the time has come, once an for all!!!

[jt808]

ok well enufs enuf, for those u who do not kno me ive been a addict or using since i was around 12/13-ish but the last 8/9 yrs ive been addicted to opiates started with vik,lortbas,norcos an at my peak of viks i was taking 60 (10/325) mg pills a day make a long story short i quite on off for so many times i cant even imagine so as of the last mayb lil less than a year ive stopped the norocs an have been using oxy/roxy about 3-4 80mg oxies a day by snorting or smoking em well ive been bad for a very long time an have wanted to quite for a very long time i was actually suppose to try go to rehab but i kept using an lost tht chance but as of tommorow im tryn this one last time and im not making any promises or guarantees im gona speak louder thru my actions not words cuz well lets face it ive been speaking big words for yrs now like many of u have heard many times before so now its time to put up or shut up, well before i nvr really thought much bout after care cuz i was so worried bout  the actual w/d's well i now kno tht the physical part is bad yes it is BUT it has nothn on the mental ur mind an this drug has such a strong an cunning fighter i kno tht i have to put aftercare in place ASAP an ive been thnkn of diff thngs to keep me as occupied as i possibly can be and heres just a few to keep my mind an body busy. first off i plan on getn thru the phsical than instead of being a lazy a-s-s im gona start working out and taking my dog  for walsk/ runs im even enrolling my dog into classes 1/2 a week to beter him an me, also join the gym, attend as many N/A/AA meetings as i can go to (even tho im not tht into em i kno itll help) im gona start playing in my sunday basketball league thrt i always use to luv playing in, see a therpasist twice a month an just try an b a beter person an not so lazy an down an out it may not sound like alot of things but belive me its alot more than ive ever put in place before whn i tried to quite the times before i just thought well i dont have to work at it im just gona do it an that s that  well its def not that easy an i kno i need lots of diffrent thngs to get me to were i need and want to be. so wish me luck i kno ill need it and encouragement really helps so tommorow is the hardest day of the whole process for me right before i start gettuing sick i start to panc an make calls to get high so tommorrow is always been the worst on me so ill need lots of strength tommorw so plz any words would be oh so greatly appreciated. thanks for all of u who have been there for me before and also the new members on this site u are all great loving people and hope all u the best an just keep me in mind tommorow afternoon cuz thst when im gona need it the most. good nite all.

[bmdad]

How's it going buddy? What have you decided to do for you next step towards recovery? How much more time do you have off of work?
I'm off to bed for now but usually wake up quite a bit due to my back pain so I will check in later.
Hope all is well.

Brian

[bmdad]

I'm not working tomorrow so should be around most of the day. So if you need anything, or just need to vent, send me a message. I recently relapsed but have about 2 weeks clean now so I just went through the fight myself and am still dealing with some lack of sleep and no energy. Luckily most of the physical part is over. So overall I am feeling pretty good. I have went cold turkey off of the 10mg and was taking a huge amount a day. I have also been through withdrawals from oxy 80's so know the fight it takes. We ALL have it in us. You just have to dig deep my friend. Tell yourself every second of every day that failure is not a option. This is somewhat your golden opportunity considering you have some time off. A year and a half ago I wasn't so lucky and had to work while withdrawing. That particular job I was working nights and working 12 hour days, 7 days a week. So use this time to your benefit. Trust me when I say it does get better. It is worth every second of the he!l we have to go through. So fight for your life as you very well may be doing. And you are worth it.
I live in a small town about 25 minutes from peoria. I'm about a 2 hour drive from Chicago. I usually make it up to Chicago a few times a year to go to Bears games. I didn't go this past season but considering the season they had I'm glad I didn't waste the money on it!! Man, what a tough season. I had such high hopes since Cutler came in as QB. He sucked it up though. But then again the o line didn't really help out too much. But hey, I'm a Chicago fan. I'm use to the sh!t *** seasons!!..lol
Well buddy, like I said, I'll check in as much as I can tomorrow. Feel free to message me whenever you need someone to chat to. I've also been up late due to lack of sleep so I'll check in at night also. I'll try and help in any way I can.
I'm pulling for you and know you can do this!

[jt808]

hey bmdad i just noticed ur from illlinois an if u dnt mind me askn i was wondern were from in illinois if u dnt mind me askn???

[jt808]

well i was gona an wanted too but like i said in my post i only had a small window to go to rehab i had a certain amount of given time off work thst mandatory an i was gona use to to go to rehab but i fkedup an was still using an missed my chance to go so now it sto late cuz half of my time off wrk is almost doen so my goal is by the time i go bak to wrk is to be totally clean an sober an already putting my aftercare to use an on a regular scedule. its hard to totally go in depth as to why i only had a certain time for it but basically i only had a certain amount of time off an i wasted half of it using so like i said enufs enuf so thank u sooo much for replyiong it really means alot an if u can try an keep me in mind tommorow cuz like i said everyone has certain days or stages tht are hardest for them an mine is rite befor ei start to get sick cuz i panic an start makin calls to find oxies. well thansk alot an good luck 2 u as well buddy.

[bmdad]

Best of luck buddy and congrats on deciding enough is enough! Just stay strong and push through the rough days ahead. So many have done it in the past, so many are currently doing it, and so many are getting ready to take the plunge. I would pick up the supplies from the amino acid protocol as they do help. So fight like you have never fought before! You can do this!
One quick question though...I thought a few weeks ago you posted asking about rehab because you were going to go again while on vacation? What happened with that? Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome you haven't given up and are trying again. Just wondered why the change of plans?

Best of luck to you!

Brian