still using

[madcapo12]

im sorry i let so many people down .. my head says stop my body said NO
sometimes by the time i take something i dint even remember doing it ..
i tell myself thats it.. but then i also say one more day wont hurt.
ill stop tomorrow.. i have stopped before but i always seen to get but lattly
i feel my only way out is death.. that way i cant hurt anyone any more. Ive tried over and over.. alone by myself
and ill alright considering.... what u have to go throw.. to get clean..
i just feel like dieing.. what scares me right now is the fact that ..
after say it for so long ive to belive nows the times if any so
  thanks for all the people in my life that tryded to help me
see things .. just i just cant see happen

[Tamethepain]

Don't give up! I've been an addict for 20+ years with 15 off vicodin. 5 years ago I had an accident & have been taking 20 norco a day. I run out every month, detox, give up after a few days & go back to my dr for more. I have chosen life again & I'm on day 6. Life can suck but there us so much good. Do you love anything besides the drugs? Find it & focus! Get thru this one day, hour, minute, second at a time . I am praying that you'll find your strength & higher power! GET YOURSELF TO NA!

[madcapo12]

ahhhhhhhhhhhh !   really wahts the point any more.. im a mess...... ill aways be a mess.. im high right now.. someone asked what i take .. well... if im drinking ill take vics and roxys..smoke pot   ... till i cant fuction.. if a friends got heroin u wont see me for days.. if im drinking beer only i can take  up to 12 vic 10s and drink all night and never get drunk.. as far as the roxys.. i snort them .. have thought about shooting them .. so u see i used to just take morphine,, and i did not drink.. now i do it all ..

[Charetti]

Whatever you have been doing is not working for you....so change it!

[bandjusa]

madcapo i feel your pain once ur addicted to some hardcore stuff u feel like life is pointless and the only way out is death.....UR SO WRONG... ur addiction has overtaken all of ur rational thoughts u need more help than the average person yes but ur not hopeless  i was hoplessly addicted to heroin over a gram a day just to function!! thats no joke my detox i thought i would rather b dead too but my family and fiance showed me there is more out there its just your addiction if u have kids or any loved ones please dont go through with your ultimate plan it may take time but things will get better and u will start to enjoy normal life... we all r praying for u

[sweatinit]

Hey Cap, Listen we were all a mess at one time. some worse than others. Everyone on this site supports one another. Read through some posts. You can see and hear the desperation in all of us. There is a better way and sometimes it takes a few times to get it right. Keep posting and we will help you as much as we can. Life isn;t easy, but no one siad it woudl be. We have the ability to create our adult lives how we chose. Please chose life and walk away from the life of destruction. You are young and Im sure have so much to offer.  You never know how you can help someone on here. A girl that posted above helped me so much last night. You can do this. hang in there and keep posting.

[Tamethepain]

This may sound stupid but do you have medical insurance? Even if you don't, I think you need to get to the ER & tell them you are overdosing & suicidal. They may do a rapid detox or at least admit you! You are not safe from yourself! Please don't give up! Life can hurt & be messy but it is only one day you have to get thru! If I had to imagine no drugs for the rest of my life I might as well go dig a grave & lie down in it! Do it in steps. A second. A minute. An hour. A day. That's all. Focus on today not tomorrow.