Aa
Derealization or something else?
Hey,
I suffered an anxiety attack and all the sudden people looked less real. The world seemed flat and meaningless. Does this sound like disassociation, dr?
I hear stories of DR/DP, and my experience that I have been living with for 5 years is the perception of the world is "off". Like the world feels upside down and people look detached from their surroundings.
Does sound familiar at all? I first thought it was PTSD from losing my mom and having the anxiety attack. Your advice is greatly appreciated!
I suffered an anxiety attack and all the sudden people looked less real. The world seemed flat and meaningless. Does this sound like disassociation, dr?
I hear stories of DR/DP, and my experience that I have been living with for 5 years is the perception of the world is "off". Like the world feels upside down and people look detached from their surroundings.
Does sound familiar at all? I first thought it was PTSD from losing my mom and having the anxiety attack. Your advice is greatly appreciated!
Could there be a chance that this could be trauma induced and not derealization? I do feel like it's a sense of dissociation and detachment. But it's more like people look robotic. "Lifeless creatures". Is this something anyone can relate to? The world seems flat and lifeless. Like you are viewing the world behind a pane of glass. I also experience this when watching people on TV. So could this be part of my OCD?
Aw, thanks for the sweet words. I'm thrilled to be able to offer some solace to people going through anxiety, I've been there, and it sure is very very difficult!
Looking forward to reading your updates.
Looking forward to reading your updates.
I'll look into Zoloft and lexapro. Cbt would def be a good idea. But I think it's also going be on my outlook. I want to make this unreality a big giant monster. It will become that. If I want stop feeding it everyday, eventually it will break apart. If there is a heaven, I hope you have a place in there. You have been so helpful!
Oh absolutely your Mom's illness and then passing would have been a trigger. It sounds as though you've always had a good bit of underlying anxiety, and that event just sort of tipped the scales for you. I'm sorry for your loss, btw. I can imagine that would have been so very difficult.
For ME, it was going away to college. I did great all semester, and then one day (with about 2 weeks left in the term), I had a massive, full blown, terrifying panic attack. That was the beginning point of me being officially assessed, diagnosed and treated for anxiety. Being that I always had a lot of separation anxiety, I actually fully expected to have issues when I went away. To my surprise, I did amazingly well. I experienced some mild homesickness like anyone else would have, but for the most part, I was fine. I think the panic attack was a delayed reaction, it just came later than I expected, and was much more severe (really, life changing).
So, I DO truly believe that for a lot of people with anxiety disorders, there is a past history of underlying anxiety, and some kind of big, life changing event (can be good or bad) triggers the onset of the more severe, more debilitating chronic anxiety. It's at that point that most people cannot work through their anxiety anymore and move on. That's when we become "stuck".
You'll hear a lot of people say "it came out of the blue", which is for the most part, accurate, but usually, upon closer inspection, most people can usually pinpoint a trigger event, even if it was a while before the onset of the panic.
It sounds to me like you fit the bill pretty well as far as the above pattern goes.
For ME, it was going away to college. I did great all semester, and then one day (with about 2 weeks left in the term), I had a massive, full blown, terrifying panic attack. That was the beginning point of me being officially assessed, diagnosed and treated for anxiety. Being that I always had a lot of separation anxiety, I actually fully expected to have issues when I went away. To my surprise, I did amazingly well. I experienced some mild homesickness like anyone else would have, but for the most part, I was fine. I think the panic attack was a delayed reaction, it just came later than I expected, and was much more severe (really, life changing).
So, I DO truly believe that for a lot of people with anxiety disorders, there is a past history of underlying anxiety, and some kind of big, life changing event (can be good or bad) triggers the onset of the more severe, more debilitating chronic anxiety. It's at that point that most people cannot work through their anxiety anymore and move on. That's when we become "stuck".
You'll hear a lot of people say "it came out of the blue", which is for the most part, accurate, but usually, upon closer inspection, most people can usually pinpoint a trigger event, even if it was a while before the onset of the panic.
It sounds to me like you fit the bill pretty well as far as the above pattern goes.
Well, I'm glad I was able to help. It's good that you're proactive about the concern of addiction when it comes to medications. Luckily, there are many different medication options where that wouldn't be a concern.
The most commonly prescribed longer term meds for anxiety disorders would be the SSRI antidepressants, like Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, etc. Those kinds of medications need tapered if they are to be discontinued, but as far as them being habit forming, or have a potential for abuse, that's not a significant concern.
I would recommend finding a psychiatrist to discuss trying a medication. If I were to recommend a medication for someone who has never tried one, I would personally suggest starting with Zoloft or Lexapro. While everyone reacts differently to medications, those two are fairly easily tolerated by most people, with a good bit of success in helping to manage anxiety. Of course medications aren't a "cure" but most definitely they have their place in an anxiety treatment regimen for a lot of people. I think that's a very logical next step for you, along with therapy. If you can, find a therapist well versed in CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.
Good luck and please keep us updated. You're in my thoughts.
The most commonly prescribed longer term meds for anxiety disorders would be the SSRI antidepressants, like Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, etc. Those kinds of medications need tapered if they are to be discontinued, but as far as them being habit forming, or have a potential for abuse, that's not a significant concern.
I would recommend finding a psychiatrist to discuss trying a medication. If I were to recommend a medication for someone who has never tried one, I would personally suggest starting with Zoloft or Lexapro. While everyone reacts differently to medications, those two are fairly easily tolerated by most people, with a good bit of success in helping to manage anxiety. Of course medications aren't a "cure" but most definitely they have their place in an anxiety treatment regimen for a lot of people. I think that's a very logical next step for you, along with therapy. If you can, find a therapist well versed in CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.
Good luck and please keep us updated. You're in my thoughts.
My Perception thing was triggered by a full blown panic attack. I know the cause but not the cure. I'll really start listening to what you are saying. Things happen for a reason, and I think the universe is ready for me to get my life back!
If you follow the laws of attraction. I'm pulling you towards
Me because I need help. You have helped me more than most people have. I haven't tried medications because of I have an addicted personality. I will look into it though. I appreciate your help.
Me because I need help. You have helped me more than most people have. I haven't tried medications because of I have an addicted personality. I will look into it though. I appreciate your help.
I understand that internal battle. For us anxiety sufferers, it would be so reassuring if we were able to be given a solid, black and white answer as to why we're the way we are. It's just so hard to believe how life changing anxiety can be, especially when the cause isn't always crystal clear.
I've learned a long time ago that it's far healthier to try to find acceptance that we just ARE the way we are, rather than spending lots of time chasing our tails looking for answers. That in itself just causes more stress.
Unless a person has had an extremely traumatic past event that has triggered their anxiety, there usually aren't clear and concise answers. We can make assumptions, and deductions, but it won't always make sense to us. I truly believe that some people are just prone to anxiety, and that usually either a very stressful event, or big life change will trigger the chronic anxiety.
I've just learned to accept that I will always battle with anxiety. It's part of who I am, much like if I had diabetes, or asthma. It's a long term condition that will need managed forever, and there will be times where it's very bad, and other times when we're virtually anxiety free.
I've learned a long time ago that it's far healthier to try to find acceptance that we just ARE the way we are, rather than spending lots of time chasing our tails looking for answers. That in itself just causes more stress.
Unless a person has had an extremely traumatic past event that has triggered their anxiety, there usually aren't clear and concise answers. We can make assumptions, and deductions, but it won't always make sense to us. I truly believe that some people are just prone to anxiety, and that usually either a very stressful event, or big life change will trigger the chronic anxiety.
I've just learned to accept that I will always battle with anxiety. It's part of who I am, much like if I had diabetes, or asthma. It's a long term condition that will need managed forever, and there will be times where it's very bad, and other times when we're virtually anxiety free.
Thanks for sharing that. It won't surprise you that it sounds like our lives were very similar. I've always too been an anxious worrier, even as a child. I had severe separation anxiety, to the point where I would make myself sick with worry anticipating things most kids would be super excited for, like b-day parties, sleepovers, vacations, amusement parks, etc.
I agree completely that any changes won't happen overnight, you're right that it will take time to start making long lasting changes in the way you think and react. But, it absolutely CAN be done.
You didn't mention whether or not you've tried any medications? While I think that many people jump too quickly to medications, I think you would be a good candidate, just because of how long your anxiety has been affecting your life. The agoraphobia is debilitating (been there too). While it's very important that you do the WORK necessary to change the way you think, medications can be very helpful in managing the symptoms of anxiety.
I agree completely that any changes won't happen overnight, you're right that it will take time to start making long lasting changes in the way you think and react. But, it absolutely CAN be done.
You didn't mention whether or not you've tried any medications? While I think that many people jump too quickly to medications, I think you would be a good candidate, just because of how long your anxiety has been affecting your life. The agoraphobia is debilitating (been there too). While it's very important that you do the WORK necessary to change the way you think, medications can be very helpful in managing the symptoms of anxiety.
One last thing, where I get stuck and why I think it's lasted so long. I'm so back and forth if this what we call my personality causing this, or am I really dealing with something here? Now you can see why it's lasted so long. I'm focusing so much on fixing it rather than accepting this was caused by a panic attack and anxiety fuels it and keeps it going. I live in what ifs
What if it's me that created this? What if this is not DR. What if this never goes away. This is my essential anxiety trinity. I
Hope you understand what I'm dealing with.
What if it's me that created this? What if this is not DR. What if this never goes away. This is my essential anxiety trinity. I
Hope you understand what I'm dealing with.
My background. Wonderful childhood, pretty decent athlete. But I always was what you call the worrier type. I remember being 12 years old and worrying about getting brain cancer. I was exposed to seeing a younger boy go from healthy to in a wheelchair when I was like 10 and it haunted me ever since. I have had periods of what you call normalcy. But any time growing up I felt something off with mind and body I would fear the worst. I remember the whole aids thing and when I heard about it gave me a major panic attack. I thought I actually had it. It's funny now when I realize the amount of worry I caused for myself because life was great. I was 18 and had whole life ahead of me. Even in college I suffered terrible allergies and gave me these feelings of feeling out of it and hyper aware of my body. For some reason one day I just realized it's allergy causes and it eventually went away. So the More I think about it I have always had things i dealt with. Well now I really have something to deal with and my personality doesn't help one bit! This anxiety has morphed into something i could never imagine. I never thought I would be the type that felt panic as soon as I left the house. I never thought I would not be able to have conversations in open places and feel so terrible. I'm an extrovert and life was easy for. 25 years. Not saying dealing with my moms brain cancer was easy. It wasn't! But I still was outgoing and now this anxiety is crippling me! I just want my old self back. This dr has really effected my happiness. I know there is a key to end this. But let's face it. This isn't something that will go away overnight. This is five years of thinking a certain way and seeing the world a certain way that has to be reversed. And I need to really start as you say putting in my own work. Thanks for letting me share.
I feel like being exposed to places is a good way of teaching myself to face the agoraphobia. My anxiety goes way up and I'm already thinking it's going to be this way so I anticipate it coming. It's gotten so out of control. I'm an obsessive thinker , which doesn't help. Yes, it's been. 5 Years because I have been bouncer around doctors and no one
Seems to have an answer. Most people could let this go, but for someone like me who has a philosophical mindset to begin with tend to get stuck. I remember getting advice from a holistic healer. And she said, so what if it's there and doesn't go away. So what if the world seems off
The less you care about this thing, the less the grip it will have on you. Yes I agree, but it just never seems to go away! And I feel like no matter what I have tried it hasn't what you call disappear. There isn't a magic pill to make
Things look grounded again. And that's why we stay in the cycle. You worry about the fear, and the fear causes worry. Have I really tried though? No. I have fought it but not dealt with it. If that makes sense...
Seems to have an answer. Most people could let this go, but for someone like me who has a philosophical mindset to begin with tend to get stuck. I remember getting advice from a holistic healer. And she said, so what if it's there and doesn't go away. So what if the world seems off
The less you care about this thing, the less the grip it will have on you. Yes I agree, but it just never seems to go away! And I feel like no matter what I have tried it hasn't what you call disappear. There isn't a magic pill to make
Things look grounded again. And that's why we stay in the cycle. You worry about the fear, and the fear causes worry. Have I really tried though? No. I have fought it but not dealt with it. If that makes sense...
The way I tackled anxiety was multiple faceted. I was prescribed an antidepressant (started off on Zoloft, have also been on Lexapro, and Prozac at other times), along with an as needed script for Ativan for when the panic was off the charts. There were periods where I needed to take the Ativan every day, a few times a day, usually while I was waiting until the AD started working for me. I just recently went back on the Zoloft, as my own efforts to manage my anxiety just weren't enough anymore, and I was also suffering from a good bit of secondary depression, which definitely affected my daily life.
I also have been in therapy a lot. Therapy was the most effective for me after I was first diagnosed with panic disorder at age 18, because I learned so much. Now I go twice a month, and most of the benefit I get from it is the emotional support and reassurance, more than the educational aspect of it. Also, being encouraged and "pushed" by my therapist to challenge myself and set goals for myself helps me a lot.
I'd have to say though that I've seen the most improvements in my anxiety as a result of my OWN work. When I really push myself and throw myself into working on the anxious thinking, I do very well. I get to a point sometimes where I just get mad and fed up, and that anger actually is very therapeutic for me, as it allows me to more easily dismiss the anxiety rather than fear it.
Have you tried any medications? If you can give us a little more of a background, we can offer you more specific suggestions. I'm also a big believer in reading self help books. There are SO many, and they really do help SO much. Have you ever picked up any books about anxiety/panic or DR?
I'm sure you're very frustrated, as 5 years is a long time to deal with DR. I've never had it that long, so I feel for you. No doubt it can be all consuming, and while trying to ignore it is very helpful, it sure isn't an easy thing to do when your world looks so weird 24/7.
Hang in there hon!
I also have been in therapy a lot. Therapy was the most effective for me after I was first diagnosed with panic disorder at age 18, because I learned so much. Now I go twice a month, and most of the benefit I get from it is the emotional support and reassurance, more than the educational aspect of it. Also, being encouraged and "pushed" by my therapist to challenge myself and set goals for myself helps me a lot.
I'd have to say though that I've seen the most improvements in my anxiety as a result of my OWN work. When I really push myself and throw myself into working on the anxious thinking, I do very well. I get to a point sometimes where I just get mad and fed up, and that anger actually is very therapeutic for me, as it allows me to more easily dismiss the anxiety rather than fear it.
Have you tried any medications? If you can give us a little more of a background, we can offer you more specific suggestions. I'm also a big believer in reading self help books. There are SO many, and they really do help SO much. Have you ever picked up any books about anxiety/panic or DR?
I'm sure you're very frustrated, as 5 years is a long time to deal with DR. I've never had it that long, so I feel for you. No doubt it can be all consuming, and while trying to ignore it is very helpful, it sure isn't an easy thing to do when your world looks so weird 24/7.
Hang in there hon!
Hi.. I read your posts on Derealization. I had that. It went away. i concentrated on happy things. And exercised. And kept busy. Nature walks.
Listening on Pandora Reiki Radio. Breathing exercises. It all helped me. Eating better...
Hope this helps u a bit.
It will go away.:-)
Listening on Pandora Reiki Radio. Breathing exercises. It all helped me. Eating better...
Hope this helps u a bit.
It will go away.:-)
One last thing. Great point that once you stop thinking about how you feel. I'm so about how I feel constantly and it's getting better but it's a tough habit to completely get off yourself. Also , if you don't mind me asking. Did you get on anxiety medication to reduce anxiety? Did you talk to a therapist? Did you figure out cbt. Thank you for the advice!
Yes, but this perception thing is 24/7. And my DR started after a major panic attack. I would say I was in what you call denial. My mom was diagnosed when I was 18 with brain cancer and passed when I was. 25 years old. She was my rock and we had such a great relationship. A year after she passed I was sitting in the work cafeteria feeling really good. An older friend mentioned my mom and then BOOM. Like a lightning bolt hit me, I felt like I contracted inward and everything looked off. I was telling my coworker to call 911 because I thought I was losing my mind. People looked like cut out card board figures. I walked outside to self talk. All the sudden I felt a little better and thought okay that was weird but got on with my day. Well somehow the feeling and the visual never really left me. It was there as an unwanted friend. 5 years later and it's STILL there. So I would say my dr came from a traumatic event. And even though I'm pretty intelligent I can't beat this perceptual thing. Part of me is negatively fascinated by it. And the analytical problem solver has made this a 5 year puzzle. I anticipate it being there waiting for me when I go outside, even in an open banquet dinner, or anywhere that isn't closed off I feel terrible. I hope this gives you an idea where this feeling came from and maybe by some miracle you can help me get my quality of life back again. I'm in my thirties in good shale, good job, good women. But this thing I just can't win against. It has consumed me for way too long. Thanks for listening
Hi again!
I agree that you and I seem like we share similar experiences when it comes to DR. You pretty much described to a "T" what I've gone through with DR.
Like I said in my journal, the first time I experienced DR (before I knew what it was), my panic was OFF the charts crazy, and I was convinced something was wrong with my eyes/vision. I went to the eye doctor numerous times (they thought I was certifiable, lol). Then, I finally did some searching, wondering if anxiety could be a contributing factor, or a cause. I felt relieved when I first learned it was a REAL symptom. with a REAL name. A weight was lifted for sure. It was one of those "Ah HA!" moments. I loved those moments as I was new to anxiety and learning about it. It made me feel far less "crazy".
As for your questions, there can be numerous causes/triggers of DR, some cases can be drug induced, some can be after a neurological injury, some can be anxiety related.
Also, mostly there are just theories as to the exact cause (physiologically) of various anxiety symptoms, and DR/DP is no exception. There's no doubt that severe and chronic anxiety leads to DR, and no doubt that when the anxiety is finally reined in, the DR will improve and then resolve. The "shift" theory makes a lot of sense to me, but also, I get to a point where the "why" just isn't important, as long as I'm aware of a cause/effect relationship/
I've had it numerous times, and every time I finally got my anxiety/panic under control, the DR would start to improve, and for ME, most times I just realized one day that it was mostly gone. I personally believe that is due to us thinking about it and focusing on how we feel a lot less as the anxiety gets better, which in turn leads to the improvement/resolution of the DR. MY experience with it was a sudden onset, and a sudden improvement.
Hang in there, I promise you won't feel like that forever, and just remember, remind yourself that as crazy as everything LOOKS, nothing has changed, the world around you is the same as it always has been, it's JUST a perception. Kind of like if you've ever gone to see a 3D movie? For a couple hours afterwards, your vision can be a little off, and everything looks odd.
Keep in touch, we're here for you!
I agree that you and I seem like we share similar experiences when it comes to DR. You pretty much described to a "T" what I've gone through with DR.
Like I said in my journal, the first time I experienced DR (before I knew what it was), my panic was OFF the charts crazy, and I was convinced something was wrong with my eyes/vision. I went to the eye doctor numerous times (they thought I was certifiable, lol). Then, I finally did some searching, wondering if anxiety could be a contributing factor, or a cause. I felt relieved when I first learned it was a REAL symptom. with a REAL name. A weight was lifted for sure. It was one of those "Ah HA!" moments. I loved those moments as I was new to anxiety and learning about it. It made me feel far less "crazy".
As for your questions, there can be numerous causes/triggers of DR, some cases can be drug induced, some can be after a neurological injury, some can be anxiety related.
Also, mostly there are just theories as to the exact cause (physiologically) of various anxiety symptoms, and DR/DP is no exception. There's no doubt that severe and chronic anxiety leads to DR, and no doubt that when the anxiety is finally reined in, the DR will improve and then resolve. The "shift" theory makes a lot of sense to me, but also, I get to a point where the "why" just isn't important, as long as I'm aware of a cause/effect relationship/
I've had it numerous times, and every time I finally got my anxiety/panic under control, the DR would start to improve, and for ME, most times I just realized one day that it was mostly gone. I personally believe that is due to us thinking about it and focusing on how we feel a lot less as the anxiety gets better, which in turn leads to the improvement/resolution of the DR. MY experience with it was a sudden onset, and a sudden improvement.
Hang in there, I promise you won't feel like that forever, and just remember, remind yourself that as crazy as everything LOOKS, nothing has changed, the world around you is the same as it always has been, it's JUST a perception. Kind of like if you've ever gone to see a 3D movie? For a couple hours afterwards, your vision can be a little off, and everything looks odd.
Keep in touch, we're here for you!
That was a great journal posts. A few questions though. I hear these drug caused dr. Are there different types? Nurse girl seems to
Experience my type of DR. And when I say colors, I'm saying more that people look like a cartoon character not as real. Things seem to all blend together and it's like a way of people looking less real. So my other question, if anxiety fuels this how does losing the anxiety re-shift the brain to make things normal again?
Experience my type of DR. And when I say colors, I'm saying more that people look like a cartoon character not as real. Things seem to all blend together and it's like a way of people looking less real. So my other question, if anxiety fuels this how does losing the anxiety re-shift the brain to make things normal again?
Here is ng's journal.
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/index/480448?page=5&personal_page_id=434&sort_by=date
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/index/480448?page=5&personal_page_id=434&sort_by=date
Hello there!
It sounds like textbook DR to me! I've been there, and it's terrible. Everything looks so weird and unfamiliar, colors, people, everything. You described it perfectly.
The bad news is, it can stick around for a while, but the GOOD news is, it's not harmful, it's only a perception. The BEST news is, as soon as you address the anxiety and get that to a more manageable level, the DR will follow suit.
The very BEST thing you can do is try VERY hard not to think about it and distract yourself to an extreme. It really does help! If you click on my username and browse through my journals, you'll see one about that. Read it and most importantly, read all of the comments. It's amazing how many people go through it. There is a lot of helpful info in those comments.
Hang in there, keep posting. We're here for you!
It sounds like textbook DR to me! I've been there, and it's terrible. Everything looks so weird and unfamiliar, colors, people, everything. You described it perfectly.
The bad news is, it can stick around for a while, but the GOOD news is, it's not harmful, it's only a perception. The BEST news is, as soon as you address the anxiety and get that to a more manageable level, the DR will follow suit.
The very BEST thing you can do is try VERY hard not to think about it and distract yourself to an extreme. It really does help! If you click on my username and browse through my journals, you'll see one about that. Read it and most importantly, read all of the comments. It's amazing how many people go through it. There is a lot of helpful info in those comments.
Hang in there, keep posting. We're here for you!
It makes life feel robotic. Best way to describe it. :(. Again, you can never relate to this feeling unless you went through it.
I appreciate the support. But this is constant. Outside and open places it's the worst. I don't know if it has anything to do with tripping on shrooms back in my early 20's. Then when I lost my mom to her 8 year battle with brain cancer I was sitting in the cafeteria and it hit me that my mom who I loved and gave me a great life was gone forever. Then boom no felt like I contracted and the visual of the unreality occurred. It *****. And nothing I have done for the past 5 years has made it go away. I can still play basketball and managed to do pretty well with my job. What can I say, I can juggle things. It's like watching a 5-6 guy dunk a ball. Although he has an obstacle he still finds a way to live and do well. I would love for this **** to shutoff one day. Any tips?
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