please help me

[unheard70]

I am a 37 yr old female. I am a single mother of a 13 yr old boy. My parents died (murder,suicide) when I was just 14. I have no extended family. My son's father is in a different state and has no contact with us at all. I couldn't even find him if I tried. My problem is that I have borederline personality disorder, I am bipolar, and I have lupus. I have prided myself on relying solely upon myself and I must say that I have done quite well for the most part. 9 years ago I made the worst mistake of my life by getting involved in a relationship with a man who owns a few well established businesses with a very well to do income. He got me into cocaine...BAD MOVE on my part...we were married 2 years later. We have been married for 7 years. I do cocaine every day of my life. He still lives with the mother of his kids whom he was never married to because he says his 21 year old daughter, who at 12, didn't get along with my, then 4 yr old son, will run away if he moves in with me..so he comes every morning and leaves cocaine at my bedside....he feeds me when I wake then gives me cocaine til he leaves at 7pm, then he leaves me a pile of cocaine to get through the night. I am in no physical condition to work, I can no longer care for myself and I have gone over the edge many times......I have LITERALLY BEGGED HIM....not to give me anymore cocaine....I have BEGGED to go to REHAB.....We have no medical insurance, so I have been dealing with my lupus and mental illnesses on my own.......I don't know what to do...If I was handed a miracle of being able to get medical attention and rehabilitation..I am faced with another dilemma...no one to care for my son while I recover....I do not want him in foster care....I refuse that as an option.....HELP ME PLEASE..............I have lost my independence, my confidence, my beauty, and my will to live...... ALL OF MY CRIES HAVE FALLEN UPON DEAF EARS............................

[liscamdave]

I agree with you, she does not sound strong enough to flush anything away to turn her husband away. But she came here for help. Regardless of how bad her situation is, she didn't need to be told that she should be locked up. And if it was Rehab you were suggesting, and WE got it mixed up, why on earth would you refer to it as being "Locked up"??????? The woman is scared as it is, so referring to rehab as being locked up is supposed to help her??? That is far beyond touch love. Spare me the pity party....no one is shunning you.....

[jenny8575309]

And if you guys read what I wrote, i also asked her if she was stong enough to do it w/out rehab... Is she strong enough to flush it and tell him to quit giving it to her?  some of you guys are too hard on people that just want to help.  It's called tough love.  I hope she is strong enough w/out rehab, but the story didn't seem like it to me, and her post led me to suggest a more drastic option.  She even said she wanted to go to rehab!  but if you guys are going to shun me, maybe I'll just take my *** outta here.  Thanks for all the help guys

[wickedwanderer]

no, you suggested she should be "locked up."  that's not the same as suggesting "rehab."

[jenny8575309]

just used the wrong word that's all

[jenny8575309]

What is so bad about suggesting rehab?  OMG!

[IBKleen]

Is anyone paying attention? What? Like 17 posts here...NO response from the person who posted...let's move on folks..what do you say?

Imagine if you were the person who posted, and you walked away for a day, then came back, and you saw this???? This is sad........

Who the hell are we to judge if this is real or not? Let's pretend it is....

When I came here..I was lost, confused..it was YOU folks who guided me..

Where are you now???????

I am disgusted.