tramadol - i'm dying :(

[summer_2010]

I have been addicted to Tramal for the past 2,5 years and I have decided to once and for all stop these horror pills. I took up to 400mg in one dose and later in the day I would take another 200-300mg..
Yesterday I took 350 and now I decided to stop these pills from hell. Instead I took some gabapentin and valerian root but I am not doing good at all.. The worst is a massive anxiety and tension I feel inside myself and I feel tempted to blow it out with valium but I don't want to swap addictions.. The tension is so bad that I feel like loosing my mind.. I can't afford going to a doctor so I guess I have to go through this on my own. As long as there's no pill supply around in my house.. I work in the medical field and have very easy access to trams without anybody even suspecting that i'm dealing with an addiction.
Please god help me!!!

[summer_2010]

Hell yeah!! F*CK that $HIT!!!!! :D

i never felt this intensely about trams in past withdrawals. The last time i had cravings all the time. Now NOOOOO

[ImDONENoMore]

That's exactly how I felt.  I was SO ready to say goodbye to the trams that I never looked back.  It's a good feeling isn't it?  FUC* that shi* - it's over and good riddens.  Life DESERVES to be felt.  Period.  :)

[summer_2010]

i am surprised how the time went by without huge cravings. I was always well able to see the trams in front of me without wanting to touch them. this is how much i HATE them. Today while packing I found 3 tram pills, took them out of the blister pack and threw them into the toilet. I didn't feel any regret doing this. Still taking neurontin in moderate doses to keep my mood levels up. they are definetly less toxic than the trams and I must say I feel ok. Spoke with my bf over skype and things may not be over.. i don't know what will happen though.. so i'm still taking 1000mg valerian root twice-three times a day against the anxiety. i have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder before i ever started the trams so i guess i need to learn from scratch again how to deal with it as the tramal made me forget about it for a long time.

Never mind.. tramal is in the toilet and i feel good about it.

I feel a little more normal today. Managed to pack 8 boxes for the move since yesterday i didn't get anything accomplished for my move back home.

Yesterday I was invited for dinner with some good friends. We spoke for an hour about my relationship issue and they helped me so much. After that we had a huge arabic dinner.. I was a little concerned how my stomach would take it as for 4 days I didn't eat anything. But it went fine. I ate slowly and even had some appetite.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I am really proud of myself to have gotten a week over withdrawals plus a breakup plus two 12/13 hour shifts..

I feel so ready to have the trams finished forever.

[ImDONENoMore]

OMG summer - you mentioned your near week clean as if in "passing" - don't "by the way" that girl!  That is HUGE!!!!

Feel proud of yourself - because you deserve to.  :)

[summer_2010]

Congrats to your new job. that is good news. and even better.. you can work from home.

i'm in agony relationshipwise so i don't really know whether these intense depressions are w/d related or due to the issues with my bf.. its probably a mix..

oh by the way.. i flushed the trams i had in the toilet.. i've been clean for nearly a week now...

[ImDONENoMore]

The sam-E worked GREAT for me - hope it does the same for you.  :)