was around 90 days that I turned the corner  it is less for some and more for others....just know it does get better with time  just keep doing what your doing and all will be well.............Gnarly
4522800 tn?1470325834
How are YOU doing TODAY???
Avatar universal
Hi, I was on 15 mg of methadone a day for three or four years.  Basically came off cold turkey a few years ago.  Gnarly really helped me by sharing what to expect.  I will just say that it will be hard to ever forget those first three months.  The nights were the hardest.  They first week or two was a complete lack of energy, only getting up to go to the bathroom.  I had to work as a teacher and was only able to take off for about a week.  I drank a lot of the light gatorade.   I used the Thomas Recipe for the most part.  Had to resort to the 5 hr. energy bottles for a week or so.  Honestly, even though it was extremely hard, staying busy helped the time pass.  My advice is to be determined that you can do this and that there will be an end to it.  If the end is 6 months or 9 months from now, you will be so much better off than to be dependent on the methadone for your lifetime.  I've since read up on what it can do to your body over time and it's not pretty.  No going back, only forward.  Wishing you strength, stamina, and peace through it all.
Avatar universal
Well, to be honest, Im starting to feel a little like myself again. It is so awesome not having to worry about taking it in the mornings and not having to go to the pharmacy every week. My mood has lifted 100%. The worst thing is I have a really physical job and my calves absolutely kill me every day. Whether this is a symptom or just what 'normal' is like, I don't know.
Motivation is still a little lacking, but trying to force myself to do stuff.
Anyway 2 week anniversary tomorrow,(Saturday)
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi Yet..

2 weeks already?? Wow, see how times flies when you start to feel better.

Yep! I had many, many, many Months of these so called stages I went through. Most of it comes from the 3pills that I mixed, as each one hit different areas of the Brain, let alone what they do to the body parts & that good old Nervous System. No/Low Motivation & Energy was talked about a lot on here about 3yrs ago. It seems to be one of the last things to come back.

I am just Amazed on how far you have come and your Physical out come here. If you get those Mental Waves just know your Brain Chemistry is trying to balance back. This is the part that will not hurt but those Emotional feeling come flowing in.

Very, Very Happy for YOU!
Bless
Avatar universal
I am kinda made up with myself. It feels good not relying on something. Although I'm really struggling with the leg ache, its completely p'ing me off. Even today, which was a really eady day at work, they ached to the point of being painful. Hoping it stops soon.
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