why do I feel so far from God

[tooter212]

I haven't been to church since I got clean. I got mad at the preacher. I was hurting so bad and I wasn't getting anything of out of it. I've always been afraid I wasn't saved but now it's 100 times worse. I know the bible and know that's not true but don't know why I feel this way. This depression is killing me. HELP I just went for a walk is the only reason I can write this

[ricart70]

I use the cold shower as a jump start to propel me into other activity.

[ricart70]

I have depression too and I do a lot of things to keep it at bay. I have to or it can swallow me. Some of the things I do are extreme and they can provide some extreme results. I got up this morning and it was before dawn and I could not go back to sleep and felt pretty bad. I went out and ran 3 miles. I know you can't do that but You have to get yourself a toolkit together that contains all of the things that You can do.It really helps just knowing that there are things You can do when you feel bad.
  That was great advice above by spider about cutting out the sugars and whites !!      

There is one thing also in my toolbox that provides IMMEDIATE results and it only requires 5 minutes and bravery to do it .
Get into the shower . Slam the cold water on and stand there for 5 minutes or as long as you can. YOU will not believe the change in Your attitude and also the temporary pain reduction this causes.  You will have a different attitude when you get out and it is temporary and usually lasts 20-30 minutes for me but it is totally worth it.

[ricart70]

I'm sorry tooter . I hope you have a good day soon and get feeling better .

[tooter212]

Well I went for a another walk. It's 220 steps from my back door to the mailbox round trip. This was my 3rd or 4th trip today. By the time you take in my trips to the bathroom, I've walked myself to death today. lol Must have kidney problem, going like crazy and not drinking that much. I need to drink more

[tooter212]

Oh I'm not going to do anything. To afraid of hell .lol  I just wanted to express myself. You can't mention anything like that to anyone without them jumping to conclusions so you just keep it to yourself

[tooter212]

Philly, I keep reminding myself of that. I've fought this many times. I know it in my head, just got to get it in my heart. I was told it was like killing Jesus all over again each time I got like this. Thanks for reminding me. That really helps. God Bless you