Depersonalization - Seeking help

[Mumbler]

I've been suffering from what I believe to be depersonlization for close to 10 years now. As a teenager I also experienced depression including suicidal tendencies and self harm, and more recently anxiety. I was seeing a psychologist for a while and she agreed with my self-diagnosis of depersonalization however it was getting too expensive to see her anymore. As it stands I would like to recieve further treatment but have been told that my only option is to see a doctor and get a referral. I however do not have a family doctor and very uncomfortable with the idea of going to a walk-in clinic to get a referral. Are they any options for me to seek treatment with a psychiatrist other than those listed?

Thanks.

[always hopefull]

hay everyone im a sufferer of dp/dr does anybody have how to cope tips ? without meds, ?
i would be very grateful of some advice, i just wish this would go away , ive had it for over 2 years now,i thought id got rid of the problem or more the symptoms had faded until i got into a fight last weekend, well more i was jumped in the street, and it brought on my anxiety , thus resulting in severe dp/dr, and depression , i was off all medication and now im back on the 20mg prozac and 80mg propanolol ., i feel a little hopless and like a failure :(
Dp/dr is just 1 of my many problems and i would just like to know how others are coping with it?
thanks
sarah x

[fuzzy882]

I thank you for this info. I know when I have talked with some people about this (year's ago) I know they thought I was sure a strange one. I will see my therapist next week and be assured that this will be #1 on my list.

Thanks Mumbler

Kathy

[Mumbler]

Hi Kathy,

It can be such a relief to put a name to something like this! It was so frustrating for me as a kid, thinking I was alone, not knowing what the hell was going on! There's also a similar disorder called dissociation. Of course I can't diagnose you with anything, and you can't do the same for yourself, but there's at least two names you can present to your therapist as a place to start.

[fuzzy882]

I would really like to "bump" this thread. So, there is a name to this? OMG,  This is something that I have also lived with since childhood. I have tried to explain this to my therapist and was not told of this name.  I dont understand how I missed this thread.  But thank you. Please stay in touch, this is very intresting to me as my father sounds alot like your's.

Kathy

[JSGeare]

Ah yes! The data we get from parents, fathers in particluar. How about THIS ONE:

"WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?"

Think about it. Our parents are psychologically HUGE. And, because as little kids, our mental slates are relatively CLEAN, anything at all that penetrates are growing little brains is HUGE compared to everything else, because "everything else" doesn't amount to much. Likewise, whatever attributes we happened to draw in the genetic lottery (which is a "fixed" game of course, coming from our parents, and theirs, and theirs...and... well, you get the idea) are going to have a much more prominent role in processing the early "data."

And SO, asking "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?" (in such a way as to suggest that something IS very seriously the matter) and asking that over and over again whenever we obviously have done something to make daddy unhappy is going to cause WHAT to happen?

Answer: we believe there IS something the matter with us, and take that suspicion along with us onto the next developmental pathways. Nice touch, dad.

Now, that's just MY experience -your's will reflect whatever attributes you were born with and whatever data was pushed through the slot in your developmental journey. In your case, you grew a special kind of shell, which interestlingly enough probably reflects with fair accuracy what YOU thought your parents thought about you -tell me if I'm getting warm here and if so, may I take a baby step forward?

Enough for now -it doesn't really matter if any of what I just said is accurate or true, and it doesn't matter, either, if your own recollections would prove to be accurate if we could jump in a time machine and go back to see what really DID happen. The reason it doesn't matter as to factual validation is that our concepts are absolutely the truth when measured by how we experience our lives and understand ourselves: they are psychologically and emotionally EXACTLY correct.

Which is why it is fruitful to connect the dots between now and then and follow the zig-zagging line to see what picture emerges when all those dots are connected together. And THEN, using our adult brains, we can re-draw the picture. THAT is what a good therapist can help us do, but therapist or no therapist, it is what we must do to put everything right again.

So, if there are more dots (or blotches) you can find, see where they fit into the picture.

And, by the way, in many cases the parents were themselves reacting to stuff that happened to THEM way back when and they may have been doing the best they could at the time, with you. Many times, we are talking about loving people here -and sometimes, sadly, we're talking about folks who were, well, otherwise. Either way, the beauty is that we can use our own brains to unring some bells here.

Really, really we can.

What say you?

[Mumbler]

The only explanation I've been able to come up with for what started this would be that my father was verbally abusive for most my life. I've heard of people with multiple personality disorder developing additional personalities as a coping mechanism for traumatic events. Depersonalization falls under the same category as MPD, but is not considered a psychosis. I believe that's pretty well what happened with me...to get away from the anxiety and stress I simply detached. And I appreciate your alternative points of view on the subject, its very difficult to describe sometimes so analogies and comparisons can be helpful!

[amish1979]

I've felt like this for the last 2 1/2 years

[JSGeare]

Got it! Sorry I was so thick about it -it sounded to me like a lack of identity may have been the issue, but that's not it at all; if anything, just the opposite. And yes, I know that sense of being about 1/4" along side youself. Your "doppleganger" makes its appearance. If this is a protective measure, it is probably not entirely a bad thing. You could almost make a comic-book superhero out of the concept -a character who is not really where he appears to be and is magically unaffected by attacks -bullets, insults, etc.

I'm not making fun of this, no, what I'm doing is using different ways to describe the sensation, the phenomenon, in an effort to better understand it. Your initial post was about alternatives for therapy. I think I would start with the mental health section of the local health department. They may be able to get you in with someone who works on a sliding scale of fees.

Meanwhile, can you say more about what was going on in your life when you were in 5th grade, or thereabouts -when all this started? Quite frequently there are events in our developmental years that sort of lie dormant until later experiences causes them to sprout. Can you think of anything "back then" that might qualify?

[Mumbler]

Thank you, it's reassuring even just to know other people feel the same way. I've actually talk about possible causes with a psychologist before...and we figured part of the reason is that my father was verbally abusive. As you said, my mind went into "protection mode" and sometimes I guess just gets stuck there.

[jess990]

I have actually suffered from this since 5th grade, I remember explaining just as you did to my mom. I think it is overstimulation of the brain, your brain becomes tired of, in my case, anxiety and goes into protection mode. I don't know if that is the case but that is how I feel! It does go away, as with anything, the less you think about it. Just remember that it is not you and you are waiting to come out. It is very common among anxiety sufferers.

[Mumbler]

Ah I understand a little more clearly now. My interpretation of depersonalization is as that of a disorder, under the category of dissociative identity disorders. Many people experience it differently but it is generally a strong sense of detachment from the self, feeling like a stranger in your own body. I've found myself doing things, talking, walking, reading, etc, and feeling like I also watching myself from a distance at the same time.

[JSGeare]

OK, let me start over. What does it mean to be depersonalized, how does one (anyone) get to be that way? How did YOU get to be that way?

(To me, "depersonalization" means to treat people as objects or things that serve some purpose, are here for our use, but have no value beyond their functional purpose and, accordingly, are not understood or appreciated as individual personalities.)

I suppose it would be possible to act this way toward oneself -but I suspect that someone else had to lead the way.

What more can you tell us about how you came to be as you are?

[Mumbler]

Hm...thank you I suppose?

I'm not I understand your question though. I didn't think someone can depersonalize someone else...or at least that wasn't my experience with it.

[JSGeare]

It amazes me -absolutely amazes me- how the names people select for themselves reflect a state of mind. "Mumbler" goes perfectly with "depersonalized." It says something, it really does.

I'm not yanking your chain or teasing you -I promise I'm not.

What I very much would like to know is: WHO depersonalized you? And HOW?