I felt it necessary, to right about my experiences of codeine withdrawal. Encase anyone has decided or thinking about doing it. I was on probably 30 tablets a day of codeine phosphate 30mg codeine and 500mg paracetamol. So that works out a day 900mg of codeine a day. I decided to quite for several reasons.I had done so many disgusting things to feed the habit not only was i getting 56 tabs a week on my own name I was getting 224 a month in some one else's name too. They did now. so that's 450 tabs a month plus I also purchase nurfean plus, solpadine max, cough medicines, paracodal. Anything with codeine in it. I even took out of date meds. Shocking I tried to cut down and even put meds in safe. But I picked the lock with too hair clips. Mission Impossible style. I lived like this for three years solid. Every day. I denied it most of the time to myself but in the late hours when my family were sleeping I prayed to god. I told my mum in my praisers I was sorry and I knew I would die. And the thing is I dint even mind. I had lost my spirit, I had lost my memory through codeine. I had lost my body functions. I was a slave. I was in a bubble. Just me. and codeine. On Christmas eve 2009 I was caught by my husband, he was shocked and I told him everything. He hid the pills but I found them and started taking again. Our new years resolution was to make 2010 different. I thought maybe I could make it different but still take the pills. I needed them to function, to feel to live. To handle my day to day life. My husband said you need to. Were will it end. I spilled my guts and told him everything, he cried. I cried. I told him I would stop monday this was saturday I had 150 left I could binge for the last time and then I thought no. I dont know why or how I came to the decision. I looked at him and my son was asleep. I said no I am ready now.On the 2nd January 2010 at 11.00pm I put down the loo hundred of pills, I went through cupboard the lot. I hurt my thumb bursting them. I warned my husband what would happen. I told him I would accept all withdrawals.
DAY 1 NO WITHDRAWELS, KNEW SOMETHING WAS MISSING BUT DIDNT KNOW WHAT
DAY 2 LET THE GAMES BEGIN,
cold, hot, sweating, cloudy head, sore head, sore back, lack of appetite, toilet, sickness, shacking, sleeplessness, dancing feet, agitated , weak, emotional, sneezing, coughing, burning, Adrenaline. This lasted for me for 5 days and then slowly subsided. It depends I believe on how much you have used. I seen a man on raw codeine powder day 36 for him and still had sever symptoms like in day 5. Important thing is not to freak out. Remain calm. I told myself I had a monster inside of me and I kept saying to it, do what you want batter me up and down, cos you ain't getting any.
The emotional side of it wasn't what I was prepared for. I thought that's the withdrawals done, that's me ta ta. No that's when the heeling begins. Thats when you have to function, work, family, friends, day to day stuff without being high. All the memories codeine blocks out come flooding back. You are left with you mind, you can feel things now. And its getting use to feeling again that was the scarcest part for me.
I am day 15 now, and the monsters at bay. I know hell always be inside of me. I have an addictive personality. But I can go on and live a normal life. But I will just keep an eye on myself. Like every one, I just had a sore back and it turned it this.
Med Help and the people in it are amazing. And even though, the withdrawals are gone. I don't want to forget what happened to me if you forget you might do it again. So I think Ill stick around. Cos I have met some really cool folk and made some friends as well. And its always nice to know your not the only one.
My wings were once clipped, but now I sore high.
Have a great day folks