My wife has started drinking after 10 years of sobriety

[CEB1]

I recently learned that my wife has started drinking again after 10 years of sobriety.  She is a high level professional and historically a high functioning alcoholic.  There are several concerns I have.  1.  When my wife drinks she seeks attention from men and gives signs that she is available.  Self admits she is seeking validation from men.  This has led to very bad and painful events.  2. When I confronted her on her drinking (smelled it and friends talked to me) at first she denied, then she just said "yes, it is a personal decision.  If you don't like it, draw up divorce papers and I will sign them."  The concern is she is unapproachable right now and frankly everything in me wants to extend an olive branch, but at the same time I know I can't fix this.  I am in so much pain, I love her dearly and believe she loves me as well.  We have 1 son together 7 years old. And two boys 15 and 17 from my previous marriage.  

Right now she is doing exactly what she wants to do, no accountability to me and comes and goes as she pleases.  I have to assume she is cheating on the marriage.

I don't want to jump right into a divorce, but I am so uncomfortable being exposed to this much pain, sleepless nights, etc.  I know if I reach out to her she will push me away, but I have a constant urge to try and solve this.

Right now the children are ok, but since this is progressive dysfunction will increase.

Any assistance or success stories you can provide would be beneficial.  I would rather imagine this as a rough spot with a lot of pain, then a divorce and my 7 year old suffering through that journey.

I am currently attending Alanon and seeing a therapist.

[ibizan]

Wise of you to be attending Al-Anon and seeing a therapist!I have a concern @ possible STD's if she is with others...i assume you've considered this?Do you have a time frame for how long you will tolerate this and allow your children to painfully tolerate this as well?What do your children say?