Any Advice Would Do - Norco & Vic W/D & Addiction

[InNeedOfDevineIntervention]

Good afternoon to all and I thank you in advance for your time and any responses I may receive.  I found this website, starting reading the posts, and realized that maybe someone, somehow, out there may be able to help me. I am a female and have been on Vicodin and Norco, alternatively, for over 7-years as a result of a skiing accident in which both legs were fractured and my left knee was a complete dislocation.  In any event, I am educated in both the medical and legal field.  Even given those opportunities in my life of education, I am addicted.  My family members were abusers of different genres.  I did not choose to become addicted to pain medicine, it was what the doctors felt they needed to give me (and continue) to give me as a result of my accident (Please, I am not blaming them).  So.......here goes:  I am up to 6 to 8 Vics or Norcos a day.  Someone in town knew I had them in my car and stole them.  That's when my addiction became oh too obvious to me.  When I had none, after having them for so long, I went through EXTREME w/d's.  After about 15 hours or so of WDs, I called my Dr. and told him/her what happened (which, in fact, was true); gave them the police report number, the reporting officer, etc., and they called in a refill.  Ah, relief !  Okay ........ more truth ........ not only was I taking what my doctor prescribed, I was going to the street.  I sit here in front of my computer and RIGHT NOW my phone is ringing.  Its my connection.  I am not answering.  I don't know what I will do.  My spouse would be so disappointed in me.  I need help, any help.  Thank you again for your time.  ~Me

[YesLife4Me]

Thanks for coming back!   I was wondering how you were doing.   Your story sounds like so many others stories on here, just different players, but pretty much the story of family addiction, emotional and physical pain.    You can send me a message anytime you want someone to talk to.   I keep close to this site because it is a huge help to me.   Even responding to others by being supportive reaffirms those very same things to me.   We are all in this together and you are in no way alone.   :)   D

[InNeedOfDevineIntervention]

Okay, I am back.  Its been rough and I am still using.  Obviously, I would not be here if I did not want to stop.  Thanks again for all replies so far.  So here's my story, if you are interested:

My immediate heritage is Russian.  All my family members are addicts.  background.  I am 1st generation American.  I came with the genes of my forefathers of addiction.  My 2 uncles and cousin committed suicide via depression.  They were also alcoholics.  Two of my three brothers died; one at the age of 6 and the other at 11.  My living brother is an alcoholic and soon to meet his demise.   I will not get into the "other" parts of my life just yet.  I read the posts here and I just want someone to talk to.  I have been to NA/AA - I believe in a "higher power.".  I will die if I don't get help, like all my other family members.  I do not want sympathy, just someone to talk to.  AA/NA did not help - I cannot stand talking about myself sitting around a table with strangers who want to "hug" you every time you walk in, liking you are family.  Thanks for reading.  Me

[InNeedOfDevineIntervention]

I have a story to tell.......its late where I am and I am tired and not feeling well (as you all may recall).  Once again, I thank you for your support and will write soon.

[YesLife4Me]

Thanks for posting back.   We all know what you mean when you talk about the withdrawals.  I think that's how all of us came to realize we had a problem as well.... when the pills ran out and then we took one and felt better.   Can you get someone to help you with a taper plan of some sort?    I mean someone that can hold them for you and only give you a set amount for a certain time and then gradually lower the amount you are taking to help you not suffer the withdrawals?     I can't trust myself not to cave in an take them, so that's why I ask.  

Otherwise, you Dr may be able to help you get off them by prescribing clonodine which helps with the withdrawals so you can function.  

There is life without the pills, it just takes doing the work (taper, Dr help, or cold turkey) to get there.   It's not going to be easy because your body is wanting them now, but you have to want to be done with them in order to be done.   You can do this!   :)

[InNeedOfDevineIntervention]

I am not sure how to respond, as I am new to this, but I hope everyone who responded to my post will receive this.   Also, THANK YOU so much  ~ I certainly did not expect so many and so soon.  Okay ........ yes, I still have a prescription and, in fact, the doctor just called it in today. (I have yet to pick it up.)  I guess what I am trying to get at is the fact that I had NO IDEA how my body would react (even being in the medical field) to not having these pills.  Since I have been on them for so long, when I did not have them, I personally had no idea how my body would deal.  After only going through 1, yes 1 day without them, I could not function.  I could not work, could not be a Mom, a sister, a wife, etc.  I literally could NOT function.  My mind was working against me, my body, my life as I knew it.  I suppose I came to this site in hopes that just ANY word from ANY one would help me to understand how to handle this because, after going through 1 day of WDs, I keep taking them to not have to relieve that day when I had none. I want my life back before the prescription.  Thank you again ~ Peace

[YesLife4Me]

Teresa and Vicki are right.   I have run out so many times and tried to convince myself that I was done with them too.   The truth is, I wasn't ready to be done, just out and trying to convince myself I was done.    Because of that I rationalized my pain was really that bad and that I really needed them.   The truth is that the pain is more often than not, worse on the pills because you have built up a tolerance to them.     It sounds to me like you want to be done or you wouldn't have posted and not taken your connections call.  That's a start...  please post back.  

[vicki595]

Hi there-  First, are you still in pain? That's going to make a difference with how well you can put them aside.

Your use is not big but it sounds like you've lost control. You'll get it back! Do you think you could taper off?  It can be difficult to comply with a taper but it's easier on your body and mind...

Post back!

[Teresa1717]

Hi and welcome! Are you out of them now and wanting to stop? Or stopping because you are out of them? That is the question everyone needs to answer for themselves before they can really know if they will beat this. Either way you are in the right place and we are all here to offer guidance, support and answer any questions you might have!

First thing you need to do is lose your dealers number and Block him from calling you! You will only relapse if you dont! Cutting all ties with yoru sources is absolutely necessary.

We have all been in your shoes and know what this horrible disease feels like. Your not alone and we are here to help! You can beat this thing!

[Norco1947]

Hi , Welcome you have found friends  , Your story is the story everyone tells when they find this site .
I was takeing 100mg a day Norco when i found this site .
With the advise & support i received here i am now 49 days off Norco pain pills .
This can be done , You can do it , Post questions for help ....  Ron

[YesLife4Me]

Glad you found us.  Are you out of them right now?   You say you got a refill but your connection is calling.  Are you trying to stay off them now.   How long ago did all this happen when they were stolen?  Have you been trying to kick them since?  Does your spouse know you are abusing or getting them elsewhere?  

We've been there, done that.  Don't feel alone.  

[buddycrunch]

OK,  keep reading these forums, you are no way alone.   Many on here could play the role of your husband so you could practice.  Although we are addicts so might relate better.   Others have worn your shoes, that you have on right now.   Stay calm, is the most important for the first day.   Ask questions, and you will get answers,  First 48 hours, post a bunch!