Anxiety and bullying

[michigan07]

I work in the healthcare field for a small non-profit in an administrative capacity. Most of the time I am able to roll with the punches between the people and politics of the workplace. There is however an individual who is in upper administration that has for years bullied others and is now doing so to me. The CEO despite being a nice individual who I can speak with, does not want to deal with the issue. This is not new as he has passively handled her the same way with others. To make it worse she has another director parroting her harassment as they are friends. I have expressed my grievance to the CEO and nothing has changed. I need to work to support my family and while I am actively looking for a different position it is not something I can jump right to and I hope and pray I do get a position I apply for elsewhere. This of course causes me extreme anxiety. I have dealt with anxiety for the past 20 years but this is pushing me back to times where it nearly laid me out for weeks. Part of this is me venting but the other part is wondering how you would go about this? The bully will not listen, the boss will not listen, and I need to work at this place for the time being. Thanks!

[specialmom]

Gosh, sorry to hear this. The thing that is important here is that even though the CEO isn't coming to your aid, they are aware. Just do your thing then. Put your head down and do your job and the problem employee that is harassing you will to have reason or back up for their complaints. Until you get another position elsewhere, just smile and act like this doesn't bother you. Be friendly with others in the organization EVEN if they don't return it publicly (because bullies make others shy away for fear they will turn on them).  As to anxiety, are you suffering physical symptoms? Would talking to your doctor help you? Overall, you can do things like exercise regularly, splash cold water on your cheeks or forehead if you get panicky, practice breathing. Every time you don't react to their actions, they go down a notch. And you are looking for a job so eventually you will be out of there. And eventually, the ceo may decide that the person doing this a problem and begin to step in more. I am sorry I don't have anything else to offer you but you just do your job to the very best of your ability. Every day. And exit when you can.

[michigan07]

Thank you for getting back with me. My anxiety is causing me nausea and GI issues which I try to counter with medication. I will try my best to hang in there but your advice is awesome and I will fight back with kindness. Thanks!

[specialmom]

Fighting back by staying on top of your job is a great strategy. If your anxiety is too much, talk to your doctor. An SSRI short term could help, talk therapy (now often done through phone apps) can help, practice mindfulness, breathing, etc. Good luck. I hate people that operate from weird places of hurting others.

[michigan07]

As a follow-up, next week I start a new position and the week thereafter an additional position (one is part-time and the other is full-time). I don’t need to work two jobs but the part-time one is with a suicide reduction non-profit and that work is personally important to me in helping others who are struggling with their mental health. I have been on the same SSRI for 23 years now but unfortunately there’s no medication for evil people lol. Thank you again for your thoughts.

[michigan07]

Giving my notice was one of the best things I’ve done. People think that because you are paid well or have a job that they can own you, that you are somehow beholden to them and it’s just sick. I was glad to walk from that place and this coming week is my last one there thank God

[specialmom]

So glad you gave your notice. And have a new position. Actually two. I think your part time work sounds quiet fulfilling. Let me know how you are doing and sorry all of that happened.

[michigan07]

I will add that the HR Director is basically a staffing recruiter who I spend part of my time assisting her within her capacity.