Delayed anxiety reaction

[CFS56]

First a little background.  I have GAD, OCD and panic disorder. I have been in therapy for years and for the longest time had everything pretty much under control.  I have had a real stressful couple of years though and things have gotten kind of outta of hand.  But I seem to be having bad reactions to stressful events after they are over. This has happened to me twice now.  First time my husband had a quadruple bypass in Apr 2009. It came on very suddenly, everything was fine, I came home from work, he was having a heart attack and 4 days later he had surgery.  This really slammed me.  The day before he was to have surgery, I went into afib...I'm sure it was stress.  But anyway, I got it together, had to take care of him for about a month when he couldn't do anything and I was ok.  But in August I started having all kinds of heart rhythm irregularites, made 5 trips to the ER, was admitted to the hospital once and became afraid to go anywhere or be alone.  Doctors were pretty much convinced that most of my problems were stress related since nothing was wrong with my heart.  So I finally got through all that, haven't been to the ER for over a year and was getting my life back.  Then my husband was diagnosed with 2 aortic aneurysms that had to be repaired.  There was a 5 month interval between the diagnosis and the surgery.  I did ok but I was totally convinced that my husband was going to die either from the aneurysm or the surgery.  I was able though to go on with life and didn't let my worrying get totally out of control most of the time anyway.  Husband needed support and I was determined to be there for him.  So..he hd surgery 2 weeks ago and did great.  He seems fine.   Now I'm falling apart.  Can't sleep for various reasons, last couple of nights been because of heart palpitations, one night thoughts were running so wild I thought I was truly going crazy, yesterday I was pretty much paralyzed...couldn't even get dressed.  Took me 2 hours.  To make a long story short I'm a total wreck.  And I'm so concentrating on my heart flopping around that if I don't stop I'm going to end up back in the ER.  I know that I do 90% of that myself.
Why do I fall completely apart once something is over?  Why can't I relax and be happy?   I really don't understand why this happens, it seems very strange

[CFS56]

Thank you so much for assuring me this is normal.  Right now I feel anything but normal!  I have made an appt for Tuesday to see a therapist.  I am going to take your advice and dump everything on her.  I really need to get through this without my heart going crazy and ending up in the hospital like I did last time.  And the more you worry about palpitations of course the worse they get.  And not being able to sleep is getting to me to.,  I get in the bed and it turns into a torture chamber...heart flopping, thoughts racing, etc.  I have been taking ativan but that is certainly not a long term solution.  Makes me too spacey. And I can't take SSRIs.  So got to get through this on my own.

[nursegirl6572]

There's a very simple reason for this phenomenon, which is quite common.  Our bodies enact protective mechanisms during the time of extreme stress (like you've described) so that we don't fall apart and can deal with it....do the things we need to do, and so on.  Because we are given the capability of managing enormous amounts of stress during those rough times, the effects of those stresses and triggers almost always manage to show up later, after the fact....they don't typically just "go away", ESPECIALLY for those of us who have anxiety issues in the first place.  In a sense, it's frustrating, but it is also very useful, as it gives us courage and strength to deal with these situations while they are happening.  This is really a totally normal response to some significantly scary events in your life!  

Certainly, if you're finding coping with this stress/anxiety very hard, or it's getting to the point where the stress is affecting your ability to be functional (which it sounds like it is to a degree), then there is nothing wrong with seeking some help...it would probably do you a world of good to explore your fears and feeelings related to these events with a therapist. It would be very cathartic to "dump" your feelings on a professional...it helps to validate them, and give you support you may not be comfortable seeking from your loved ones, who are very close to the situation.

One great thing is...you have a history of anxiety issues, so you already know what works for you (or not) with anxiety treatment.  "Delayed" anxiety is 100% normal and quite common....just don't let it consume you before you decide to get some help with it!  There is NOTHING wrong with that!

Let us know how you're doing!