methadone

[sunshinedaydream3]

not looking to be lectured, told how stupid of a decision im making, etc.  id like to hear from those whove been on it.  i have no problem with thinking about being on it for the rest of my life.

currently on sub.  i feel empty and hollow.  

it has helped me alot.  full time job and school.  

i been through alot, me and my girlfriend of 5 years were supposed to have a baby - she was still born (my GF never used drugs and hated that i did).  i had planned on asking her to marry me after we had the baby.

but after that all happened, we were fighting and depressed and ended up splitting up, we had dated for over 5 years, since i was a in high school

after all of that, started using got out of control - ended up on sub.

now, i just feel empty and hollow, no emotions. have totally isolated, im depressed.

i know im not ready to be off of medication assistance and from my battle i dont think i ever will be

i've been depressed n constantly thinking about gtn high.  i just want to feel good.

i am going to switch over to the methadone clinic.

anyone in here at the clinic

[bev49]

I was on methadone for over 30 years and was not a sweating zomby. Constipated, maybe, but there are meds for that. i was a IV heroin user prior to that. WHen I got on you had to PROVE IV use by track marks and blood test. They would have never let pill addicts get on. It's too big a step. It's meant for the long term. Having said that, it was a lifesaver. I never had a dose higher than 80 mgs... It's hard to hold a job at the very beginning because there are stringent rules and you have to go there 6 days a week and stand on a line. They do nothing much to make sure you get to work. After a few weks I was adjusted to the dose, never got drugged up after. I eventually got schedule changes ending with coming one time a week, I had a very good job, raised a famil and lived life well. Methadone saved my life. Is it for everyone? No. Should other avenues be explored  first. Definitely.But it definitely has its place in the treatment community and to say methadonians end up as sweaty, constipated zombies is really unfair and untrue. I have since gotten down to 25 mg. and switched to subutex, strictly because I thought I would prefer the privacy of a doctors office over standing on a clinic line any longer.

[mr.lucky66]

I'm saying that the methadone addicts of today are often like that. When you and I were on it , things were much different. Now with many doses over 100 how could someone not be sedated and sweating? I don't believe we should give a drug that much credit to say it saves a drug addict'as life. It's just a tool and one that can help as it did in your caes, but is often overused these days.

[sunshinedaydream3]

Sorry it takes me so long to respond.  I don't have internet so the only time i can get on is at work or school.  Also, i only have a minute and I have a couple of PMs that i will not have time to respond to till later today.

As far as sweating and constipation - i've got that on sub.  Although, a friend on sub (from methadone) said his constipation is way less on sub.  I've had bouts with it, but have gotten in a healthy routine.

bmdad

very well said, and i appreciate your post.  as far as AD's.  Im not really sure.  Although I am paranoid about mixing meds as it is - because of a few close calls.  As far as Doctors helping - I am sure that is true.  But, my sub decision was spur of the moment and he was the only one without a waiting list over a few months.  I see why now.  My induction lasted all of 5 minutes and left with an rX of 60x8mgs.  It is supposed to be a process in which you are dosed, monitored, dosed monitored, etc.  every appointment since has been less that 5 min with my Script sitting on my end of the desk when i walk in.

Gnarly

don't worry, i didnt take your comment as a slam, i really appreciate your insight.  You said it kept you on the job 3 yrs longer - did you stop because of pain, retirement, or because of the methadone?  As far as the sex goes - i used to be a sex maniac, lol.  Sub has definately taken that away from me.  I have almost no desire anymore.  Every once in a while i'll decide heyyyy i wanna get laid tonight.  But - that used to be every night.  now it is prolly every couple of weeks and im ONLY 24 .  Jesus.  And like i said, I already struggle with sweating and constipation - but i am also depressed.  From what i've read your lesslikely to at least feel the depression on methadone.  thanks again.

Bev

Thanks for your response too, i appreciate the insight.  I live in the deep south, pretty rural around - although i am in a college town.  heroin is not near as available as it is in the inner city.  The vast majority at the clinic here are OC and Dialudid addicts.  Now, I am not saying OC addiction is worse then heroin.  But, my life was almost as bad off as some heroin addicts i am sure.  

As far as other routes - i've tried the meetings, counseling, and just abstinence based treatment for about 1.5 years.  i've now been on suboxone a while.  I hate it.  My only options are abstinence based treatment and methadone.  That 1.5 years of trying ( i know seems short to alot) but it has really takin the life out of me.  I got to the point where i was so dam tired of trying - which is why i decided for sub on the spur of the moment.  Since then, i have gone through alot as i said and I have alot of things i need to work on.  I know methadone is not the awnser to that.  But i also know if i quit sub right now and try to go back to trying on my own then I will relapse.  

I know many say that they will keep their methadone dose down, and dont stick to it.  i did well at keeping my oc down for most of my addiction.  and will try the same at the clinic.

i still havent decided and will have at least another couple of weeks to think things over.  

Mr lucky

Thanks again for your insight as well, much appreciated.


Thank you all so much

[casey73]

I am interestd to read all the responses you are getting re methadone....maybe it is differenr in the states. I live in canada, and while I ncannot claim to know how it was in the past here & now it is actually very simple. I found out about methadone from my friend who is in jail....we were togeather for may-july 08 and again april-nov 09......people will be surprised to hear that he is not really my boyfriend...more of a drug friend....I have been on my own so long since my husband left in 2003, that honestly it just felt good to have someone there...and he was .....we did a lot of drugs togeather, and there was nothing i would not do to make sure he wouldnt get sick.......mind you he refused to go on methadone (thou as i say he was the one who told me about it ....he had tried it before & didnt like it).......my addiction was synthetic heroin....(dilutid, & hydromorph)....sorry to be dumb, but what do you mean by OC//oxycotyn???....i'm just not sure as up here for some reason synthetic heroin was pretty much it.....i have never seen actual heroin, much less done it.

Anyway sorry to digress, re methadone....it is actually very simple to get. In June of 2008 I took my two other friends (the guys that got me on it) to the methadone clinic with me. When they said they wern't taking new patients i put up a fuss and fortunately we all got in. All of us had the same addiction me for 7mo, them for about 2 years. We alll go about once a month, and as said in my prev post for quite a while i was still using sometimes almost every day (when W jail friend) other times only a few times a month.....for the summer of 2008 i completly quit; but as i still had some money to work with got into coke.....things were ok for a bit as initially they realize you will be using to some degree, but after year one is over i began to get comments from the dr such as we need a clean urine sample.  (or we may have to cut u off) ..so i tried to comply....now that my friend is gone that is fairly simple to stay clean.....its just lonely. I think I miss him more then the drug and in a way feel like if i do it he will be there...(magical thninking?).........

Methadone itself is not too bad though. It will not unfort get u high though. All it will do is keep the sickness away, and yes there is truth to the constipation/sweating rumors. I find the constipation killer. However I dont know if u found this, but i was also very constipated when on pills.....in fact i know of a guy who does pills all the time who drinks half a bottle of citro mag ( a purgative that cleans u out)  2x a month......I drank a whole bottle yesterday and felt a bit better, but i guess my point is that constipation is a problem wheather u are on methadone or pills(dilutid/hydromorph).....dont know about OC or heroin.As for the sweating keep your dose down. I was started on a cycle of 30/45/60/75/90 ml with 3 days at each level and the idea being to stay at 90. They cannot start you at 90 or 75 as it could (at least in theory) kill you and it wold be their fault. This is also the reason why you must not miss more then 2 days in a row....Often people will intentionally miss a day or two when they are going to get pills as the methadone blocks the rush. But if u miss more the 2 days running you are cut off and must go to the dr again. Here in canada methadone is prescribed at regular drs offices, but only at very select ones. i am fortunate enough to live a short drive away from one, and people come to it from all over the province. As for getting methadone you just pick a pharmacy, give them your script and make the commitment to be there every day. You may want to check into exactly how it works in your area, as I know I was scared to get on it for a while due to stuff i had seen in movies (sid & nancy etc. ) and thought that everyone would know. It is really very discreet. I just call in a few min before i come down so they will have it ready, then go into the pharmacy & go over to the window and say "hi"......Since they all know me they all know why i am there, so they just bring over my methadone (mixed with tang in a brown bottle), i drink it, initial my name & leave. Very simple. It is covered by pharmacare in canada, so in many cases depending on your income it may be free.

Sorry to go on  & on, but this is a topic i know quite a bit about. I  also want to say thanx for your post on my topic, and yes u are rite....take homes will be a big advantage.I hope that things are not too complicated re methadone where u live. Sometimes i think the steriotype of a big lineup of addicts waiting for methadone is what keeps people away from it. While that may be true in some places it isnt always.....(see the movie Candy)........


Best of luck to u and everyone in our situation!

casey

[lashamummyof2]

Your post made me cry. I don't know why. I know the hollow, the pain. My brother is dead from OD and I just got clean from oxy w a 2 year old and a 5 year old. God, my life seems perfect. I'm almost happy and that's good enough for me.
Whatever decision you make is right and no one will judge. I will re-read the posts tonight and give you a better answer (I am no stranger to addiction and pharmacology, maybe I can help, even a little). Right now my kids are yanking at my pants and they need me now. I've been abused, robbed, humiliated, been down all those roads, won't lecture anyone.
You just touched me for some reason. Maybe being off the oxy (the wd was brutal) is making me feel things again. Anyway, you're not alone. even at 3 am, someone is on this site - you are not alone.

[kiylen]

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