I am a 21 year old female. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I started Cymbalta about 4-5 months ago. This combined with clonazepam has completely countered my anxiety and depression. I no longer have panic attacks and have low anxiety, and very very rarely do I feel depression. When I started the medication, I was at 127 lbs. I am a very short girl (5' 1.5"). The Cymbalta made me want to start doing things again, like exercising and being productive in general. I had been very unhappy with my weight and started cutting back on calories and I now exercise every day. I make certain to get my recommended 10,000 steps, at least on weekdays. Most weekends I shoot for 5,000. I have kept this up and my goal weight was 110 lbs. I got there and was still unhappy so I made my goal weight 107 lbs. Today, I am at 106 lbs. My BMI is 19.8 and my body fat is at 15.64%. But, I look in the mirror and am still unhappy. All I see is fat. I even feel that clothes don't look good on me because my stomach is too big or something along those lines (this is the part of myself that I obsess over).
However, I'm not starving myself or anything. I tend to get hungry often, but usually ignore it as I have myself on a strict time schedule for eating. I generally have a bowl of oatmeal (1/2 cup with about 1/4 cup milk) with cinnamon and sugar or cranberry sauce for breakfast. I then eat a fiber bar at 1:30, a pb&j at 4:30, and a serving of pasta (56 g before cooking) with a cut up chicken strip in it and an apple on the side for dinner at 7:00. I also have a granola bar on my way home from work at 10:30. On the weekends, however, I typically eat too much. I will eat multiple large meals. Last week, I even ate 2 full pans of 6 cookies each. I tell myself I won't binge eat on the weekends but I inevitably always do.
Do I even have a problem, or is this normal? Do I have an eating disorder, or am I on the path of possibly having one? I would just like to know so that maybe I can change some things in my life. However, part of me wants to keep losing weight since I'm unhappy with how I look. Unfortunately, if I lose 6 more lbs I will then be considered "underweight". I would appreciate any advice.