dreaming of pills?

[tommm70]

Do any of you have dreams of pills? I had a dream I was on pain killers for some unknown reason, and I woke up with a huge craving. It is gone now, but man was it real. Anyone else have this type of thing happen?

[ILoveLukey]

Yes, yes, yes....I have woke up in the morning and remembered a dream that  was looking thru and counting pills to see how many I had left. WEIRD!

[Crispy]

wow awesome post catuf thank you for that

[bobby139]

Yes i still have them, a few nites ago in my dream i was taking a bath in pills?? woke up in a panic!
bobby

[road2recovery]

Your post are always AWESOME!!!!  Thanks for keeping us in check!!!
r2r

[CATUF]

in my experience, if you don't have "using dreams" you're probably not an addict.  on the other hand, having them is a good sign you are -- "normal" people don't dream about drinking or using.

i have using dreams all the time.  not as often as in early Recovery, but still frequently -- once every few weeks or so.  it used to be very traumatic for me . . . it often seemed like a relapse or a sign that i wasn’t serious about my Recovery or that i was doomed to failure.  worse, it made me feel like i was BAD.  i mean wtf????  after all that using had done to me and everyone who should have been able to count on me (for anything), how could any part of me still entertain thoughts of using???

i don’t think of them that way anymore.  they’re just part of my disease.  they don’t mean much . . . beyond they fact that the beast is still lurking deep within me, ready to come out in full strength if i ever let him out of the cage formed by active Recovery.  if i have lots of them, it probably means that I’m having problems with something . . . that there’s something i need to pay attention to.  my mind takes about any problem (including being hungry, angry, lonely or tired) and says “hey!!  you need to use NOW!!”  My disease is cunning, baffling and powerful.  it knows that these days a direct approach through the front door will yield nothing, so it tries to sneak in through one of many back doors.

i keep that particular back door locked by a) immediately talking about such dreams and b)accepting them as nothing more than a symptom of my disease - something i can be grateful for, least i take the notion that i‘m cured and “over” addiction.

one thing that i REALLY like about my using dreams is that they give me a chance to view my active-addiction with a clean and sober mind.  i get to see the insanity in a way that was not possible when i viewed it through the lens of active-addiction.  in my dreams everything almost IMMEDIATELY goes back to the way it was.  i usually start out with a decision to use, but just a little bit and just once – i “need” just a little bit to get me right.  then, as soon as i get it, everything becomes like it was.  not only do i suddenly need a little bit more, but my whole personality changes.  i shift into that mind where getting and using become paramount.  i start lying and engaging in deceptive behavior.  I start hoarding and planning for future use.  i start to worry about “having enough” and looking for opportunities for secret use. eventually i break off from everyone and everything and don’t care about anything but getting and using.

i find it helpful to see all that, to grasp its significance, with a clean and sober mind.  it can be a bit scary, but i think it’s helpful.

CATUF
1071

[dominosarah]

2 nights ago i was in front of Walgreens pharmacy wondering how to pull a heist off......thank god i woke up but was in a cold cold sweat.  Thought i was going nuts. That dream was so real.

[sadinmichigan]

OMgosh..I have had horrible dreams about this..I have had everything to the people (where I got my extra pills) showing up with guns..forcing me to take pills..and the worst was waking up to a nightmare of choking on a mouth full of jagged pills..I don't know what it means but I tell ya..thats enough to remember why we don't want them evil thigs..LOL  Glad I am not the only one..

[GoingToMakeIt]

Oh the blessed dreams. Yes, this is all too normal. Then they will switch to other areas of your life. all too vivid and real. They do settle down after awhile.

[cathy5841]

yes, i h ave not had one in quite awhile, but when i was getting clean, i had a lot of them.  that gets better too.  just hang in there.
cathy

[avisg]

Tomm ,YES I had one the night before last it was very vivid .I woke up craving ,it freaked me out . good news is this is the first one I have had in about 5 months.

[10356]

Oh yes I had a few I even woke up feeling high a couple of times!!