the one bad thing about being clean

[gizzy32]

since i have been clean i have stopped going out as much and avoid certain places that i know i will have triggers. well this is the one brutal parts of being clean for me. i have been boring these past 2 months, but tonight im planning on going to the bar. im already scared because i know the chance of those intense cravings coming and it pisses me off. im not going to drink or anything, i just want to be able to go out and have fun without having to be scared of these triggers. people don't understand how hard it is to stay clean.  i am a social guy and when i can't be cause of this addiction i get so angry inside, feeling like there is something wrong with me now. i wonder if this happens to a lot of you, or is it because of my drug of choice.

[gizzy32]

i agree, my gut instinct is always right and got worked up about being at a bar again, so im trusting this decision is right to not go.

indoor range, that's a great idea, i used to have a membership at one in the winter, but i have moved and its far away now. LMAO, i just hit 2 balls with my new clubs in the snow and it felt so good. cmoooooooooooooooooon spring.

[toxictome]

One thing i've learned over the years is to "TRUST MY GUT INSTINCT"...if you were not feeling good about going to the bar...it's probably a good idea you cancelled

[toxictome]

Hey gizzy...there you have your new goal...the pro card...i think i am going to see a movie this wk.end.. I may ask one of my friends to go or i'll go by myself..i have really isolated the past 2-3 mos( my AA freinds kept asking me to do stuff ) but before i quit the pills i just wanted to come home and get high, now i want to start living again and thank god they still ask me to go places and i will start doing that...i still haven't told them...maybe tonight..if not tonight...it will be next fri.



you did a great job getting home from the super bowl party...what  a big temptation!!!

[Jacqui805]

Are there any indoor driving ranges you could go to tonight?  Another option for getting out with friends is going out to dinner for a couple of hours in a fun-atmosphere restaurant.  You're not a tool.  I'm excited for you to start golfing again.  Imagine the feeling you're gonna have the first time you go?  That's gotta beat the drugs and all this **** you're going through.  Also, for now, you could try going bowling or something with the friends too.  It ain't golfing I realize, but it is a sport, and it does require aim and skill, might help.

[gizzy32]

well i just cancelled my night out, (to the bar anyway). its not a place i want to be at anymore anyway, and although i feel like a tool for cancelling now, i don't care. i just bought a set of golf clubs and can't wait to get to the course this spring. i have so many friends there, clean friends and this is where i am the happiest. i quit golf the past 3 years cause of my addiction, but this has always been my passion and where i am at peace. i even went to college for golf and had 2 people come to me as sponsor to help get my pro card, but that's when my life began to fall apart and i quit. just thinking about being out there again gives me goosebumps and i can't wait. there are better places to have fun than a stupid bar.

[dove3053]

I try to stay out of bars. Being a recovering drunk I don't need the temptation. In AA they say if you don't want to slip stay out of slippery places.

I have found I have very few friends or even family members that don't drink, so little by little I spend my time at home watching tv.

Dove

[hopsing94]

Gizz I used to go to bars alot myself. I would always go without the intention of doing coke. Once I started getting buzzed from the alcohol then finding coke was my mission. We all know what alcohol does to our inhibitions. Since your NOT drinking then you may be fine. You have done this before a couple weeks ago. You are one of the strongest people here. It's not just your drug of choice. I relapsed because of what you are describing right now. I also had a couple drinks in me when it happened. I don't really know what happened along the way when i quit doing coke but for some reason I was able to still go out to bars and clubs and drink without the urge to do coke. So I think once you see you don't need it you will be back were you want to be. Best thing I can think of is get rid of all contacts so when you go out you will know in your mind you can't get it so you won't think about it.

[gizzy32]

well im going to tell you guys something. i had to come home at half time during the super bowl, cause i walked downstairs to see 2 people doing lines of coke off a ping pong table. i lost it and got the hell out, and completely ruined my evening. my mind instantly changes in a split second and it seems like too much. i don't want to put myself in that situaton again, but honestly drugs are everywhere.

[BlottedOut]

just be careful at the bar, like you said your not going to drink and thats really good, i know when i get drunk then sobreity, goals, days clean from pills, nothing matters, i go out and get whatever i can find, pretty lame, but thats what alcohol does to me, of course everyone know it impairs your judgement, really you just dont care what happens lol, good luck, stay social and sober you can do both im sure of it you and everyone else on here have been great influences on me not because any of you all have quit, just beacause we are all trying, if you meet up with people that do coke remember youve came this far dont turn back now, good luck gizzy

[LIZZIE LOU]

dont give up on yourself gizzy...soon you will like the man that we all know and love :)

it takes time...and patience should be your best friend right now.

[gizzy32]

i ditched most of my friends to get clean, and the good friends i had before i used are long gone, i guess im embarrased to go to them and say im sorry, but now im truly clean. i always lied and said i quit and wouldn't show up when invited. i don't go to bars no more, very very seldom, but i don't want to say no, cause that make me feel handicap, it that makes any sense. i guess i feel like such a different person now, im trying to figure out who i really am.

[LIZZIE LOU]

good morning sweetie :)

this is a good test to see exactly "how" social you really are.  dont stop living because of becoming clean!!!  you have got to make the effort to find new friends, clean and sober friends.  

i can understand you wanting to go out tonight...just be careful.  if things get bad...run like hell...come here and we will help you through it.  is there anyone that you are friends with that knows what you have been through?  i was just thinking that maybe having a support system "with" you might take some of the pressure off, ya know?

have fun dizzy gizzy...

hugs,
kim

[traveladdict]

The weekends were tough for me for a while. My wife and I go out to eat allot and I liked to have the warm fuzzy feeling when we're out.  It settling down now. Although I am in pain I am not thinking about the pills much.  I changed my picture to one of me I think it is my best side.

[Clamity2]

Hi Gizz.  I can relate for sure. My husband told me the other day that a friend from work asked him to go hiking with him on Sunday. I felt jealous and insulted that he didn't ask me if I wanted to make plans first. But before this wds I always jumped at the chance to beable to use and do my own thing. It will take our familys time to get to know the new us. We need time to show them we are up for the fun times again.
Do you go to NA or AA meetings? I know alot of groups have dances, pinics, campouts, card games at different homes. There are alot of places to go besides a bar to be social.
I wouldn't go into a bar if you think its' a trigger.

[Jacqui805]

In my message to you earlier, I mentioned being sick for the past four yrs.  I am extremely social too.  It has been so depressing and life altering not to be with others, and even in my own family.  Every Friday night my husband would take my girls out to eat, 'cause we always did that.  When I got sick and couldn't be me anymore, it didn't stop everyone else from being themselves.  So, not only could I not go anywhere, but everyone was gone.  I have spent the last four yrs. alone.  I'm still sick, but was trying to make a better effort at getting around a little before these damned w/d s/s started.  It still sucks though, two weeks ago, husband took one of our daughters skiing instead of me.  I can relate.