Is this really anxiety?

[Bkelley94]

I'm a 23 year old mother of 3. December 23rd of 2017 I was going to sleep and suddenly awoke because I felt as though my heart had either stopped or I stopped breathing for a second. I then got out of bed and decided to bring myself to the emergency room as my heart started racing, I felt faint and lightheaded and was scared as I've had low potassium 3 times in my past and thought this is what it was. They ran a blood test at the emergency room where they said my potassium was a bit low but not low enough to cause symptoms and that it sounded more like anxiety. After that night I felt better until I went back to work in January after being a stay at home mom for the last 3 years and a week into working one day I felt faint, lightheaded, shaky, couldn't focus,my pulse was high I became flush so they sent me to the emergency room. Ever since then I'm constantly lightheaded off and on feel shaky internallt, weak and feel like I'm not my normal happy self and I never want to do things because I'm scared of what I'm going to feel. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I can't stop worrying about if I'm going to get these feelings through out the day. No Dr will tell me for sure if they think it's anxiety or not which scares me even more and I can't stop worrying. Any feed back is greatly appreciated as I have a 4 and 6 year old little boy and a 10 month old little girl that deserve their happy, fun mommy back

[specialmom]

Well, since you are tuned into it, you should gain weight.  Eating healthy is the most important thing.  Light snacks along with good solid meals sounds like a good plan.  I know I feel better when I get proper lean protein.  I found this low sugar peanut butter and eat that with celery sticks for a pick me up.  Things like that.  How is your sleep?

[specialmom]

Oh my gosh, we are twins.  :>)  That was definitely me regarding work and little ones.  But here is the good news . . . the kids get older and that part gets easier.  I am being totally honest in that you will have plenty of time to work without that overwhelmed feeling (as much) once your kids are around 5 or older.  When I was in the stage you are in, I was always very low on energy.  I had PLENTY of nutrients but not enough sleep or me time.  I say this and mean it, you have to take some time for you. Down time in which you are not kid responsible.  I did two things---  I had once a week a baby sitter.  For about 4 hours.  I got out of the house.  It was the best money I ever spent.  All by myself to go to the store, the mall, the gym, for a walk, etc.  If I didn't have the baby sitter, I had mother's helpers which are kids (often girls) around age 11 to 12 who aren't full fledge baby sitters yet but who would come over, I'd pay them 2 dollars an hour and they'd stay for 1 or 2 and I'd hide out.  Yep, upstairs in my room, door closed ignoring all sound from below.  (you have to get out of site or the idea of you time is ruined by the mothers helper and your kidlets hanging on you). The second thing I did was enlist my husband.  And he was reluctant.  He was intimidated by the kids as he had little kid experience and he also worked all week.  But I forced the issue.  Either Saturday or Sunday afternoon for a good chunk of time, HE was totally in charge.  When my two boys were toddles, they would leave the house and go do things.  Which was awesome because I'd clean.  Which doesn't sound fun but it got it done and I wasn't as stressed during the week.  The other option is to take a room a day to clean thoroughly on a schedule and always do the family pick up game in the evening---  put on music, set a timer for 15 minutes and everyone picks up!  Amazed at what all gets put away and how better the house feels after (plus teaching good habits to little ones).  Anyway, those are just some of my recharging your battery suggestions which helps so much.  I can't tell you

You are definitely thin!  Wowie, not sure of your height but you sound underweight.  Work on that!  Breast feeding takes it all out of you.  AND your hormones are definitely shifting around right now after child birth, breast feeding, etc.

So, hang in there.  This is a tough time on moms. hugs.  

[Bkelley94]

Thank you for your response. I really needed to hear that. As far as my height goes I'm 5ft exact but either way I'm like 10lbs under weight but when I bring this up to my Dr they don't seem to wanna suggest that me being underweight and not having the healthiest diet has anything to do with my symptoms. I'm now taking a multivitamin and taking st Johns wort and making sure I at least eat 3 meals a day to get my weight back up. I do not have an eating disorder I've just always been the type to snack lightly during the day and eat a bigger meal at supper but with the weight I'm at now I need to be eating more.

[Bkelley94]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I feel like I'm stuck not knowing what to do. I just left my job to see if this will make a difference on how I'm feeling. The problem is that I want to work but I'm finding it very overwhelming to be "super mom" and have a full time job. I've been a single mother most of the last 6 years of becoming a mom. I'm now back with the father but do not get much help and he works a full time job as a concrete worker from 5am until 6pm. I've also worn a 24 hour halter monitor to check my heart and the Dr said it came back better than hia probably did. The crazy part is I had no symptoms at all while I wore it except for very mild and as soon as it came off the symptoms were back. I'm also very underweight my normal weight is around 94 pounds and after breast feeding my daughter and not eating nearly enough Im down to 86 pounds and breastfed for 3 months. I have at high metabolism and have have thyroid checked and numerous other blood work and all came back fine except for I had a bit of anemia which they said after a 2nd check up came back better. I've had many things that lead me to believe it's anxiety as when I get really panicky and come on here and read others stories who are experiencing similar to me it calms me down quite a bit. I still feel as though something is triggering the anxiety that may be simple to fix but that the Dr is overlooking. I'm constantly having a heavy head kind of headache feeling when I'm not feeling anxious. I'm seeing a counselor but don't feel as though she's right for anxiety as she mainly has me talk to her about my life and doesn't really give much feedback or give much advice. I've seen 2 different Dr's for this and not many answers have been given. I just want to feel back to myself as I don't feel like me anymore the happy go lucky energetic person I was before this all came into play

[Meema98]

I am definitely no dr (although I am a LPN) but from my own personal experience, anxiety can make you feel all kinds of weird & scary things.  It also zaps all of your energy bc it’s like your body stays in a constant fight or flight state so it exhausts itself.   I go through weird spells where I yawn ALL the time.  It’s ridiculous & disturbing.  And, I can totally relate to worrying the minute your eyes open in the morning about how the day will be & how you will feel.  Sometimes (often!) I just want to lay in bed & sleep all day to avoid that feeling.  It’s quite depressing.  

[Paxiled]

Second the above, anxiety is the biggest downer I've ever had.  But something you just said concerns me -- it sounds like you're not eating enough to get the proper balance of nutrients, which can cause everything you're complaining about.  I don't know how tall you are, but when you're pregnant and breastfeeding you need more nutrition, not less.  What's your diet like and have you discussed this with your doctor or your counselor?  Do you have a history of an eating disorder?  As for a therapist, for me, only those who specialize in anxiety treatment will give you any hope of getting better unless something traumatic happened to you that needs working on.  You can sit and chat for years with your average therapist, they don't work very hard.  The theory is that just the psychodynamic interplay between therapist and patient works, but I don't think it does for anxiety.  Specific treatments for it have been developed and when they work, and there's no guarantee they will, but when they do, it takes a lot shorter time than chat therapy.  It also takes more work on your part, which is hard.  As for the heart symptoms you describe with the halter, that sounds like you had a placebo reaction to the idea you were getting some sort of help.  But the fact is, most anxiety sufferers don't actually have any heart problems, they just think they do.  If you look at the archives in this forum, you will see more posts about people thinking they have a heart problem than just about any other thing, and none of them actually did have heart problems.  Can't tell you what's going on, but again, your symptoms match those people who don't eat enough to get their essential nutrients have, so that may be a factor.  As I said before, if working is what you wish to do, I hope you learn to overcome this fear and get where you want to be.  Best of luck to you.

[specialmom]

Hi meema, welcome to your forum and that is a great post!  I agree with you.  And am so glad the poster can find help, comments and support from people who understand.    Anyway, welcome to the forum and hope that you come back and visit us.  

[Meema98]

@specialmom thank you!!  I’m a long time anxiety sufferer & here lately my anxiety has been out of control.  So, I googled some things & found this site.  It has really helped to calm my nerves knowing so many others struggle with similar things.

[Meema98]

Hi,  I am a 37 year old mother of 2 & I experience a lot of your same symptoms.  I suffer from extreme health anxiety.  I have been suffering from various forms of heart palpitations & have recently been to see a Cardiologist.  I am awaiting a 30 day event monitor to arrive in the mail to hopefully capture some of these scary spells I am having.  I will feel a fluttering in my chest & I will feel weak as water when it occurs.  It’s like my muscles go limp or something although I can still use them.  If that makes sense.  Very scary & strange feeling.  I’m so sorry I do not have any advice for you... just wanted to say you’re not alone.  Prayers for you!

[specialmom]

To the poster, I understand where you are at in life.  I hope you come back.  You can private message me.  I've been in your shoes.  Not going back to work is not avoiding life.  lol.  It's not locking yourself in your home as someone who has agoraphobia.  That is not what I was suggesting.  I had a rich and full and CONNECTED life as a stay at home mom and avoided nothing but stress so I could care for my family.  Again, totally optional and maybe not applicable at all to your situation.but conversations  get streamlined and side tracked here.  I just wanted to let you know that I understand and am happy to talk with you.   hugs

[Paxiled]

Just because a doctor said it wasn't potassium doesn't mean you don't have an electrolyte problem.  You can tell by eating foods that are high in electrolytes, such as bananas and apples and green leafy veggies.  Do you stay hydrated?  But assuming this isn't the problem, what you're describing sounds pretty much like what happened to me when I first got my panic attack disorder -- that's how I felt.  All my tests came back normal even in the middle of a panic attack -- was at work when i got one in my early days of developing agoraphobia and there was a nurse at work who told me not only did I not test for anything out of the ordinary but my blood pressure and heart rate were actually a bit slow, just where you'd expect them to be for someone lie me who exercised regularly and meditated every day.  Didn't stop me from getting an anxiety disorder, so there you go.  You should always rule out nutritional problems or other health problems that might be at play, such as thyroid, blood sugar, hormones, etc., before concluding you are developing an anxiety problem, but if it is anxiety, I'd get with a therapist who specializes in treatment of anxiety sooner rather than later.  As for the suggestion of not working and staying home, that's for you to decide, but if you do this because of anxiety that's avoidance and it can make the anxiety problem worse.  I speak from experience in that regard.  

[specialmom]

Speaking from one mom to another, avoidance is okay when it comes to being our best selves for our kids.  If working is a trigger and you can prolong your time at home, it's worth it.  I was in this boat.  I'd rather do without than add the additional stress when my kiddos were little of having to be super mom and do it all.  The pressure on a mother who works is something most men don't understand.  Because most men don't take on the level of internal responsibility for home life that women do.  Why that is, I don't know.  And I know that 'some' men do indeed take on equal responsibility. But rarely is to the extent that the moms I know do.  This is my circle.  Mom's trying to prop each other up during the tough years.   My anxiety and level of energy would not have allowed me to be successful at work or home either one if I had gone back to work too soon.  That's just me.  Avoiding worked.  :>)  But sometimes triggers can not be avoided and that's something for you and your partner to decide.  And for some friends of mine, work was a blessing as it also took away the anxiety triggers for a good portion of the day (the kid care part of the mom package).  Anyway, going from zero to 10 on the work scale all at once with little ones at home is hard to juggle and definitely very stressful.  Not sure if that is playing a role but would suspect so.  good luck

[Paxiled]

I'll just say, we all tend to put our own situation in a higher position of focus than that of others.  Everyone has problems.  Everyone has stresses.  Moms.  Dads.  Single folks.  Pressure comes some from outside of us, mostly from inside of us, unless you are in a suppressive environment.  Avoidance is always avoidance.  Sometimes it's really the only thing to do, because if you've tried everything and the anxiety didn't abate, you can't constantly pound your head against a wall.  That's not a life either.  Best of luck whatever you all try.

[specialmom]

Ahh, I'm so sorry!  I think after being home with our babes and then going back to work, women go through a lot.  And I bet you still have a lot on your plate at home.  You probably have all the child care and organizing and running of things for the kiddos, still in charge of the house, food, etc.  being a working mom is a 24/7 job!  And sleep can be hard to come by.  And you own YOU time or any down time at all that we all need to recharge our batteries.  

You do sound depressed and anxious.  Please talk to your doctor about it.  That is treatable.  But hard as you probably don't have any time to spare for doctors and therapy and exercise and meditation, etc.  I barely had tine to shower when my kiddos were toddlers.  

Is working for you essential right now?  Just asking.  It is for many.  But if you did better prior to having to go back to work, it may just not be a good time for you to juggle so much.  hugs

[AnxiousNoMore]

You got a fright and went to the Er which is a natural thing to do but they said your blood was ok. Now you worry about it a lot and continue to see doctors. Did they check your heart or just do the blood test?
Likely they are right that you are worrying too much, but I can't diagnose so it is just a guess. Perhaps a therapist can help relax you so you can stop thinking about this, and see if the symptoms really are just in your imagination.